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101 ways to annoy people

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Bfoster133, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. Jun 22, 2011 at 11:48 PM
    #1
    Bfoster133

    Bfoster133 [OP] If i asked my dad for money, He'd knock me out

    Joined:
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    Blake
    Thousand oaks, California
    Vehicle:
    2011 PreRunner TRD offroad
    15% Tint, 5100's at 1.75, Rear Diff Breather, CB radio, Black rattle canned rims, 265/75/16 Goodyear MTR, Magnaflow Offroad pro cat back, hi-lift bed mounted, shovel bed mounted
    Note: this takes a good bit of time to read

    1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

    2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

    5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

    7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

    8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

    9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

    10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

    11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

    12. Sniffle incessantly.

    13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

    14. Name your dog "Dog."

    15. Insist on keeping your tacomas windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

    17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

    19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

    20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

    21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

    22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

    23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

    25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

    26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

    27. Wear a special hip holster for your
    remote control.

    28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

    31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

    32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    34. Drum on every available surface.

    35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

    37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

    38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
    into peoples backpacks.

    39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

    40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

    41. Set alarms for random times.

    42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

    43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

    44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

    45. Honk and wave to strangers.

    46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

    47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

    49. Wear your pants backwards.

    50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

    51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

    52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

    53. only type in lowercase.

    54. dont use any punctuation either

    55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

    56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

    57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

    58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

    59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

    60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

    61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

    62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

    63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

    64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

    65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

    66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

    67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

    68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

    69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

    71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

    72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

    73. Drive half a block.

    74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

    75. Ask people what gender they are.

    76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

    77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

    78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

    79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

    80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

    81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

    82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

    83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

    84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

    86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

    87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

    88. Sing along at the opera.

    89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

    90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

    91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

    92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

    93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
    about "psychological profiles."

    94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

    95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

    96. Never make eye contact.

    97. Never break eye contact.

    98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

    99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

    100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

    101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
     
  2. Jun 23, 2011 at 12:03 AM
    #2
    Bfoster133

    Bfoster133 [OP] If i asked my dad for money, He'd knock me out

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Member:
    #55492
    Messages:
    1,803
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    Thousand oaks, California
    Vehicle:
    2011 PreRunner TRD offroad
    15% Tint, 5100's at 1.75, Rear Diff Breather, CB radio, Black rattle canned rims, 265/75/16 Goodyear MTR, Magnaflow Offroad pro cat back, hi-lift bed mounted, shovel bed mounted
    :p
     
  3. Jun 23, 2011 at 12:05 AM
    #3
    yotamikez

    yotamikez Street glide or die

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    Valrico
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    Wow I needed a good laugh! :rofl: about number 20
     
  4. Jun 23, 2011 at 12:11 AM
    #4
    Bfoster133

    Bfoster133 [OP] If i asked my dad for money, He'd knock me out

    Joined:
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    Member:
    #55492
    Messages:
    1,803
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    Thousand oaks, California
    Vehicle:
    2011 PreRunner TRD offroad
    15% Tint, 5100's at 1.75, Rear Diff Breather, CB radio, Black rattle canned rims, 265/75/16 Goodyear MTR, Magnaflow Offroad pro cat back, hi-lift bed mounted, shovel bed mounted
    thanks :cool:
     
  5. Jun 23, 2011 at 12:32 AM
    #5
    Bfoster133

    Bfoster133 [OP] If i asked my dad for money, He'd knock me out

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2011
    Member:
    #55492
    Messages:
    1,803
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Blake
    Thousand oaks, California
    Vehicle:
    2011 PreRunner TRD offroad
    15% Tint, 5100's at 1.75, Rear Diff Breather, CB radio, Black rattle canned rims, 265/75/16 Goodyear MTR, Magnaflow Offroad pro cat back, hi-lift bed mounted, shovel bed mounted
    bump 4 hard work?
     
  6. Jun 23, 2011 at 7:38 AM
    #6
    LTE

    LTE NRA Benefactor Member

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    in my own little world
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    07 SR5II; Longbed; FLyzeyes LED
    window tint, step bars, Flyzeye LED interior console light
    Whenever you close a computer window at work, start crying and yell, "I though we meant something!"
     
  7. Jun 23, 2011 at 7:42 AM
    #7
    Pugga

    Pugga Pasti-Dip Free 1983 - 2015... It was a good run

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    F-150 Mod
    Any checks I've made out to my parents, I always put "For Drugs' in the memo field. My mom usually fails to see the humor and will only deposit them at an ATM so she doesn't have to see the teller's reaction :D
     
  8. Jun 23, 2011 at 7:57 AM
    #8
    woodygg

    woodygg Well-Known Member

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    Just act like Lebron James....
     
  9. Jun 23, 2011 at 8:10 AM
    #9
    LaTechLogan

    LaTechLogan Well-Known Member

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    Logan
    Louisiana
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    '08 PreRunner Sport
    - K&N intake - Pioneer headunit - 2 Kicker 10" subwoofers & amp - Nokya Hyper Yellow foglights - 18" Magnaflow muffler - Bilstein 5100 shocks set to 0" - Eibach coil springs - 1.5" blocks in back
    :rofl:

    The entire list was hilarious, great post!
     
  10. Jun 23, 2011 at 8:11 AM
    #10
    Who Dat Popcorn

    Who Dat Popcorn Dafuq

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    Richmond, VA
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    Sold :/
    SOLD
    Pretty funny, lol
     
  11. Jun 23, 2011 at 8:16 AM
    #11
    Brandon9402

    Brandon9402 uncoordinated dirtbox

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    Brandon
    Mississippi
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    02 prerunner sr5
    Kenwood headunit, 4 kicker 5x7 coaxials,2 memphis 1.5" tweeters, 2 12" memphis subwoofers, memphis 500w amp, chrome grille guard, kc fog lamps, chrome side steps, chrome tool box, and window visors
    ive done 95 and 32 several times :)
     
  12. Jun 23, 2011 at 9:56 AM
    #12
    LTE

    LTE NRA Benefactor Member

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    Messages:
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    in my own little world
    Vehicle:
    07 SR5II; Longbed; FLyzeyes LED
    window tint, step bars, Flyzeye LED interior console light
    When buying a car, ask the salesman numerous times, "I just want to make sure the steering wheel is included."
     
  13. Jun 23, 2011 at 10:02 AM
    #13
    jgwheeler17

    jgwheeler17 I'm a zit. Get it?

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    tint, dents, scratches, two blown speakers and trying to pay her off...
    sub'd so i can finish reading later. . .

    though one i didn't see that i do a lot - when someone says something to you and you don't catch it all, instead of "what" or "say that again", say "what'd you say to me?!" as if you were offended. (not funny when reading it here, but it is in person)
     
  14. Jun 23, 2011 at 10:16 AM
    #14
    LTE

    LTE NRA Benefactor Member

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    in my own little world
    Vehicle:
    07 SR5II; Longbed; FLyzeyes LED
    window tint, step bars, Flyzeye LED interior console light
    I like that one.
     
  15. Jun 23, 2011 at 11:22 AM
    #15
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey There's an evil monkey in my truck

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    Weathertech front & rear mats, rear suspension TSB, Toytec AAL for TSB, Hi-Lift Jack, Bilstein 5100 & Toytec Adjustable coilovers, Built Right UCAs, KMC XD 795 Hoss Wheels, Definity Dakota MTs 285/75R16, Leer XR, Thule Tracker II & Thule MOAB basket
    I have office mates who know Morse code. They use dit and dah. So your sample would come out as da dit dit da dit.
     
  16. Jun 23, 2011 at 2:08 PM
    #16
    Bfoster133

    Bfoster133 [OP] If i asked my dad for money, He'd knock me out

    Joined:
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    2011 PreRunner TRD offroad
    15% Tint, 5100's at 1.75, Rear Diff Breather, CB radio, Black rattle canned rims, 265/75/16 Goodyear MTR, Magnaflow Offroad pro cat back, hi-lift bed mounted, shovel bed mounted
    :rofl:
     
  17. Jun 27, 2011 at 7:04 AM
    #17
    LTE

    LTE NRA Benefactor Member

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    in my own little world
    Vehicle:
    07 SR5II; Longbed; FLyzeyes LED
    window tint, step bars, Flyzeye LED interior console light
    Hook all the paper clips together amd put them back in the box.
     
  18. Jun 27, 2011 at 7:06 AM
    #18
    Pugga

    Pugga Pasti-Dip Free 1983 - 2015... It was a good run

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    F-150 Mod
    I'm guilty of that one... :eek:
     
  19. Jun 29, 2011 at 8:02 AM
    #19
    geoff06

    geoff06 261k and counting

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    next time you get in an elevator with only one other person-- just stare at them with your mouth slightly open, and make your breathing sound labored
     
  20. Jun 29, 2011 at 8:30 AM
    #20
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey There's an evil monkey in my truck

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    Robert
    Escondido, CA
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    07 4x4 DC SR5 TRD Off-road
    Weathertech front & rear mats, rear suspension TSB, Toytec AAL for TSB, Hi-Lift Jack, Bilstein 5100 & Toytec Adjustable coilovers, Built Right UCAs, KMC XD 795 Hoss Wheels, Definity Dakota MTs 285/75R16, Leer XR, Thule Tracker II & Thule MOAB basket
    Or quietly stand close to them like the elevator is very crowded.
     
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