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"40's & 50's" Midlife crisis/GTFO my lawn thread.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Matic, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:18 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    *sigh*

    After reading 4717 pages, I finally found that I am required to take a test so to speak. Sadly I started at this page and worked backwards. Guess it’s good that this 40 y/o with the medical condition of a 60 y/o is retired.

    So first thing I did after finding out what this “test” was, is to fill my gas tank and scour the country side. I looked far and wide but even my vortex spotting scope wasn’t up to the task.

    So leaving the sanctuary of my capable Tacoma, (I mean it’s TW, the story HAS to include it!) I continued on foot. The rain as hard and journey long. I climbed up a mountain through 12’ of snow and climbed back down into the valley (all things are up hill both ways).

    In the valley I came to a cabin, tired from my hike I decided to take a rest. There was one bed that was far to large, then another that was far to small. Finally found one that seemed about right, only to find a fucking wolf in the bed?! Well with that I left, I’m not going to sleep in a bed that allows a filthy wolf under the covers!

    I continued down the trail, it was quite easy to follow its golden hue... I came across this weird boy flying around and he asked what I was looking for. I told him to mind his own damn business and continued on. When I finally got to glade I was looking for I took my rifle off my shoulder. I lowered the legs on my bipod, settled into the prone... took out my range finder gauged the distance. Then I very slowly and very deliberately lined up my shot. The explosion cause birds to take to the air and animals to run, but I wasn’t worried, my shot was true. I stood back up, shouldered my rifle and walked down. I looked over the body, then lowered the vial and let the beasts tears fill the glass container. As I left, I turned and bit fair well... giving Aslan my thanks for his life.

    When I finally got home I poured the tears into my feeder and sat on the porch with a glass of lemon aid. When the local children seen the elusive hummingbirds arrive they ran to watch. I stood up, shouldered my shotgun and told them to get off my damn lawn.

    The thing I like most about hummingbirds is that in Montana, they only drink fucking lion tears.
     
    Matic [OP], medic2230, MQQSE and 7 others like this.
  2. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:20 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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  3. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:27 PM
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Lol... That post was full of win!
     
    MQQSE likes this.
  4. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:27 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    :hattip:
     
  5. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:50 PM
    CaptAmerica

    CaptAmerica Asphalt Avenger! TTC#13

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  6. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:51 PM
    TenBeers

    TenBeers Well-Known Member

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    I'm so conflicted, I wanna punch that goat and hug the new guy.
     
  7. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:57 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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  8. Aug 12, 2019 at 6:59 PM
    Pchop

    Pchop Beavis Killer

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    shane100700 likes this.
  9. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:01 PM
    Pchop

    Pchop Beavis Killer

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    FUCKING BRAVO!!!!
     
    shane100700 likes this.
  10. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:07 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    :hattip:
     
  11. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:32 PM
    VE7OSR

    VE7OSR Well-Known Member

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    shane100700 likes this.
  12. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:33 PM
    RearViewMirror

    RearViewMirror Saw things so much clearer once you... were in my

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    Normally it's the other way around ;)
     
    sandjunkie likes this.
  13. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:33 PM
    VE7OSR

    VE7OSR Well-Known Member

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    Yes, but how do you feel about hummingbirds?
     
  14. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:36 PM
    CXYyuppie

    CXYyuppie Sarcasm Master

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    Stuff with some other black things
    Ok, I'll jump in on it.
    The wife is pissed. I'm offshore for another week and I didn't have time to spray the flower beds for spiders before I let. Well you would know it, she sent me a text saying that we had a humming bird stuck in a spider web. It had been drained of its fluids. I asked her to send me a picture and she said no way she was going by that spider web if the spider was big enough to eat a bird. I guess I'll be in the dog house as soon as I get back home. I f..king hate those Banana spiders. Evil bastards.
     
  15. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:41 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    I like them, geez read the last sentence. :smack:


    Guys, this ones ready for the over 60 thread.
     
    MQQSE likes this.
  16. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:42 PM
    CXYyuppie

    CXYyuppie Sarcasm Master

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    Stuff with some other black things
    WTF is wrong with people? Probably the same kind of jackass that gets their feelings hurt b/c someone looked at them wrong. I bet they don't even eat meat!
     
    shane100700 likes this.
  17. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:44 PM
    shane100700

    shane100700 Bed, Bath & Beyond Crawler

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    I’m sure it was some kind of social or environmental justice driven reason. Complete fuckery.

    Have I said how much I hate “most” of our youth.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2019
    CXYyuppie likes this.
  18. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:49 PM
    HomerTaco

    HomerTaco Fuck COVID-19 Vendor

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    ...................................................................................................................................................... Core-Hurst short throw shifter & T-handle / Carbon Fiber Interior / custom console light / De-badged / leather interior / Heated Front seats / Red Line Hood Struts / Painted speaker grills /one-off TRD Satoshi Grill with 12-15 front-end swap/ Pioneer AVIC-X920BT HU / Scangauge II / Black LED Tails / Dash Mount for iPad mini / Safari Snorkel / Auto-pilot mode / Leer 100XQ Cap / 4x Innovations sliders / Rear Diff Breather Mod / front windows tinted to 35% / Brute Force Fab Hybrid Front Bumper / BAMF Rear Diff Skid / Budbuilt Skids / CBI Trail Master 2.0 rear hybrid bumper / Fox rr coils/ TC UCA's/ TC spindle gussets/ TC Cam Tab gussets / Dakar leafs / Defined Engineering shackles / All pro U bolt flip / Timbren Rear Bumpstops / BAMF LCA skids / Exhaust re-route / Fog Light anytime Mod / LowRange Off Road extended rear brake lines / ATO Shackle Flip / sectioned Bushwhacker flares / re-geared to 4.56 / ARB Front & Rear Locking Diff / ARB CKMA12 compressor / PrInSu full rack system / 1" body lift / Inchworm 4.7 crawlbox / twin stick FJ t-case / Davez off-road triple-stick kit/
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  19. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:50 PM
    HomerTaco

    HomerTaco Fuck COVID-19 Vendor

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    ...................................................................................................................................................... Core-Hurst short throw shifter & T-handle / Carbon Fiber Interior / custom console light / De-badged / leather interior / Heated Front seats / Red Line Hood Struts / Painted speaker grills /one-off TRD Satoshi Grill with 12-15 front-end swap/ Pioneer AVIC-X920BT HU / Scangauge II / Black LED Tails / Dash Mount for iPad mini / Safari Snorkel / Auto-pilot mode / Leer 100XQ Cap / 4x Innovations sliders / Rear Diff Breather Mod / front windows tinted to 35% / Brute Force Fab Hybrid Front Bumper / BAMF Rear Diff Skid / Budbuilt Skids / CBI Trail Master 2.0 rear hybrid bumper / Fox rr coils/ TC UCA's/ TC spindle gussets/ TC Cam Tab gussets / Dakar leafs / Defined Engineering shackles / All pro U bolt flip / Timbren Rear Bumpstops / BAMF LCA skids / Exhaust re-route / Fog Light anytime Mod / LowRange Off Road extended rear brake lines / ATO Shackle Flip / sectioned Bushwhacker flares / re-geared to 4.56 / ARB Front & Rear Locking Diff / ARB CKMA12 compressor / PrInSu full rack system / 1" body lift / Inchworm 4.7 crawlbox / twin stick FJ t-case / Davez off-road triple-stick kit/
    Made it through 3 episodes so far. Yes, really weird. I’ll continue with #4 tomorrow.
     
    RearViewMirror likes this.
  20. Aug 12, 2019 at 7:52 PM
    Soul Surfer

    Soul Surfer •ODNAREM Life• Jimi Was Last Seen: Road Trippin’

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    Understood, sorry I jumped in here Sunday to touch base with RVM without introducing myself correctly and taking the test. I have high Respect of you all, see how well you get along. Definitely some good folks.

    I think Hummingbirds are real unique. I don’t see to many here at the beach, but would get to watch them land on the feeder while having breakfast up at my family’s place in the Adirondacks. It’s amazing that such a small breed of Bird has survived this long.
     
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