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45 Reasons to Re-Enlist

Discussion in 'Military' started by AFButters, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. Mar 2, 2013 at 7:49 PM
    #21
    AlphaEcho2k5

    AlphaEcho2k5 Well-Known Member

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    Just re-upped for 5 more years on my b-day, last Tuesday.
     
  2. Mar 3, 2013 at 1:05 PM
    #22
    Zoot

    Zoot Well-Known Member

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    Congrats, ..you are at Bragg? What's your AFSC?
     
  3. Mar 5, 2013 at 12:59 PM
    #23
    Alderleet

    Alderleet Ace of Spades

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    Ha, i just got orders, and I'm 6months out. Still have to re-enlist to get the orders though.. (hint, it has soul...)

    So yeah, im at the impasse now of deciding to continue, and having a sorta-okay time in the orient, or getting the hell out and finishing my damn mech engineering degree.

    I dont want my life to start at 28 :/
     
  4. Mar 10, 2013 at 3:16 PM
    #24
    NvrSumR

    NvrSumR Well-Known Member

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    A TDY is a vacation, a good paying vacation too.
     
  5. Mar 10, 2013 at 7:54 PM
    #25
    Teniente

    Teniente Well-Known Member

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    Carson City, NV/Ensenada, Baja California, MX
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    If you have ever been in the Navy these should sound familiar. If you want to enlist in the Navy, practice the following:

    1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.
    2. Run all of the piping and wires of your house on the inside of the walls.
    3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."
    4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
    5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawnmower.
    6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
    7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.
    8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."
    9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.
    10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "Secured - contact OA DIV at X-3053."
    11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's ok for you to leave your house before 3pm.
    12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family through the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next day.
    13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.
    14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc)
    15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
    16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lit off".
    17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.
    18. Repaint your entire house once a month.
    19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.
    20. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, randomly losing every 5th item.
    21. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.
    22. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.
    23. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.
    24. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel."
    25. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonald, and NOT get promoted.
    26. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.
    27. When your children have been in bed for 3 hours, run into their room with a megaphone, and shout at the top of your lungs that your home is under attack, and order them to man their battle stations.
    28. Post a menu on the refrigerator door informing your family that you are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for at least an hour, when they finally get to the kitchen, tell them that you are out of steak, but you have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they don't pay attention to the menu any more, they just ask for hot dogs.
    29. In the middle of January, place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have you family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4-hour intervals.
    30. Lock yourself and your family in your house for 6 weeks. Then tell them that at the end of the 6th week you're going to take them to Disneyland for "weekend liberty". When the end of the 6th week rolls around, inform them that Disneyland has been canceled due to the fact that they need to get ready for E-cert, and that it will be another week before they can leave the house.
     
  6. Mar 10, 2013 at 8:05 PM
    #26
    BuzzardsGottaEat

    BuzzardsGottaEat "Pick up some speed.. You'll make it."

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    I'm calling it like I see it, this post is bull crap. One of my machine gunners is muslim. If you really think this is funny, you're a douchebag. Moving along . . .
     
  7. Mar 14, 2013 at 4:08 PM
    #27
    Zoot

    Zoot Well-Known Member

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    Heard this on BBC radio earlier: The weather will be a muslim this week, either sunni or shi'ite.
     
  8. Mar 14, 2013 at 7:00 PM
    #28
    BuzzardsGottaEat

    BuzzardsGottaEat "Pick up some speed.. You'll make it."

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    See, now that's a little more classy ha

    So, I was just sharing my opinion. Sorry if I dumped in the thread but the OP of that poor joke neg repped me for sharing my opinion. You got me, man. Imaginary negative points for disagreeing with you :wave:
     
  9. Mar 18, 2013 at 10:18 AM
    #29
    Afwrestler1986

    Afwrestler1986 Well-Known Member

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    Nope, wasn't me who neg repped you. Frankly, I could not possibly care any less about what you write in regards to a joke that I posted how long ago? yeah, 2009 was just yesterday wasn't it? Aside from my complete lack of give a shit, had it of been me that sent you the "colorless Neg rep" you can be sure that I would have both written my name next to it with a comment, on top of call you out in public for the inability to take a joke.

    So you have a Muslim friend? Great. Whatever, there are more muslims in the military than your friend. Now believe this or not, but I had one friend while I spent my enlistment in the great state of Louisiana (who incidentally thought it was kind of funny if not taken literally) and have a friend at my current base who is also Muslim. I also have black friends who tell me some of the most ridiculous black jokes you could imagine.

    So please, take your self righteous attitude and check it at the door. Now, had you of just sent me a pm asking me to remove it because it offended you, I would have given you shit about it and then removed it.

    But you didn't, and then you accused me of that which I did not do. I should neg rep you now, but I won't. Good day.
     
  10. Mar 18, 2013 at 10:23 AM
    #30
    Zombie Runner

    Zombie Runner Are these black helicopters for me?

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    The butt hurt is strong in here
     
  11. Mar 19, 2013 at 11:49 AM
    #31
    Zoot

    Zoot Well-Known Member

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    Butt hurt indeed.. kinder, gentler, politically correct Air Force.

    My friend did his four years and got out, took a civilian job as a tech school instructor. He told me the other day that a SSgt called a kid stupid, the kid went to legal/EO, filed a complaint and has the SSgt doing extra duty with some sort of reprimand.

    Two years ago when I was an instructor I had a similar situation where a girl who had been in over two years and worked 'live' missions in Afghanistan couldn't find it on the map. I said "Are you fucking kidding me? How long have you been doing this?" Yeah not my most "professional" moment but at the end of the day she came into my office and sincerely apologized.
     
  12. Mar 21, 2013 at 7:12 AM
    #32
    Moco

    Moco Well-Known Member

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    Seems to me youre a *** and a poor excuse for a 31. In fact, there's no way I can believe youre a team leader / squad leader with that vaginal excretion you threw up there. You know what else, I guarantee you that the Marines in your platoon will think it was funny too.

    I thought it was funny.
     
  13. Mar 21, 2013 at 4:01 PM
    #33
    BuzzardsGottaEat

    BuzzardsGottaEat "Pick up some speed.. You'll make it."

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