60+ year old thread.

Some of you might be familiar with my occasional tales about my dad and his health. About two weeks ago we went to the hospital because he was experiencing symptoms of a heart issue -- chest tightness, shortness of breath, angina symptoms. This is not new, his heart has been a bit of a medical miracle for a few years now. During the workup they found some fluid in one of his lungs. It wasn't noticeable in his daily activities so it went under the radar. They asked if he wanted them to drain it while he was in there and he said sure why not.

Yeah, well, no. The cardio team nixed it. They said his heart would not sustain him through the procedure.

Long story short, no more medical procedures.

If you've 'been there done that' you know where this is going. Dad went on "palliative care" late last week. Within a few days his condition worsened, he required oxygen, and he is on hospice care now.

It's been a bumpy transition. His mood has swung from "here's the will, see you later" to "take me off hospice and get me to the emergency room, I want them to fix this!" I have to admit that I've been right there with him. But we're all starting to come to the realization that his heart has run out of cards to play. It's failing, pretty quickly. Not heart attack quick but not slow either. I dread every ring of the phone when I'm not there with him.

The hospice nurse is a remarkable human being. How anyone does that job is beyond me. She's been at it for over 20 years! A calling perhaps. No mincing of words with me, just the straight stuff. A softer approach with dad. She is easing him in. A true professional. She's managing his symptoms and helping him -- and all of us -- come to terms with the diagnosis. When you give thanks to all of the unsung heroes who make our world turn, be sure to add hospice caregivers.

I've taken off work and applied myself full time to the task of doing all of the stuff dad was doing just a few weeks ago, such as keeping the shelves stocked and tending to mom's myriad needs. I'm also helping dad put his affairs in order. He's been in charge of the household, finances, and all the rest for so long that my mom no longer has any idea what is going on in those areas. So it's critically important to him that someone is there to step in when the time comes that he can't continue to do that job. He also wants to leave a little bit of a legacy in terms of contributions to charities, gifts to grandchildren, and support to other entities which have played large roles in his and his family's lives. His mind is as sharp as any 94 year old I've ever known which is a big help. I'm carrying my laptop wherever I go after coming to the realization that my thumb typing skillz are just a notch above nonexistent. Even though my mom and dad were very thorough in putting things in place to ensure a smooth transition out of the mortal realm, there is still a ton of stuff that needs attention. A good thing in a way, because it keeps minds from focusing on the inevitable elephant that is sitting in the room, watch in hand.

Anyway that's what I've been up to. Thanks for reading.

 

My prayers are with you Dave.

 

May God bless you Dave and your family. I know that no words that any of us can say can ease your anguish and pain. You’ll get through this. I will pray for you and your family.

 

Good morning all. Today I am finally getting to work in the garage. First up is to replace the drivers side outside rea view mirror. The housing is broken from an accidental hit with a 2X6. Too bad I have to take off the interior door panel to replace the mirror. Hopefully I will not break any panel retaining clips.

 

Morning all:
Sad post Dave, unfortunately reality time has come as it will for all of us in one way or another, prayers for you and your family.
Might add this, making it to 94 is a feat in itself, be glad he managed a long life, I know a lot of people who never even got close to that.

No hunting today, buddies wife has to go to the hospital to have a kidney stone procedure done, foggy as heck anyway.

 

Good morning, all. Another day of self-quarantine begins. We are all well at this point.

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, Dave. Never easy. But, I agree that the hospice nurses are amazing people. The team that worked with my mom/us was just superb and made her passing as easy as it could have been. We will keep you all in our prayers.

 

My father passed of heart failure and his hospice nurse must surely have a heart of gold. I spent his last two weeks with him and she helped everyone involved get along the best she could. The downward spiral is especially miserable for the afflicted person - pop would have cheerfully walked in front of a speeding truck.

All our best regards to your dad, you and your family.

 

So sorry to hear about your Dad Dave. Hospice is one place I feel has a very caring and understanding staff and yes they are Heroes for the job they do. My hopes and prayers for your family and you and your Mom. I have been through this in the past and it is not easy. Prayers and God bless you all.

 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and words.

This. As much as I want every minute I can get with him, I believe he'd be happier if the ticker just stopped ticking and got it over with.

I found out something pretty interesting this morning. As some of you may know, Social Security places a pretty high bar in front of people attempting to participate in determining and managing the benefits of others. A Durable Power of Attorney is completely useless for example. You need to go through a very strict process to become a "representative payee." Well not anymore. As of 2020 there is a new process called "Advance Designation of Representative Payee". By filling out a form online or on paper, or by calling SSA, a person can designate people in advance to become "representative payees" should the need arise in the future. This is a really good thing. I'm going to do it for myself, and I'm going to encourage my folks to do it. I recommend anyone eligible for, or receiving, SS benefits to have a look.

https://www.ssa.gov/payee/advance_designation.htm

 

Geez Dave, they keep changing the rules!
That's a very informative post Dave, at one time a "power of attorney" was sufficient for A-Z, then it was a "durable power of attorney", now you are mentioning another legal technicality that they are throwing in there. Seems like you need to check every 6 mo. if for what you prepared for in advance still does what it was meant to do. I went through that with my mother, power of attorney was set up years ago, when I went to "conduct her business" as stated in the POA they told me I needed a durable POA to do what I needed to do on her behalf, luckily she could still set up a durable power of attorney and that took care of everything at the time.
Without you mentioning this, I would still have the assumption that a durable power of attorney was it, A-Z, what's next!!!!!

 

SS is changing quickly and it is one of the positive actions to come out of this pandemic. I applied for Medicare part B in the middle of July and had to mail my paperwork to the local SS office. My wife had problems with applying for Part B and had to refile this week and have it retroactive to this past September. She was able to process the same documents on line and not have to mail them in.

A lot of people only see the negatives during this time. As we go forward there will be a lot more positives than negatives. Another positive is contactless home deliveries from restaurants. They should have been doing this for decades.


So I replaced the mirror this morning. In the category of "Why does this happen to only me". Part of the sail housing that attaches to the door was broken on the new mirror. I had to take both mirror assemblies apart to use the old sail housing. One of the thorax bolts , on the old housing, was rusted in place. I used an impact driver to remove the bolt and broke off the bolt head. Fortunately the shaft of the bolt was in the mirror section that I was trashing. Took 45 minutes for a 25 minute job.

Wife came to me with a broken drawer from my son's dresser. Glued and clamped the drawer and had to remove the broken wooden glide to glue and clamp that too.

Busy morning but I like it that way.

 

I need to do a front brake job on my truck. Should I do it today? Nah, think I'll do it tomorrow...

 

Procrastination is a sign of a successful retirement. Keep up the good work but don’t start for a couple days.

 

No I disagree. It’s a sign of the list getting longer.

 

LIST , I have LISTS!
I'll get to them one day, I hope!
Just cleaned the coal stove today, should have been done a month or so ago, as I get older the motivation factor is dwindling!

 

I need a big wall plaque with that on it. Eye level for my wife.

 

Got my truck painted and had a pro detail the interior. I bought this truck new 11 years ago (longest I’ve ever kept a vehicle) and have used it primarily for my hunting, fishing and camping adventures and towing my boat. It’s got me into and out of some remote and rugged country. Mechanically it’s perfect. But the paint was peeling and it had 11 years of dirty muddy dog and hunter/fisherman getting in and out. It was grungy. Now it’s like a new truck inside and out. Here’s a couple pix.

 

Good morning everyone!! A beautiful 54 degrees here this morning - more like late spring than fall. Picked up some leaves yesterday - let the fun begin. And, another day in self-quarantine starts.

Be safe out there!

 

Good morning. 52 here in Maryland going up to 79. Physical therapy for the right shoulder today. Shoulder feels better than it has in 3 months. The discomfort is almost gone.

 

Good morning fellow old farts and Susan. Yesterday my dad got a call from one of his doctors to explain that one of the treatments he had been getting earlier was unlikely to do him any good now. They will be stopping it. This kind of news is very difficult for him to take. He's always been a positive thinker and he hasn't found a way to turn that around in his current situation.

I've been going over every day to help around the apartment and continue to get affairs in order. He is sleeping most of the time now but is sharpest in the morning. I'm going over tomorrow to be supervised by him as I make his favorite poached egg and tomato breakfast. Wish me luck!