60+ year old thread.

Welcome Bill, grab a seat and enjoy the ride...

...enjoy the weekend Mike...

RIP Col. Mize...

Thanks for the fist pump smilie Tom..I wonder if we can get it added to the TW list of smilies???

Have a Happy Easter all

 

Good morning Ken. Time to head out to the gym. Need to get a cabin air filter for my niece's 2005 corolla. Told her I would replace that tomorrow and clean the battery terminals. Dealer wanted $54 for the filter and $48 to clean the terminals.

Put a photocell on the pond lights yesterday and it worked correctly the first time. Did some other pond work as well. Today is all about cleaning the inside of the house and doing laundry. I think we have 16 for dinner tomorrow night.

 

Morning and Happy Easter Weekend Everybody.

 

Morning all:
A salute to Col. Mize. RIP

Out in the back this morning! BANG!
There is a bearded hen with him.

 

Morning Carl.

Hmmm ... Turkey Sammich sounds good.

 

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.


The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,



"You still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"



And that's how the fight started.....



________________________________



My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.



I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And that's when the fight started...
________________________________



My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.



I asked her, "Do you know him?"




"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."


"My Goodness!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...



________________________________



When our lawn mower broke my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.




But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.




Always something more important to me.




Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.



When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.





I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.




I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.




I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."



Then the fight started.



______________________________



My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.



She asked, "What's on TV?"


I said, "Dust."



And then the fight started...



________________________________



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.




I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.




The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.



I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.




I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."



My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"



And that's how the fight started....
_______________________________



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.



She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 175 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......
______________________________



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.




The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.


I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and comeback later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.


So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.



She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.


She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.

You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...



________________________________



My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,


"I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."



And then the fight started...

________________________________

I took the wife to a restaurant for our anniversay and ordered a steak.

The waiter asked me how I like it done.

"Rare," I said.

"Sir, aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's how the fight started.

________________________________

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
----------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And then the fight started....
----------

A man and woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started....



She says, "Honey do I look fat??" He says, "Nope ... Just don't get any bigger."
Then the fight started.

-------

She said, "I don't snore." I said, "I have a recording here that says differently."

And then the fight started.

------

She says, "You should pull over for directions"
And then the fight started.

-------
The cashier asked my wife did she wanted a senior discount... Then the fight started.

-------

I was with the ex at the store once and she was buying a bra and she said they never have the right size.

I said " You mean they don't make a 38 LONG "....and that's when the fight started.

___________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning with my Tacoma...the start of a REALLY bad day!


The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!



He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'


So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

And then the fight started..

 

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT........

RIP Col. Mize.

 

Hehehe
Good one's Bill

 

Hi Mike, How's the weekend going? Have a good Easter with the family and leave the kids Easter candy alone.

I especially laughed at the last one Bill, it was good...At least your an equal opportunity joke teller...Sue can't give you a because you picked on women only...

 

Not sure she can't, but maybe she won't.

EDIT: Wait for it ...

 

Thanks Ken
Going ok.
Went for a quick bike ride.
Sanded down a few spots on the taco frame and re sprayed. Will go over it again next week and spray it down with FF for the summer. It's a adhesion issue with these frames because the paint pops off in little bits. That starts the issues.
The grandson has an Easter basket the size of a table lamp. A new bubble machine. He loves to chase the bubbles and stomp on them.
We already ate the candy for my son and DIL. We had to pick up more shopping today.
Tomorrow is a family day as I'm sure you know. So the Grandson is here early finding hidden eggs. Then out for Sea Food.
God I feel so fat already... Lol

Happy Easter to you as well

 

A man after my own heart...Candy then seafood

 

Hell yea.
Scallops and haddock dinner.

 

x2 Tom

Request submitted thru Chris4x4 to The Bob. We'll see what happens.

 

Im having garlic Salmon salad as we speak