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A Letter from Wayne ...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by chris4x4, Jun 5, 2009.

  1. Jun 5, 2009 at 2:27 PM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

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    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try to show some understanding. My name is Wayne , and let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Beverly.

    When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Bev to get a full time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

    Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the country club, so eating out again at night is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooking when I hit that door.

    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that the dishes won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

    Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think that this is one of my strong points.

    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice , big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
    lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too --- or just bring me a cold beer in a frosted mug.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Bev, and I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older, but, guys, even if you just use a little more
    tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

    Signed,
    Wayne



    EDITOR'S NOTE:

    Wayne died tragically on March 1st of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and with a sledge hammer lying nearby.

    His wife Beverly was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Wayne somehow, without looking, accidentally sat
    down on his golf club.
     
  2. Jun 5, 2009 at 2:30 PM
    #2
    JDMcQ

    JDMcQ Well-Known Member

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    That may be the greatest letter ever!
     
  3. Jun 5, 2009 at 2:57 PM
    #3
    rhoppas

    rhoppas Land of Oz

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    We should all strive to be as compassionate and understanding as Wayne. I am sure he will be missed..
     
  4. Jun 5, 2009 at 3:01 PM
    #4
    Toy4Life

    Toy4Life 668: The Neighbor of the Beast

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  5. Jun 5, 2009 at 3:05 PM
    #5
    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

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  6. Jun 5, 2009 at 3:06 PM
    #6
    MiikeyD

    MiikeyD The Green Machine

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    wtf they cant have an all woman jury!! that would give a biased verdict. retarded!
     
  7. Jun 5, 2009 at 3:07 PM
    #7
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

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    Its a joke. :cool:
     
  8. Jun 5, 2009 at 4:39 PM
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    magikbean562

    magikbean562 once flirted with danger, danger got clingy

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    you must have terrible add if you quoted something you just read:D amd mikey needs to lay off his own wacky tobaccy:rolleyes:
     
  9. Jun 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
    #9
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

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    I thought you would like that one! :)
     
  10. Jun 5, 2009 at 4:41 PM
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    MiikeyD

    MiikeyD The Green Machine

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    haha sorry law and order was on while i was reading it haha. but i have terrible ADD so i didnt read it all. i just skipped to the end. time for adderal!:goingcrazy:
     
  11. Jun 5, 2009 at 4:44 PM
    #11
    JM76

    JM76 Ride On

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    We all need to be a little more like Wayne, I can't wait to retire....maybe:D
     
  12. Jun 5, 2009 at 8:10 PM
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    JDMcQ

    JDMcQ Well-Known Member

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    I quoted it out of habit. Sometimes these threads move rather quickly and if you don't quote them people lose what you are referencing.
     
  13. Jun 5, 2009 at 8:16 PM
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    TheSchwartz

    TheSchwartz Well-Known Member

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  14. Jun 6, 2009 at 7:43 AM
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    ImpulseRed008

    ImpulseRed008 Gone But Not Forgotten

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    Ain't that the truth...
     
  15. Jun 6, 2009 at 8:14 AM
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    Plain Jane Taco

    Plain Jane Taco Well-Known Member

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    So damn funny! :thumbsup:
     
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