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Advice on dealing with a difficult coworker

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by yotanator, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:30 AM
    #1
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    I work in the parts department of a small dealership so there are only four of us and we are in close contact with each other all day. Everyone I work with is great, except for one guy who I swear is bipolar or something. He'll be fine and laughing and joking with us one moment, then will erupt like a volcano if one silly thing sets him off. It's usually something like a part getting misplaced or one of us using his notepads or some other BS.

    He has shouted at me a couple times and called me a child. The parts manager was there both times and he did nothing to my knowledge. He might have said something later in private, but knowing him I sort of doubt it.

    I've never had to deal with anyone like this before and I'm not sure how to handle it. Any advice?
     
  2. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:36 AM
    #2
    lookylookitzadam

    lookylookitzadam Retrofit Club!

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    Your a woman working in a parts department. Chances are the dude does not like that. He may have sexist issues. I see this all the time in the construction field as some of my colleagues are female engineers and construction workers tend to not take kindly to girls being in that field. It really is a horrible reality.

    I say you either take the high road and just try and ignore it, or just file formal complaints of verbal abuse. There is not really much you can legally do yourself without going the HR route, or else he may be reporting you, etc.
     
  3. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:38 AM
    #3
    tacomaman06

    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Enforcer

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    getting there....
    well........one of 2 things to do......either talk to the dude who goes crazy(probably not the best idea).......or go above the parts manager and talk to one of the other upper management people who are over the parts manager. thats probably the only thing you'll be able to do.....if not....dude will keep on doing what he's doing.
     
  4. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:42 AM
    #4
    fiestee23

    fiestee23 Well-Known Member

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    hmmm.... x2 ^^^
    But seriously dont include him in any of your conversations other then work related stuff. Most people will say take the high road and kill him with kindness. I say be a B1tch and he will learn not to F with you. That is coming from experience. It worked for me. HEHE. Just school him on your knowledge and ignore him otherwise. :mad:
     
  5. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:43 AM
    #5
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    Unfortunately I'm used to not being treated with respect because all my jobs except one have been in a male environment (ranch work, firefighting, and doing car sales for a short time). They seem to see me as a threat or something...

    Next time he shouts at me I would like to say something to stick up for myself, but I'm not sure what to say without making the situation worse. :eek:
     
  6. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:45 AM
    #6
    mws4ua

    mws4ua I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

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    I guarantee the dealership doesn't want to have a problem with a harrassment suit. I'm not suggesting you threaten one, but if you take Will's advice and talk to somebody above your manager, I bet they take action. If your manager isn't doing anything about it, you really don't have any other choice anyway.
     
  7. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:46 AM
    #7
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    We don't usually work on tasks together. He is a parts counter person, and I do some of that but mostly I'm out on the road doing deliveries. His problem is he thinks he's in charge of me because he thinks he can run the department better than the manager does. And my manager is a really lazy guy so he lets it fly because then he has less stuff to do.
     
  8. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:48 AM
    #8
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    We don't really have an upper management. Only 16 people work at the dealership. The only person I can think of to talk to who is in charge of my manager is the owner, but I dunno if should bother him about something like this..
     
  9. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:51 AM
    #9
    tacomaman06

    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Enforcer

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    getting there....
    if your manager isnt doing anything....and IT IS a type of harrassment........,then yeah....you need to talk to the owner.
     
  10. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:54 AM
    #10
    fiestee23

    fiestee23 Well-Known Member

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    you should have some sort of human resources person or associate relations right?
     
  11. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:54 AM
    #11
    Janster

    Janster Old & Forgetful

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    I've been in situations working on a machine with 2 other guys who thought they were 'GOD' (so to speak). Being the girl...you're always the one who they use to boost their own egos.

    Having a really good amount of self confidence is needed to 'stick up' for yourself and set these guys in their places (when the time is right). The key is...when the time is right.

    Like for instance....When he yells at you for something (and you're not really sure why he's yelling at you).... confront him calmly. Ask him WHY is this so important that you have to yell at me? (or something like that). Chances are - he'll be surprised you even confronted him in the first place, and won't know how to respond. If there's a legitimate reason why he's yelling...... (like there's some sort of procedure involved) - then it's HIS FAULT for not explaining to you the process at which you were never trained (did that make sense?).

    I think...with people like that... You need to be OPEN & HONEST communication. Standing up for yourself simply by 'talking' with him each time he yells at you. Let him know that you're not intimiated by him. If he has a problem with something - he should be able to talk to you directly (and calmly) without yelling. And hopefully, he'll feel more comfortable talking to you. If he's just a jackass who likes to yell at people....then ignore him and/or talk to your supervisors.

    I had a couple guys at work that would bitch about something I did on the machine. One day....I specifically told them exactly why I did it and why I thought it would work. I just blurted it out and never looked back. In both situations - those guys came back to me the next day and said, "What you told me yesterday makes sense and I never thought of it that way"
    They've respected me ever since.
     
  12. Jul 25, 2010 at 10:57 AM
    #12
    rhodehard09

    rhodehard09 sometimes nonsense is the only sense someone has

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  13. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:07 AM
    #13
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    I think so...she's the sister of the parts manager. I'm not sure if that's an advantage or disadvantage in this situation

    You're right. If it gets any worse then I would go to him, but I think I might try to talk to the guy who's being an a** first.

    Yeah I was thinking about taking a similar approach. The things he's yelled at me for have been really minor things, like missing the number of bolts in a bag and counting out the wrong amount, or one time when he put a delivery invoice at the bottom of my pile instead of in the front where I would see it immediately. That was the time he called me a child. :mad:

    I almost forgot about this, later one day when he had shouted at me for missing up a count when he had calmed down I told him that I'm dyslexic and that there are certain numbers that are difficult for me, but I am trying to take an extra moment to make sure they are right. He just looked at his feet maybe a little sheepishly and said, "Well I guess you just need to be a little more careful." The next time I messed that up he didn't yell at me, just showed me the box and pointed to the number.
     
  14. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:10 AM
    #14
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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  15. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:12 AM
    #15
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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  16. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:29 AM
    #16
    johnny12345

    johnny12345 Well-Known Member

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    have your husband or boyfriend beat the shit out of him. 60% of the time this is 100% effective!
     
  17. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:40 AM
    #17
    Janster

    Janster Old & Forgetful

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    So, you are making some sort of progress..... and he's understanding of the situation. Continue to confront him like that.... and sooner or later you'll both figure out a way to make it easier on both of you.

    Although, the fact that he called you a "child" - is irresponsible on his part. If he calls you a 'child' again (or some other disrespectful name calling), he needs to be confronted about that also. That's just disrespectful.

    I remember working at McDonalds back when I was much younger. A lady I worked with kept screwing things up, putting the wrong sandwiches in the boxes. People would get soooo mad at her. We didn't realize (at the time) that she couldn't read. She couldn't read the names on the boxes. I setup a color coding system for her so she could relate the colors of the boxes with the sandwiches. That worked like a charm and she was sooo happy after that.
    We did offer her to take classes, but she never accepted it.
     
  18. Jul 25, 2010 at 11:56 AM
    #18
    4WD

    4WD cRaZy oLdmAn

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    Umm actually by Ca. state law (Federal also) It's the employers responsibility (upper management) that employees have a reasonably safe,secure work environment. Free from harrassment from co workers i.e; religious, sexual, bullying (which is where your situation seems to fall) But its up to YOU to air your greviances with supervisors & your's sounds like he doesn't know his role in management, he should've addressed this to the guy ranting, not necessarily right there in front of you but later in the day in private. If you get to a point where you feel threatened physically by this guy management had BETTER nip it in the ass either by counseling & warning him and/or termination. If they don't address it they leave themselves open to law suit by you.....good luck:cool:
     
  19. Jul 25, 2010 at 2:48 PM
    #19
    yotanator

    yotanator [OP] Not your average girl

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    Don't have one to be of assistance :eek:

    It's great when employers try to help their employees that have problems like that. It makes the work environment so much easier! Being dyslexic and working with the Ford numbering system is AWFUL because you get combinations like 4XtZ-59P008-AA. Not fun. I see the letter 6 and I think 9 in my head, etc. I'm always writing things down wrong :eek:


    Thanks for the tip!
     
  20. Jul 25, 2010 at 2:50 PM
    #20
    JeffRock

    JeffRock Well-Known Member

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    kick him in the cock, and say he was sexually harassing you.
     
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