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Advice, please! (long read)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by RelentlessFab, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:41 PM
    #1
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab [OP] Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Ok guys(and TW girls) heres the deal.....
    My girlfriend, Kelsey, and I had been together for about 4 years and 2 months. She is/was my first serious girlfriend and we've been quite happy through the time we've been together. She is a year younger than I am and we even stayed together while I was 4 1/2hrs away at college for my first year. Over the last year, she's been at the same college as I and we've stayed together still. There are always a few rocky spots, but we got through them. Until recently. 3 weeks ago(the first week we were back home for summer) she randomly decided to break it off(on the phone one night. Why on the phone?), stating she 'didnt feel the same' as she had. Now after talking about it with her, it seems the leading factor was that I payed too much attention to my friends through the past year at college and not enough to her. She also said that I 'changed' when I was around my friends and wasnt the usual me. I would have to agree when looking back at it though. I really didn't give her the priority she had deserved in my life at the time. I really regret this, but as they say, 'live and learn.' Now that I know these things, i've grown up a lot over the time we've been apart and realize that I wasnt as great a boyfriend as i'd like for various reasons. I can say that the breakup HAS benefitted me in devolping as a person though and now I want to be better than I was.
    Anyways....
    While I was away at college my first year Kelsey and I decided to give each other promise rings and while not as meaningful as an engagement ring, it shows that we were committed and loyal to eachother. I'm not the type of guy that likes to get with tons of girls. I just like quality, meaningful relationships and I respect women. Kelsey was my life, and now its gone and I dont know what to do. I'm still crazy about her. I really just cant get over her. If I could, I would, but I am really still in love with her. She's always on my mind. Always. It doesnt matter what I'm doing and now its really tearing me up. I want to get back together with her, but really cant figure out how to make things go back to the way they were. I need to make her want to get back with me because obviously it isn't something that can be forced upon her, it need to be of her own free will. A bonus to me, her family really wants us back together. Her dad really likes me, and had actually made little comments about marriage here and there in the past(i love her enough that that would be fine with me though:)).
    As a side note, i've seen her and talked to her a few times since we broke up. I have talked with her about getting back together, but she doesnt seem interested right now.

    Sorry everyone. I just dont know what to do and needed to let this all out. I've read some good advice given to others in the past and hope i'll get some too. Any ideas on what might help me with the situation, or get us back together? Serious responses only please!
    Thanks:cool:
     
  2. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:46 PM
    #2
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    dude your 20, in collge and now single..Get some stank on your hang down..If she dosent want to get back together, fuck it, theres only like 2,000,000 other girls in the world. This may come off as rude or not what you want to hear, but its what you need to do.

    I wish i would have listened to this advise when my first "serious" relationship ended..even tho she was a dumb bitch.

    If she broke up with you on the phone, chances are there is another guy and she didnt want to hurt you anymore then needed.

    if you want her to want you back, make her work for it...Make it seem as thou you dont care(mistake I made)
     
  3. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:46 PM
    #3
    derekabraham

    derekabraham Living vicariously through everybody

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    I'm sorry to hear about that man. :eek:



    I feel the same way about my girl, but luckily we are still together and I hope that doesn't change.


    Just try to show her the attention that you showed her in the past, before you went to college. It might sound lame and cliche, but it's the best I've got for now. :eek:


    Send her a dozen red roses, too. Maybe on the date that you guys first got together. :D



    Cheers for respecting women. :D
     
  4. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:47 PM
    #4
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    That sucks, ive been in a relationship for about 5 years now very similar to u... maybe give her something that reminds her of some of the best times yall had together and then apologize
     
  5. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:48 PM
    #5
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    nah..you guys are pussy whipped..lol

    Dont send her roses, just completely ignore her..if she wants you back, make her work for it.
     
  6. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:50 PM
    #6
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    if u look back over your relationship and feel like it wasnt a waste, dont waste it do what needs to be done to get her back
     
  7. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:51 PM
    #7
    magikbean562

    magikbean562 once flirted with danger, danger got clingy

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    said all i would have said:cheers:. last time i posted somehting like this to a female member here, i got neg repped and a lot of negativity:laugh:
     
  8. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:53 PM
    #8
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab [OP] Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Had tons on the old Taco's.... new Tundra is pretty stock
    well, im home for summer in a town of 2000 people. Not much to do here. Not many other girls my age, and really none that i'm attracted to because of what I know about most of them. Its a really small town.
    I know my ex well. I dont think there is another guy shes interested in in this little town. there was one guy she worked with last year that I had thought she was interested in, even heard rumors about, but I know it was just rumors and nothing to worry about. I trust her. I'm a very inqusitive person and she tells me everything I ask of her.
     
  9. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:54 PM
    #9
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    or does she want to tell you what you want to hear?..girls are shady man.
     
  10. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:56 PM
    #10
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab [OP] Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Had tons on the old Taco's.... new Tundra is pretty stock
    Nope, it wasnt a waste and thats why i'm tryin to get back with her!:)
     
  11. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:58 PM
    #11
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab [OP] Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Had tons on the old Taco's.... new Tundra is pretty stock
    meh, I really think I can trust her. There were some little things in the past that she did which she regretted and she came clean about them. I've talked with her and both my own friends and some of hers and have nothing on her to make me worry that that is the case.
     
  12. Jul 6, 2009 at 9:58 PM
    #12
    magikbean562

    magikbean562 once flirted with danger, danger got clingy

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    not bad. but people change and especially youngins like yourselves. honest to god, bang as much as you can right now and get that out of your systems. you guys are way too young to be involved in serious/marriage talking relationships. dont be whores, but learn to move on when you see things you dont like in a chick, by the time the ONE, or her stunt double ( cause there are millions of the ONE's out there), comes around, you will know what to look for.
     
  13. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:00 PM
    #13
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    my gf likes to play dumb about guys that like her, that annoys me alot... i trust her but shell do the its ok he doesnt like me like that, i call bullshit... i dont think i have any female friends that i wouldnt bang if the oppurtunity/situation wasnt right, sorry not helping
     
  14. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:01 PM
    #14
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    ;) true. Just dont bang out her mom or anything:rolleyes: That wouldnt go over to well.
     
  15. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:02 PM
    #15
    jholland52

    jholland52 Well-Known Member

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    well im actually in a very similar boat... Me and my gf of a little over two years just broke up and i have asked my friends for advice also. the friends i asked are all in their late twenties and have all gone through the same thing and they tell me pretty much the same thing... you just need to try and move on, just stay as busy as you can and do anything to keep your mind off her. both of us are too young to be this hung up on a girl even if it was our first love, it won't be our last... and as cliche as this sounds if you are meant to be together you will be, especially since you two are from the same small town and will continue to see each other whether you like it or not.. good luck with this i know its hard... hope this helps.
     
  16. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:02 PM
    #16
    RelentlessFab

    RelentlessFab [OP] Tacoma offroad armor fabricating beast Vendor

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    Had tons on the old Taco's.... new Tundra is pretty stock
    not interested in that first piece of advice very much.
    That second piece is good advice though. I know there are lots out there, and there were no doubt a few things that I didnt like about her. It just seems that now that I look back at it, the good outweighs the negatives in this case.
     
  17. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:03 PM
    #17
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    ok, so if you dont wanna go out and bang, then mod the hell outta your truck since you dont have to spend the green on the female.
     
  18. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:04 PM
    #18
    derekabraham

    derekabraham Living vicariously through everybody

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    I'm not into the whole "oh dude I totally fucked that chick last night!" thing. If something really bad happens between my girlfriend and I, we will discuss things and then determine if it's right to move on. I'm not going to go out and bang shameless whores the next day.
     
  19. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:05 PM
    #19
    wildjerseyfirefighter

    wildjerseyfirefighter I sell fishing and fishing accessories

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    your right..id be still drunk from the night before:D

    Derek, your a good guy, but I think if your girlfriend left you, you should go gay..just sayin:p


























































    LOL jk
     
  20. Jul 6, 2009 at 10:06 PM
    #20
    derekabraham

    derekabraham Living vicariously through everybody

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    Dude, watch movies and steal ideas from them. Trust me, it works. :D
     
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