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An atheist in the woods

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by chris4x4, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. Jan 14, 2009 at 8:29 AM
    #1
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    An atheist was walking through the woods.



    'What majestic trees!

    'What powerful rivers!

    'What beautiful animals!

    He said to himself.





    As he was walking alongside the river,he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.





    He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.







    He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him..





    He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.





    He tripped & fell on the ground.





    He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.









    At that instant the Atheist cried out,



    'Oh my God!'



    Time Stopped.

    The bear froze.

    The forest was silent.





    As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.



    'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'



    'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?



    Am I to count you as a believer?



    The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?





    'Very well,' said the voice.





    The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:







    'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
     
  2. Jan 14, 2009 at 8:45 AM
    #2
    longbow

    longbow I see you now..................

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    HA HA, Now I like that one!!!:)
     
  3. Jan 14, 2009 at 8:51 AM
    #3
    jolayiv

    jolayiv Carolina Alliance

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    Good one!
     
  4. Jan 14, 2009 at 9:08 AM
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    Zombie Runner

    Zombie Runner Are these black helicopters for me?

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    haha thats rich
     
  5. Jan 14, 2009 at 9:09 AM
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    Bearskill

    Bearskill Well-Known Member

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    Lmao!!!!:d
     
  6. Jan 14, 2009 at 9:23 AM
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    Delmarva

    Delmarva Mayor of TW

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  7. Jan 14, 2009 at 9:25 AM
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    pittim

    pittim mittip

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  8. Jan 14, 2009 at 9:26 AM
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    neslerrah

    neslerrah Taco lovin'

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    hahaha. Thanks for the laugh.
     
  9. Jan 14, 2009 at 2:36 PM
    #9
    CheeseWithTaco

    CheeseWithTaco Well-Known Member

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    grrr...
    hahaha... bears are funny...:p
     
  10. Jan 14, 2009 at 2:51 PM
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    JAG

    JAG Well-Known Member

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    "Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears beat Battlestar Galatica." - The Office
     
  11. Jan 14, 2009 at 2:56 PM
    #11
    concrete jedi

    concrete jedi Well-Known Member

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  12. Jan 14, 2009 at 2:59 PM
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    SiRMarlon

    SiRMarlon The Photo Ninja!

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    Haha that was pretty good!
     
  13. Jan 15, 2009 at 9:53 AM
    #13
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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  14. Jan 15, 2009 at 11:38 AM
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    RCBS

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    HA! i thought i was in for some moral lesson or something. good one
     
  15. Jan 15, 2009 at 11:52 AM
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    brianr

    brianr go shit in your hat

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    BUILT, not bought...
    moral of the story;

    1. Everything is food for somethign else.

    OR

    2. Should always pack a sidearm, not matter what you are doing.
     
  16. Jan 15, 2009 at 12:19 PM
    #16
    TacoNut

    TacoNut IgnoringChrisWatchingEdLi veVicariouslyThroughMJP2

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    Which bear is best..... False, Black Bear.- The office
     
  17. Jan 15, 2009 at 12:25 PM
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    kristopherl

    kristopherl AKA: Jake the Wolf

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  18. Jan 15, 2009 at 2:51 PM
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    sonjay

    sonjay Well-Known Member

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    Do you really think your sidearm is going to bring down a grizzly? I guess you mean the bullet is for you, to end the pain before the bear can begin!!
     
  19. Jan 15, 2009 at 2:53 PM
    #19
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 [OP] With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    The bears in AZ arnt that big. My .44 mag will drop one easy. IF the shot is placed correctly.
     
  20. Jan 15, 2009 at 2:54 PM
    #20
    itsmyturn

    itsmyturn Well-Known Member

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    that was good, always remember to say grace:D
     
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