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...and thats how the fight started.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by montgomery_30824, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. Aug 30, 2009 at 8:11 AM
    #1
    montgomery_30824

    montgomery_30824 [OP] Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Member:
    #8111
    Messages:
    797
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Lee
    Guyton, Ga
    Vehicle:
    '06 prerunner 4dr
    K & N airfilter, custom built 10" sub boxes, pioneer head, mag-lite mod, Blue LED dash lights, custom painted engine cover, mud flap removal mod, alarm/remote start installed,
    got this in an e-mail the other day. thought i would share.

    One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
    > cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
    >
    > The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
    >
    > When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    >
    >
    > My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
    >
    > I replied "Dust".
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.......
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    >
    >
    > A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    >
    > She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    >
    > The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    >
    >
    > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
    > upcoming anniversary.. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds..
    >
    > I bought her a scale.
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    >
    >
    > I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
    >
    > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
    >
    > 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
    >
    > So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
    >
    > And that's when the fight started......
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    >
    >
    > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
    >
    > 'No,' she answered.
    >
    > I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
    >
    > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
    >
    > So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
    >
    > And that's when the fight started....
    >
    >
    > **************************************************
    > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Bud Light for $14.95.
    >
    > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95..
    >
    > I told her the beer would ma ke her look better at night than the cold cream.
    >
    > And that's when the fight started......
    >
    >
    > ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    >
    > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
    > reason, took my order first.
    >
    > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
    >
    > He said, 'Aren't you worried about the ma d cow?'
    >
    > 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
    >
    > And that's when the fight started......
    >
    >
    > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    >
    >
    > Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, had
    > some breakfast, and slipped quietly into the garage.
    >
    > With intentions of starting it in the street, I clicked the Harley into neutral, punched the garage door remote, and proceeded out into a torrential downpour.
    >
    > It was raining sideways since the wind was blowing 50 mph, so I backed her into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
    >
    > I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The
    > weather out there is terrible."
    >
    > My loving wife replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding in that?"
    >
    > And that is when the fight started...
    >
    >
    > __________________________________________________
    >
    >
    > A ma n and a wo ma n were asleep at 3:00 am like two innocent babies... Suddenly, a loud noise came from outside.
    >
    > The wo ma n, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the ma n, "That must be my husband!"
    >
    > So the ma n jumped out of the bed scared and jumped naked out the window.. He landed in a thorn bush, and then ran to his car as fast as he could go..
    >
    > A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the wo ma n, "I AM your husband!"
    >
    > The wo ma n yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
    >
    > And that's when the fight started....
    >
    >
    > ***************************************************
    >
    >
    > My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    >
    > 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those ma ny years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
    >
    > 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
    >
    > And that's how the fight started.....
    >
    >
    >
     
  2. Aug 30, 2009 at 8:18 AM
    #2
    98tacoma27

    98tacoma27 is gooder 'en chicken Moderator

    Joined:
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    05 Tundra SR5 (+250k AND COUNTING), 88 SR5 PU (SOLD), 98 TRD OR (CRUSHED)
    5100's all on fours
  3. Aug 30, 2009 at 8:19 AM
    #3
    rick

    rick `

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2007
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    #993
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