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Anyone have a vasectomy?

Discussion in 'Health' started by mdcmn7, Nov 4, 2013.

  1. Nov 4, 2013 at 5:36 PM
    #1
    mdcmn7

    mdcmn7 [OP] Well-Known Member

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    The Mrs and I decided its time for the snip. Just sheduled a vasectomy. Anyone gone through it before, any tips on what to expect?
     
  2. Nov 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM
    #2
    Boone

    Boone Vaginas are rad.

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    I'm doing the same sometime soon. A buddy of mine and an ex boss had it done, back to work the same day, just limited a bit physically. Seemed to be more psychological than physical to them.
     
  3. Nov 4, 2013 at 5:43 PM
    #3
    mdcmn7

    mdcmn7 [OP] Well-Known Member

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    That's the same thing I heard. I saw the doc today for the initial visit and he really made it out to seem like no big deal

    Gotta say the idea of someone cutting on my boys does freak me out
     
  4. Nov 4, 2013 at 5:44 PM
    #4
    Ct03si

    Ct03si Well-Known Member

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    I had one about 8 months ago after my wife and I had twins, it was an in and out procedure, they make you watch a silly video explaining it and than ask you if you really want to do this. the whole surgery took about 20 minutes, they numb you and do it all thru a tiny hole that was so small they didn't even close it up just added gauze and tape for a few days.
    it was done with lasers for the most part.
    I was a bit sore for about 4 days after, they tell you to take it really easy for 2 days and I second that. over all not bad at all, no adverse effects from it other than no more babies. it was a win in my book.
     
  5. Nov 4, 2013 at 5:50 PM
    #5
    LocoTaco

    LocoTaco Well-Known Member

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    No big deal, I had one done and ran the Honolulu marathon four days later.
     
  6. Nov 4, 2013 at 7:58 PM
    #6
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    Get local not general anesthesia.

    They're much more gentle when you're awake...
     
  7. Nov 5, 2013 at 3:31 AM
    #7
    mdcmn7

    mdcmn7 [OP] Well-Known Member

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    Glad to hear the good reviews
     
  8. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:37 AM
    #8
    okie

    okie Pick your poison

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    Had it done 3 yrs ago. Nothing to it, I was in & out back on the road in 30 ish min.

    Anticpation of the surgery is far worse than the actual procedure. (Imo anyway)

    Rest is the key & some sort of a frozen bag of something to put on yer balls.

    Yes I was sore, sore as hell to be honest. Yet only for a few days.

    No sperm = no more kids =:yay:
     
  9. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:54 AM
    #9
    skb7527

    skb7527 Political Correctness Sucks!

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    I got mine about about 11yrs ago and it was no big deal. The most important thing is to sit and do nothing for two days. It's all about icing your nuts and renting plenty of movies.
     
  10. Nov 5, 2013 at 5:05 AM
    #10
    NYNURSE

    NYNURSE Well-Known Member

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    The procedure is minimal. The freedom to fool around anytime, anywhere is priceless.
     
  11. Nov 5, 2013 at 5:07 AM
    #11
    maineah

    maineah Well-Known Member

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    Takes the fear out of being close.
     
  12. Nov 5, 2013 at 6:04 AM
    #12
    Mrogers33

    Mrogers33 The way is open, the time is now

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    I remember reading this excerpt pulled from craigslist, it is obviously over-dramatized but potentially realistic.


    What a Vasectomy is Really Like


    So I did it. Got the snip -- the tiny tubes terminated -- pinched off the old babybatter blaster -- you get the picture. While it was (as every man who has everhad it done at least one year prior will tell you) a very simple and quick procedure, I would not ever in good conscience tell another man considering itthat it was anything less than a miserable experience. Most guys (fellow blankshooters) I spoke with played it down and made it sound as easy and manly asgetting a few stitches after a bar brawl -- well I beg to differ. Although, allthe slice-snip-burn-sew blow by blow, step by step tales I was told were frighteningly similar -- and mine is no different:

    THEY TAPE YOUR DICK!!!- So after sitting slightly nervous and unquestionablycold in an ass-less gown for about 15 minutes -- periodically wiggling my pinkpal just to shake out the shrinkage all the while being mindful not go fullmast -- I mean who gets a hard-on in a cold doctor's office while waiting forsome dude to rip open your sack and jam some scissors in the hole? Not this weirdo -- Anyhoo, the doctor & nurse bust in like they were trying to catch me jerkin' it (I'm too quick handed to worry about that) and get to work. I layback, and ol' doc flips up the gown with the vigor and assuredness of a popular jock prom date -- pulls out and rips off about two feet of masking tape --grabs my cock -- stretches it past my belly button -- and tapes it quite securely to my abdomen. In hindsight I think it's so my Johnson didn't retractinto my pelvis as the pain, shame and discomfort slowly consumed me.

    MEATBALLS IN A HOLE- The next step in prepping for the procedure was a generous coat of peroxide lathering my thighs -- then came the covering. The doc held up a dishtowel sized heavy cloth with a 3-4 inch diameter hole, well stitched and reinforced with a canvas-like material (you know, so your balls don't tearthrough it like wet toilet paper when they figure out what's about to happen to them). My freshly shaved scrotum poked through and also received an incredibly cold peroxide dousing. He says "this might get a little uncomfortable" and begins kneading and emulsifying my scrotum between hisfingers looking for the right tube to terminate (there are a few on either side) and then came the needle. . .

    YOU FEEL EVERYTHING- "You're probably going to feel a sharp pain and a some burning, but then you should not feel any pain from here on" -- Now,it's not that he was lying, but it's really not that simple. Needles don't bug me and a Novocaine shot is really not that high on the pain scale -- so far so good. Then he cut into my scrotum using some Chinese method I got a pamphlet on, but didn't give a fuck enough to read about -- felt every bit of it, but it was not painful -- numb, but sensitive enough to know exactly what was happening down there without looking. He tears me open quite aggressively(still no pain, but discomfort was creeping in) and then the snip. ....Ooooohhhhhh the snip. I could write a 2000 adjective only essay on the sensation that shot through my lower abdomen and there is not a woman on this planet that could read it and have even a slightest inkling of what I experienced in that very moment, but it only takes four words to let a brother know -- Kicked In The Balls. Not the initial contact pain like when the foothits the ball or the balls slap the thigh or butthole, but the stomach ache fallout that follows. It's extreme nausea without the possibility of puking AND getting the wind knocked out of you without the breathing issue AND the coldsweats of a fever without the hot skin mixed with the sharp stinging sensation(and I'm assuming here) of being stabbed.

    This was the point where I made the decision not to look up and see what was going on -- let me explain: It was during the birth of our first child that I discovered something about myself that had not previously occurred to me --blood and gore does not phase me in person. I actually cringe sometimes when watching something particularly graphic in a movie or on TV, but when I peeked over the curtain while sitting beside my beautiful and insanely brave wife and(against the advice of the doctors and nurses in the room) peered directly intomy wife's open abdomen -- did not feel faint or woozy or even the slightest bit phased witnessing the c-section birth of our daughter (I think that I am one in a very small group of men that can truthfully say that my wife is indeed beautiful both inside and out). And again for my son's circumcision (it's not mutilation if it can actually help him get laid when he is of sound mind and consenting age) where I watched wide-eyed and unflinching as they pinned backand peeled off the extra skin of my infant's penis without so much as nose crinkle. It surprised me -- I felt slightly faint in anticipation both times,but not even a knee buckle once the gore was in view. Now, after all that chestpounding I will humbly admit that I was in no condition and harbored no desire to attain so much as a glimpse of what this sadistic prick was doing to the closest friends of my taped dong.

    EVER WONDER WHAT BURNT SCROTUM SMELLS LIKE?- I'm not totally sure exactly what was cauterized, but I smelled it. Didn't bug me -- it's the first thing every non-lethal sharpshooter out there told me about because it was so disturbing for them -- and because of that I was mentally prepared for it. It was weird though -- worth mentioning.

    THERE ARE TWO- I am well aware that I'm no genius and this may just be common sense to most men out there -- maybe it's because I never gave it very much thought -- but it is a two part procedure and that did not initially occur tome. Two places to numb, two holes to cut, two tubes to snip and remove (whichlook like two small sections of spaghetti noodles -- which my doctor pointed out when he showed me commenting, "hope you weren't planning on pasta for dinner tonight" -- worth the co-pay alone) because most men have. ..everybody now. . .two balls. Duh. This was both surprising and disappointing to me as the first one is no picnic and after the full frontal sense assault I was in no mood to go through it again, but it was actually a lot easier. This time I was already entirely numb and I could identify each tug and snip as landmarks along the shameful journey and I knew exactly how many more pokes and puffs of flesh smoke were left until I could get out of there and get a burrito.

    . . .AND THEN I PASSED OUT- Okay, procedure's over -- doc is gone -- nurse is gone -- and it quickly becomes (painfully) obvious that I did not shave above my penis as I rip the tape -- and my pubes -- off of my abdomen. That hurt, but detaching the tape from the loose skin of my now embarrassingly small and shriveled dick helped me to forget real quick. I was not in any pain, but I instinctively got dressed and walked out of the doctor's office (yes office --no surgical room) like a 90 year-old with osteoporosis after a 2000 mile donkeyride. I think my ego/pride/mojo was more injured than my balls. I was texting my supportive mate to come pick me up, but looked up to see her popping up froma waiting room chair -- mojo back -- posture back -- let's go eat! We carefully walked to the car and headed to the pharmacy to pick up my new best friend for the next two days. Driving along I gave my better half a quick and g-rated rundown of the procedure and about 4 miles out the car began to close in on me.The corners got dark and I warned my bride that I was going to go under for amoment and then the entire conversation we just had played back in my head at a much higher volume and furious pace -- the screaming in my mind gave way towhite noise and I came to slouched in my seat and looking over at an angelic, but severely concerned companion. If getting your balls fondled and shredded by another man doesn't fuck with your self-esteem, passing out like a little girl shortly thereafter kind of closes the deal. Feel free to make fun of me.



     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2013
  13. Nov 5, 2013 at 6:16 AM
    #13
    Lurkin

    Lurkin Well-Known Member

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    Just reinforcing what has been said, not a big deal, mostly in-your-head (no pun intended). Just stay relaxed and let 'em do their work. Afterwards, plan as much as possible to just sit around for the rest of the day. Books, mags, tablet, PC, TV, whatever and a couple of ice packs to keep on the boys for the night. After that take it easy for another day or two, and you'll be good. When they tell you loose fitting undies and clothes for a few days, listen.... I was just fine for the procedure, post procedire and a couple days later, then after that went to a kids party and went back to the normal undies and jeans,,, and paid the price, only actual pain I felt was then.
     
  14. Nov 5, 2013 at 8:57 AM
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    TACOlin

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    I'm 19 and this thread scares me.
     
  15. Nov 5, 2013 at 9:04 AM
    #15
    lowinhz

    lowinhz Well-Known Member

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    Get a bag of frozen peas.
     
  16. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:35 PM
    #16
    Fenwick1993

    Fenwick1993 Hillbilly

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    My dad had his done after the birth of my youngest brother- they decided five was enough. He was on the couch for two or three days, in almost constant pain. This was 15 years ago though, so I don't know how it is now.

    Freaks me out too. I'm not letting anyone get at my jank like that.
     
  17. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:44 PM
    #17
    MrGrimm

    MrGrimm Mall Crawler

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    I'm shooting blanks over here. It's easy. In and out. Hurts a little about a day later but I highly suggest getting the bag of peas. I was back to running and hiking 2 weeks later.
     
  18. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:52 PM
    #18
    Socalduckslayer

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    Odds and Ends
    BE SURE your Urologist is well versed in this procedure. Some doctors specialize in this and some others do it from time to time.
    I had one done several years ago and it did not go well. The procedure seemed to go well but shortly after I left the swelling was much more than I expected. I called the Dr office and she was gone for the day so I called the on call Dr, he was pretty pissed that I bothered him during his dinner and made that clear. He said if you cant handle it then go to the ER. I tried to tuff it out for a bit longer, by now my sack was about the size of a volleyball and starting to separate and bleed, I told my girlfriend it was time to go to the hospital. I walked to the bathroom and the pain got so bad I passed out and she called 911 and I got a ride to the hospital,
    Spent a little over a week in the hospital where all the nurses came to check constantly after every shift change to see the guy with the massive balls, I could overhear their conversations in the hall. The Urogolist at the hospital said it was the worst he had ever seen in over 30 years.
    They did an additional surgery to remove massive softball sized blood clots that were caused by a "nicked" artery that happened during the procedure. The blood spread from my knees to my neck, I was literally purple thru my entire mid section
    I spent the next few months on a massive dose of Oxy and tryin to kick that stuff is pure hell, I had no idea how much that garbage changes your body.
    When it was all said and done I ended up with over $12K in bills when all I was supposed to get was a $40 copay. Total bullshit

    Be sure your surgeon knows what they are doing
     
  19. Nov 5, 2013 at 4:53 PM
    #19
    Toyoda Tacoma

    Toyoda Tacoma Do or Do not there is no try.

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  20. Nov 5, 2013 at 5:06 PM
    #20
    azreb

    azreb Geezer

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    I did it 30+ years ago. The doc said to take a few days off and rest. I thought about it and decided I'd rather spend my vacation days doing something else, so I went to work. Besides walking carefully, I had no problems.
     
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