ASSHOLE PARKING

Just stumbled upon this thread and have a funny story lol. So last year, my then 17yr old son, who likes to Park like an ASSHOLE in the driveway (he thinks he owns the driveway , parked liked, well an ASSHOLE, so I had some fun w/ it

 

Asshole teenager friends in Bimmer parked wrong way and away from curb. Trash truck blowing horn for 5 minutes before kids parent came home and moved car on other side of street.

 

I don't have a problem parking like this to avoid getting door dinged. I parked exactly like this the other night at Chipotle (except my wheels were up on a curb where planter started.
Although I left extra space for the next person to park, when I came out a fucking idiot still parked inches from my passenger side door - luckily (for him) I didn't get dinged..

 

That's why I love having a beater for a daily; I can park just close enough to get out of my car without door-dinging them and not care if it happens back. I used to work as a pharm tech at walmart and would come out at the end of my shift to carts jammed into my car all the time, haha. Saw this one today at the grocery store, naturally his front end is in the next parking spot as well. City boys gotta have their F-350s for uh... something right?

 

What is it with Texans?!

 

No foul here. 5 spots 5 cars

 

Yeah, but what about us Californians?!?We were taught to stay between the lines!!

 

Then why can’t Californians do it?

I’ve been to Cali. I’ve seent things, man. Horrible, dreadful things.

 

Hey, Austin? So you could really have been driving one of these cars I saw today! I had to skip parking my taco on two seperate end spaces today at the Whole Foods Market on 6th street because everyone was parking like this! But I do have to say, had the drivers been outside, they probably would have apologized nicely about it for everyone I’ve met here have been really nice.

 

???

You got to get out more.

People aren’t nice here. Distracted, inattentive, texting, unskilled, unlicensed, uninsured, ignorant of the law, lacking in proper hygiene while overcultivating selected body hair (and it ain’t where you’d think it is) and way too attached to fried chicken donuts and Torchy’s Tacos.

And as you’ve seen they can’t park for shit either.





Now the Germans? Their parking is immaculate. It’s unreal. If it cost $3000 to get my license, I’d park better too.

 

Well, just got here last Saturday, maybe it has to grow on me a bit. Were outta here on Thursday, though. More parking to do before then. As for really bad parking, try Salt Lake on a Sunday around noon when the momo’s go out after church to get lunch!


By the way, Torchy’s menu does look good though... any other suggestions?

 

Wait wait wait... did you say fried chicken donuts? If that’s a thing please tell me where.

 

Been to SLC, and I agree 100%. Not just the momos, either - I think everyone gets out of church and heads to Target at the same time.

Torchy’s is good - my fave is the Trashy Trailer Park. Valentina’s food truck on Manchaca Rd has legit everything. Some of the best brisket around, and a local haunt.

Gourdoughs. https://gourdoughs.com/

If diabetes and high cholesterol joined forces, this would be their weapon of mass destruction.

 

Thanks! I’ll check out how bad the parking is around Valentinas- wanted to get some good brisket. Gourdoughs sounds good, too! Now as for fried food, where can I get fried twinkies?

 

Texas State Fair and Wurstfest, neither of which is happening right now. Otherwise I think there might be a food truck cooking up that particular culinary catastrophe but I have no idea where one might be. Possible the South Congress food trailer park, but they all tend to move around.

 

And you’ll definitely see asshole parking at Valentina’s. Most of the spots don’t have lines, so it’s a free-for-all.

 

Sam's in Pearl City seems to be a target rich environment for custom parking; this is Christmas Eve. Supersized van in 2 spots marked "compact."