Been a Rough 2025

I don't normally vent online, but 2025, particularly August, has been rough. I lost two brothers this month within a week. One passed on the 8th from organ failure and the other on the 14th due to cancer. Wife and I were primary caregivers for the brother with cancer, and we were with him through to the end - there when he took his last breath. Now, mom is fading. I think the news that she lost two sons in less than a week was just too much for her. She's 90, and tough, but everyone has limits and I think this just broke her heart. Trying hard to keep moving forward, but, as the saying goes, the struggle is real. Hard to come to grips with the fact that I am likely going to lose half my family this month. (Lost dad in 2015, so it's just been my 3 brothers and mom since then). At least I'll have one brother left. One take away, if you love someone and have not told them lately, take the time to tell them - better yet, show them by spending some time with them, because none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I am fortunate, I was able to say my goodbyes to my brothers, and am able to be here for mom. Can't imagine the regret if I had not been able to. Hold the ones you love close, and mend those fences if you can.

 

Sorry for your losses, condolences and prayers

 

My grandmother was in her 90s when my dad died. That took the life out of her. Not surprising it's affecting your mother, you're not supposed to bury your kids. Thinking the best for her. Keep your chin up...better days are around the corner.

 

That's a lot to take. You're an amazing person for caring for your family.

 

Wow, that's a whole lot to deal with at once! My condolences to you and your family! As mentioned above, that's very cool of you to have taken care of you brother.

 

sorry, def shitty part of the circle....

 

I feel your pain @docbrown - Going thru some family things myself.

I see my Mom getting less cognizant every day and I know when she dies it will destroy me. It’s like you get to the age where you can predict the order in which people will die. I hate it.

My grandpa pass just months after my grandma - I know his heart was broken. He couldn’t go on. I sympathize because for me personally I know I will suffer the same fate never having found my soulmate.

I send you my sympathy and know that TW is here for you. Stay strong.

Godspeed brother.

 

So sorry for your loss! I can relate, mine is over the last few years, lost my best friend, childhood friend, my kids called him Uncle Dan, lost two brothers, seven months apart, did my mom in, she passed in 2024, but she was 100. It was tough, was very close with one of my brothers that passed, also have one brother left, really feels like my family is about gone, only two of us left. Similar stories for sure, and you are 100% correct on spending time with family and friends, you never know, if anyone is in a family dispute, end it, not worth it, again, sorry you had to go through this, hang in brother!

 

Yeah, this whole being alive thing sucks, because there's only one way it's going to end.

My brother-in-law was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer. He had his bladder removed and now he's cancer-free. He is so happy to be cancer-free. I keep my mouth shut but I'm like "dude you're 84".

 

Thank you all for your kind words. Many of you have gone through similar and I am sure some have gone through worse. Not trying to push anything on anyone, but I find it encouraging to know that the Bible holds out a resurrection hope where we get back those we lost - in good health and the chance to never lose them again. It takes away some of the sting - but it still hurts.

 

Death visited me at an early age as my mom died when I was 12.

I don't fear death as much as I fear losing the ability to do for myself. I don't want to have to use a stroller, I don't want to be in a wheelchair, I don't want to live past the time that I can do the things that give me pleasure without someone helping me. I don't want someone to wipe my ass or put me to bed.

 

We're all a bunch of somewhat anonymous people with profile pictures, but still humans @docbrown feel free to lean on me if you need it via DM. Will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

Thanks. Getting a lot of support from our congregation and friends. But, I will keep that offer in my hip pocket! And that goes both ways. Feel free to reach out.

 

Had to be tough to lose your mom at 12. I am approaching 60, so have had my mom a long time by comparison.

I totally get not wanting to be helpless. I feel the same way. I don't want to be a burden to my family or lose my dignity, which is kind of hypocritical on my part because I do not view caring for my brother as a burden. Not saying it was easy, but he was my brother. When I was much younger, 4 or 5, he actually saved my life (literally). Grew up believing that is what family did for each other. Seems to be a foreign concept today, and maybe it's a little corny to some, but that is how we were raised. Still, I don't want my wife or kids (or anyone else) to have to give me that level of care. I mean, if it is for a short time and I'll get better, maybe, but if it only goes down hill, I'd rather take that long nap until I hear it's time to wake up.

 

He may be 84, but even as you get older, your mind still thinks it's young. Just be glad your sister is married to a "glass half full" kind of guy!

 

Try to find some outlets for yourself here and there. A hobby, a walk, a restaurant outing somewhere, tv show, ect. It helps to decompress.

 

So true. When we get back to the camper at night (We live in FL, but this is all going down in SC. A friend let us park a camper behind their house), we're re-watching Longmire at night, and have found a great little breakfast place that we go to periodically. Even so, I feel wound up like a spring. Don't think I'll really be able to process all of this fully until it's over and we can get home. It's surreal right now - has not fully sunk in.

 

Well, the nurses were right. Mom passed yesterday (Friday). To add insult to injury, we also lost a cousin. That's two brothers, my mom and a 1st cousin all in 3 weeks time. Spent yesterday finalizing her arrangements. Thankfully, she pre-paid/pre-arranged everything but opening and closing the vault. Went to see her Thursday night and felt like it was close. Planned on going back in the morning, but got the call at 7:30 that she was gone. On the one hand, glad she is not suffering anymore. On the other hand, my mom is gone. Times like these make you appreciate that eventually, this will all repeat for my children. One day, they will watch me deteriorate and die, and have the mixed emotions of being relieved I am not suffering, while the are sad I am gone. Thinking a little deeper, I think about the fact that here I am wrapped up in my feelings about the deaths of 4 people when God is aware of the anguish of everyone and their families in the world over EVERYONE who has died these last three weeks. Humbling to think we should have compassion for him, but there it is. Maybe you don't agree - and I don't judge you for it for sure - but it is good to realize it's not all about us.

 

Sorry for your loss, condolences.

 

May your brothers and mom be welcomed by the warm waiting embrace of your father. Godspeed.