Being a parent...How hard can it be?

I have 3. Daughter, and 2 sons, and a son by choice who came to live with us at 15. They are all grown and out of the house now. 16 years between the daughter and our oldest son. Wasn’t the plan, just how it worked out. If you count the ones we lost to miscarriage we have 7 but we’re blessed to have raised 3. I now treasure the memories of teaching them to work, to fish, and how to safely handle firearms. I often joke (though it is true) that I have literally earned every gray hair on my head. Whether from worry, stress, or the challenges each presented in learning how to be who they wanted to be. Along the way I’ve learned not to be a perfectionist, that mistakes are just an indicator that the method applied didn’t work so learn from it and try again. I’ve also learned that kids respond better to positive reinforcement than negative, and that there is nothing more fulfilling than see them apply the things that you’ve taught them, especially when you didn’t think they were listening. Couldn’t be more proud of them! Enjoy the journey, it’s worth every minute of it!

 

don't forget the Dad Humor, I think it's an evolutionary self-preservation technique

 

My son passed away in 2017. I think about him every day. When things get hectic , take a breath. It seems like no time before they are grown up.

 

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure it can not be easy.

 

We got one of each. Son is 18, daughter is 16. Both great kids and I wouldn’t change a thing, except…just kidding.


My wife and I were very fortunate, she had helped her mom run a preschool and daycare while growing up. I questioned what wife my father was on while growing up. This shaped the farther I became.

Couple years after we got married, we ended up working in a group home for teens at risk. We had experience in both girls and boys homes. This behavioral training and work, combined with my wife’s experience growing up, we had from age 5 to 18 covered, or so we thought.

Our goal has been to help our kids become better people than we are, to help them overcome the obvious deficiencies we have. To help them have fun and make the best of life. Everyday they continue on the journey of life, is a good day, even the WTF did you do days. No secrets, we have always been upfront with them, and it seems they are upfront with us.

a friend of ours just recently lost an older child, really makes you be thankful for what you have, I couldn’t image the pain. So, even though it’s an ever demanding chore that turns your head gray or bald, all the while sucking you wallet drier faster than you can pull the money from the ATM, ENJOY EVERY SECOND, it’s a privilege.



Oh, and being a parent is the hardest job, seriously I deal with tough kids all day long, but personal connection with your own makes it so much harder.

 

So sorry to hear this. Your wisdom is noted…I often wish that I had learned to breathe earlier in my parenting. I am so thankful that my children have chosen to extend grace and forgiveness for those times when I didn’t.

 

We have two boys. My oldest is about to go into high school and is as tall as I am. Yesterday he was in kindergarten. WTF?

I asked my wife a couple of years back if she'd like to try for a daughter, and she was aww hell no. I'm pretty good with that decision now. Two boys, four cats, and four dogs. Family is probably big enough already.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Prayers, my friend. Most of my bad dreams are about something happening to my kids. I can't imagine how it must feel.

 

Who here has had to deal with child protective services? Let's here your stories..... I now have 3 of them.

 

Kids are awesome! I would have started earlier if I’d known. Sure you have to raise your kids and not just watch them grow up. Good kids come from dilegent parents. Very few difficult kids are born that way.

 

Being old school doesn't work with the new Karen environment we live in

 

Once upon a time..... my wife's ex (Calle him douchey) had called the police and CPS on us saying he heard people yelling and hitting a young girl at our address... stating we were abusing our daughter.... It was all absolute lies but wtf... they send police to the home, and a social worker... and apparently have the right to come into the home with you unprepared.... they request you go take a drug test within 48 hours... or court... then the social worker needs to look into your cupboards and fridge to make sure you are not starving and neglecting the child... total boundary violation (although I do understand in real circumstances of abuse it is needed) I was livid about that a-hole causing trouble..... Any dipshit loser can make a call and they have to do an investigation into your private life to substantiate the claim (it cn be complicated when there are firearms in the home as well).... In the end it resulted in court and attorney fees but finally got the custody schedule clear (he didn't want any) and got a restraining order instead).... He pretty much abandoned them and moved to another state since she was 1 years old (now 19).... but caused a lot of distress over the years... To all you good parents who are protective Kudos! to you dead beats suckers... get it together or tag out

 

We have a 25-year-old son and 23-year-old daughter. Raising them was super fun and never felt like work. Wife of 33 years did a fantastic job.
Except, 25YO got into drugs...it's MJ only now but putting that into the equation throws all rules of parenting out the window...

25YO works well but lacks social companions.
23YO knock the hell out of college and is now applying to med schools.

 

i'm sorry. reading this made me cry.

i really cherish every moment with my son. i wouldnt trade it for any amount of "free time" or money. there is nothing like being a dad.

 

Eventually children of helicopter parents have to fly it alone, often with little or no skills…we see plenty of examples in the news.

 

Story 1....
I was out of town, drove to New Mexico because my mom passed away. I come home to cps, because apparently my son threw himself on to the floor screaming and hollering. "Don't hurt me". I was at the park with him having fun and got a text that I needed to bring him home. We had to strip him down naked to prove there is nothing going on. 2 days later LAPD shows up and my son is taking a nap. I have to wake him up and strip him down to his birthday suit to prove we are not beating him.

Story 2
My son is 8 and we went fishing. He took off on his scooter to the park area to play. I was checking on him about every hour. Hour 3, some bitch/ Karen at the park called the sheriff's department about an abandoned child. Keep in mind that I fished at this lake at least 2 days a week for about 3 years. All the rangers and park maintenance workers know us. One of the maintenance guys comes and gets me and tells Me i need to get to the park pronto. I get down there and I am met by 3 sheriff's officers. I am handcuffed and sat on the curb for about 2 hours. I am then lectured on how dangerous it is to leave my child unattended. So, i ask them when am i allowed to let my child roam free. Only to be told that leaving a child to do as they please is a "judgment call"... not illegal.
Cps shows up on my door because of the sheriff's , I ask cps the same question about when I am allowed to let him roam free. I get told, " well that is a judgment call" . Ok I made a judgment call and now you are all up in my ass. WTF! Get our of my house!

The latest most recent story.
I was talking with my son and I made a comment, "there is nothing more than I want to strangle you right now". I was asking him a serious question regarding life/school and he gave me a typical teenage answer. He took it as literally and went to the school therapist telling them what I said and he is scared of me. he needs to be more scared of his mom than me.

 

So glad I never had to go through situations like that. I hate it when other people think they know how to raise my kids better than I do. Especially when they probably treat theirs worse than I do.

 

When I was 7 years old, I got into an argument with my mom over getting dressed or something, and she went to grab me so I bolted and ran head first into a dresser. Got a good shiner on my face.

The next at day school we had show and tell, I forgot to bring something so naturally I decided to show off the giant lump on my forehead and black eye. Teacher asked what happened and I told her "my mom"

School called CPS and it took awhile for them to believe the misunderstanding lol.