Boo Hoo Me thread... Sorry in advance!

Updated on the next couple pages.

Ok, where to start. I rarely post on here, and today I having a pretty low day. So I figured I would let off some steam and just ramble. Here is my situation.. I am at a stage in my life...which is pretty low. Not suicidal or anything, because that’s just not something to joke with or throw around. Bottom line... I am pretty depressed. I am a pretty decent guy, average looking, take care of myself, good job, good family (Sister, nephews, mom).. but I just can't seem to get a lid on my life. Was engaged several years ago... she was cheating and found out before the wedding, thank god! I don't think I was really ready to marry her, I think I just figured it was the next step in my life.. So I am thankful that didn't work out, yet it left some scars. I don’t think I was the best boyfriend in that relationship.. but regardless, it was a mess in the end on both sides. Ok, so that’s done. Single… time to figure out who I am and what I wanted in life... Got my health in check. I wasn't fat, but wasn’t in the best of health. I was a serious lifter... but a bulky un-attractive one! HA!! So I decided to focus on my diet, exercise, pick up some new hobbies (running, biking, nutrition) This was a great phase in my life. I learned a lot about me and really gained some self confidence. At this time I was not looking, nor intended to find another girl. Well, obviously when your not looking, you will have the most success. I'll just cut to the chase. . .

I met this girl and we have been on and off for almost 4 years now. Once again, it has not been the easiest. We both have some issues, but my focus is on mine. She is an amazing woman and I truly am in love with her. I just can't figure out me. I seem to be the most difficult guy to date, yet I have the biggest heart. I am a 100% believer in loyalty, faith, trust. I come from a small town where everyone cheats on their wives, nobody respects their significant others and it truly makes me want to be a better man. Yet, I suck in the relationship department. Not the jealous type, cook, clean, pretty much help out with everything I possibly can. I really want to be the best man I can for my girlfriend/wife/kids(when that happens) So this sucks!

Also, I feel I am holding myself back with my job and what not. I want to get out of this place soo bad, but with today’s times I can't just ditch my job and run. My friends are really not my friends. (I have 2 that I really trust) and I just need a new environment....

I really see some serious friendships develop on these forums, and I think I need to meet some new people. I have a 2005 Tacoma TRD that is lifted, minor mods... and I would love to start attending some meets and meeting some new people. I feel it will help me with ME tremendously. I live in North East Ohio.. but am willing to take some small road trips.

Feel free to either give me some advice, ask me some questions because I need a place to ramble in... If your going to be sarcastic.. I will just skip over your post, it's cool.

Sorry if this was a complete ramble mess.. .. .. Just needed to vent.

 

Hope things get better for you man. Just keep your head up and things will turn around.

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking.

 

Thanks bro. Don't mind at all... 32

 

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What do you mean by that?

 

good luck with everything dude, I wish i could go to some of the meets also, ive made good friends on TW

 

what line of work are you in? where are you looking to go? Sometimes you gotta roll the dice my friend.

 

Man . . . . you're screwed. Just kidding. I wouldn't for one second think that you were the only guy (person) feeling like that. Have you considered counseling of some sort? I thought I needed counseling in the past during a tough time. I never got around to it out of embarrassemnt I think but I'm sure it's going to be in my future at some point.

 

I hear ya man! And I wish you the absolute best. But you can ALWAYS get away if you choose. For example, a friend of mine from my hometown recently got sick of doing the norm day to day. So, he saved up some cash. Packed what he needed, and went on a cross country road trip by himself. He decided that once he's done with his trip, he'll settle down in a city that he once visited, just happens to be Phoenix.

Honestly, I've been through the engagement bc you think its the next step. Luckily, we ended it before making a bigger mistake and following through. Since then, I've had one semi serious relationship. I just recently broke that off. Being by myself has been the most incredible thing I could have possibly done. Picked up a few new hobbies, scuba diving and off shore fishing which has introduced me to a ton of new people with common interests. Mind you, I just recently moved to this town.

I've heard Ohio could be a dead end place in some cases (no offense to those that live there). IMO, save up some money, and pick a place you always thought you might want to live. Do some research for jobs and throw out a couple resumes before you get there. You'll be amazed how much fun you can by yourself and doing things without knowing the end results. Life's an adventure, its time to experience that!

 

Hang on, gut it out and life will get better. I look back to where I was at your age and where I am now and I couldn't have ever predicted that I would be married, have a great kid, own a couple of homes, make great money and all in all I'm a pretty sucessful guy but in my early 30's I had a shitty job, lived in a crappy apartment and barely got by. Life changes, opportunities present themselves. It gets better. Just take care of your girlfriend. Hang out with your good friends and stay out of trouble and good things will happen for you.

 

Dam.. That's a lot of positive responses in a quick time period!! I will respond to individual posts.. Just wanted to say thanks in advance!

 

Dude, just hang on and things will get better. Life is full of valleys that we have to walk out of.
Stay strong!! Have you ever thought about the military?
Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

i know exactly what youre talkin bout, im goin through one of those times too.

best advise ive had was from my dad, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, thats why its called the present

he stole it from kung fu panda i know lol

he also told me to go to sonic and get a slush


basicly, you will be able to rough it out, just calm down and enjoy the little things until it gets easier

 

Good advice bro!

 

I just don't think I truly know who I am... Hard to explain..

I am a teacher and coach. Which is sad. I have had tremendous success with my teams. I'm a great motivator, my teams have done some amazing school historic things and my girls have thanked me for years for all my advice and help in their lives... And I can't even help myself. If I could just abandon my teams... The dice would have been rolled...

sounds exactly like what I need to do.., sounds awesome!

the girl and I broke up... Forgot to mention that... That's what's triggering all this. Your post makes me feel better though... Cause your 30's describes mine!!

thanks!

 

Life hits you hard sometimes, just keep your head up and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

 

are you too good of a guy? i know that sounds weird but my cousin sounds alot like you. he has the biggest heart in the world, he's generous, loves to work on his house, cook, clean, he's a firefighter with two jobs, attractive, in really good shape, but has issues with the ladies. he's the kind of guy who is so nice he's a pushover. a few weeks ago he was at the house and i saw him put a $20 in his wallet. i make a good bit more than him so i jokingly told him i wanted it. he hands it to me. i told him i was just kidding and he goes "seriously, if you need it its yours" and he didn't have a hint of sarcasm or anything like that in his voice. my point is, he's too nice. you know why they always say good guys finish last? because for the most part its true. not all girls are looking for a "bad boy" or an asshole but no girl wants a push over. being nice is great but you need to know the line between being a good sweet bf and being a complete pushover. i am by no means advocating being a dick to girls, cause i think thats childish and stupid, but you dont always have to be perfect. that was my question regarding this new girl of yours. as for the other issues, it sounds like you just need a change of pace. i wish i could help you out there but i can't, i'm in the same boat.

 

I know what you mean. I sometimes feel like I need more in my life. I feel like I need to accomplish more or some more excitement. I'm a medic and I used to work with an EMS service and I loved it. Now I work in a hospital and even though I work in an ER it's not even close to being as exciting. EMS was way different and I liked being in control of the situation instead of having to listen to what a doctor wants. Maybe I should just go back to EMS, however the hospital schedule is a lot nicer. I just don't know what to do and I know how you feel. I guess I felt like venting a little to.

 

maybe you should try counceling, I did it after I got divorced and it helped me a lot. Its a person that doesn't know any of your family or friends and give you a professional opinion. They have probably heard the same stories a few times becuase that how people are, if its happening to you its most likely happened to someone else. they might be able to give you some thing to work on about yourself that you wouldn't think to do. something things might be stupid things that you say...duh why didn't I think of that!! Don't be embarrassed to go, be proud to go and be able to face things that hurt you and want to make yourself a better person.

Maybe find some new hobbies that you have always thought about doing and never tried. The gym is a good place to meet new people that have similar interestes. BUT there are some wierdos there too so beware.

good luck!!

 

I know where you are comin from, I think we all get down sometimes from the frustrations of life, some of us (including myself) have a harder time than others dealing with those dark feeling that creep into our lives. The best advice I can give you is talk to someone be it a counselor or a good friend you trust, its amazing how much better you feel after telling someone who wont judge you how you feel. As someone mentioned before don't let embarresment stop you from seeking help I did for a long time & suffered in silence, I regret that everyday for the pain I put my family & friends through all because my pride would not let me admit I couldn't handle something on my own. In closing good luck & talk to someone, everybodys got problems you are not the only one even if it feels like it sometimes.

 

hey man. I kinda know what your talking about. Where about in OH are you? check out the Midwest forum here. we get together fairly often and head down to one of the member's (MAXTAcoma) farm.

about the lady situation... if you are having troubles... i would say get rid of her. honestly, if its been on and off for 4 years... its never going to work. i did the on and off thing for 2 years and finally got out of it, and have been soooo much happier since. for some reason, the OH chicks are pain in the asses (most of them at least). I have been having the hardest time finding a chick that actually wants a relationship and not to fuck me over or use me for my money. dont know what it is.

Best of luck to you though man! check out the midwest forum, really good guys. I think they are planning a meet down at the farm in July.