Canada BS Thread

That's disrespectful to all the Canadian soldiers that are fighting for Canadian and American freedom

 

Just put my winter tires on. Can't believe the difference in appearance going from a P to a LT even in a 245/75/16. Loving it. Next tires will have to be 265/75 or 235/85 in an LT.

 

Canada


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of
the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be
its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia
groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a
beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour
will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada .
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo A*#!%!"

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get
drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got
the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at
night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your
wedding.

Pass this along to Canadians who need a laugh and foreigners who can
learn something about Canada and then enjoy a good chuckle.

Let's face it: Canadians are a rare breed.

The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
· Californians shiver uncontrollably.
· Canadians plant gardens.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
· Italian Cars won't start
· Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0° C)
· American water freezes
· Canadian water gets thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
· New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
· Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
· Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
· Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-109.9° Fahrenheit (-78.5° C)
· Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
· Canadians pull down their earflaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
· Ethyl alcohol freezes.
· Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg

-459.67° Fahrenheit (-273.15° C)
· Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
· Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
· Hell freezes over.
· The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

 

The New Brunswick one wasn't as funny as I had hoped. I have friends in Alberta that have a 500 000 dollar house that would be like 150 000 or so here so we aren't poor just our shit doesn't cost as much.

 

Well said and believe me when i say that the separatists in this province are a minority.

Their movement is loosing ground and the only reason the Parti Quebecois gained popularity and seats in the last election is because Quebecers were tired of the scandals surroundind the Liberal Party.

 

a $400,000.00 home in Toronto would be a dump...

 

You can just buy a bare lot where I live for $400K

 

You guys get paid better there though, my friend knows that you can get a job at a superstore making 20 bucks an hour. I don't want to know what I would be making out there.

 

Maybe out West, not in Ontario.

 

Ya , no

 

your friend is wrong. my 17 year old cousin works at the superstore here, he makes $13/hr.

 

Why is my friend wrong?

 

Because you cant make $20.00 an hr working at a super store...?

Edit: Just looked it up for Ontario, they start @ 10.50 an hour.

 

wages in my city are basically the same as in Edmonton, superstore does not pay their employees $20/hr.

 

I don't know what they were doing at superstore but I assume that's too little for a manager, maybe my friend knew someone that has been there for a while I'm not sure but it was 20 bucks an hour

 

Perhaps in the pharmacy?? I am not sure

 

Bingo

 

Probably not manager.. I remember when my brother worked @ chapters, his manager made $1.80 more an hour than him.

 

They make 16~/hr here I think