Colorado B.S. Thread

That was comedy gold, thanks for this.

 

That yellow snow is skunk spray.
You'll excuse me for a bit while I go vomit.

 

Ok... I'm not a gun guy, I admit it.

But you shot a 15 lbs animal 6 times with a 22 pistol. Then three times with a fukken shotgun and then it finally died?

This isn't a good argument for "home defense."

 

That cable probably took 5 rounds of .22 and an errant slicing blow from a shovel.

Can't wait to hear you explain this one to the Xfinity tech....

 

Yeah, never bring a skunked dog into the house.

Congrats on your impeding sale of your house and purchase of a new one.

 

this pic is impressive on so many levels.

 

Based on previous experience, I'm guessing that the 22s just went clean through him without hitting vitals. The shotgun shells were either birdshot or target loads. I didn't have the luxury of hunting around for the appropriate ”invincible skunk" loads.

 

I don't even know where to begin...

 

I think I saw this scene at the end of a movie

 

Maybe I can sell it to someone with Covid. Isn't that supposed to jack up your sense of smell?

 

Next time a skunk walks across your property:

 

Yeah it's been three weeks and my daughter doesn't have a lick of smell or taste. I keep asking her, "wtf you eating the ice cream then?"

 

Is this Cole's new instafaceyspace profile picture?

 

I had Mugsy less than two weeks. Decided to take him for a quick walk at 11:30pm.

15 feet from my house a skunk jumps out of a bush next to the sidewalk directly in front of him. Scares the shit out of him so he instinctively grabs it and gives it the death shake. He gets face blasted with ass oil at point blank range. It shellacks the lower half of my body. I'm dry heaving.

I get him to the back yard. I strip naked. Put on the garage cloths. Drive to King Soopers to buy vinegar, baking soda and peroxide. (they must have loved the smell of me in the store)

Flash forward to 1:30am and I'm done cleaning him off in the back yard.

Flash forward 3 months and the poor bastard's face is finally healed, scab free and the brown finally came back in his nose and lips.

 

Give him all the treats!!!

 

He decided a couple of months ago that he should grow a mullet. I don't have the slightest idea why he's shirtless.
I feel like somehow, his entire life has been leading up to that picture.

 

What's that stuff in the movies that the crime scene investigators smear under their nose?

I need some of that.

 

I had some orphaned baby skunks under the front porch on my property a few years ago. Someone probably killed the momma with a pistol. Or maybe a shotgun. Had to be a shovel. Because skunks are terrifying.
I put plywood at the fence so they couldn’t get in the back yard and have problems with the dogs. I was relieved to get that done. I turned around to go back inside and Jasper dog is nose-to-nose with baby skunk.


I got it to go back under the fence then called a humane wildlife rescue group. A guy came out and took the three babies away to be relocated. Life goes on.

 

Skunks and raccoons I tell ya. They just. don't. die.

I also now know to call @teamhypoxia 's pest control service if I ever need an excuse to justify routing new fiber cable to my house.