Corrupt a wish...

granted but now its nyquil and you fall asleep before you enjoy it.

i wish i would have taken the whole day off tomorrow instead of only 4 hours!

 

granted, but while you are at home instead of work you get a knock at the door. its randy the rape bear... guess what he wants

i wish i got rescued from teh island cause i fucking hate the heat

 

^^ granted but the first but you get rescued by a gay bdsm cruise ship with no stops for 6 months.

i wish randy picked the next house tomorrow!

 

granted, randy rapes your next door neighbor tomorrow

i wish i could go to therapy to be hypnotized into forgetting that horrible horrible 6 month gay cruise

 

Granted, you are now hypnotized into remembering that wonderful and too short (pun intended) 6 month gay cruise.

I wish I didn't fart so much

 

granted, you explode from the pressure

I wish i could freeze time

 

granted, but you've frozen yourself in it too

i wish i had a LT kit on my truck

 

granted, but you are now officially one of those douches that has more money than sense and has long travel with absolutely no need for it

i wish my truck was paid off

 

granted.....but. your truck blows up in a freak raccoon accident

i wish i wasnt so dashingly handsome

 

Granted, no change needed

i wish i had my banning powers already.....

 

granted. you accidentally ban yourself forever

i wish connor wasnt trying to be you

 

Granted, but connor starts boning you instead
I wish for no wishes for anyone

 

Granted, but anyone just died

I wish I didn't have headphones on right now

 

granted, but they turn into bears and eat you.

I wish it was summer already.

 

Granted, but it's 160 degrees all summer
I wish for an extra 3 inches in penis length.

 

Granted, I missheard you and you now have a 3" pianist

I wish for more flavored goldfish

 

Granted, but they only want you to clean their toilets bc they are models for fiber ads.

I wish for it to not rain today

 

not granted. thats just stupid

I wish my dog wasnt such a pimp

 

Granted, but they all have numerous STD's.

I wish I had two weiners. lol

 

Granted, now you use both of them on Jake

I wish jakes truck was convertable and it rained all day on him since his top is broke