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Cramming for a blood test

Discussion in 'Health' started by lsocoee, Oct 29, 2009.

  1. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:22 AM
    #1
    lsocoee

    lsocoee [OP] My hair is all natural Moderator

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    I'm getting life insurance and they are going to come steal my blood in a week to check me out. I had blood work done a few months ago and everything came back within the expected ranges, but I'd like to make my blood work look good.

    I already eat plenty of fiber and drink lots of water. Are there any other ways to quickly get my blood to look good? And don't give me any of that "eat right and exercise" nonsense :p

    Of course, my current plan will be to go on a low sodium, low fat diet for the next week and daily exercise, but does anyone have any new info or recommendations?
     
  2. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:23 AM
    #2
    Incognito

    Incognito μολὼν λαβέ

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    Stay away from starches like potatoes, corn, etc. My Grandpa is on dialysis and this is one of his procedures when he has bloodwork in the coming week. Good luck!
     
  3. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:32 AM
    #3
    EquinsuOcha

    EquinsuOcha Bourbon

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    Eat raisins. But not the whole raisin, just the skins. Oh, and not raw, you have to steam them.
     
  4. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:34 AM
    #4
    311offroad

    311offroad Stock Taco For Now

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    Good luck, I don't really have any advise but I just went through the same thing. It ended up when they got the bloodwork back that they actually DROPPED my insurence even cheaper. The nurse was asking if I was a runner HAHA. For the past 6 years all I have done is east fast food and drink alcohol in college. Guess I just got them good genes :D
     
  5. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM
    #5
    mjp2

    mjp2 Living vicariously though myself Moderator

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    There you go! Just eat fast food and drink plenty of alcohol and you're set! :thumbsup:
     
  6. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM
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    311offroad

    311offroad Stock Taco For Now

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  7. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM
    #7
    gupster88

    gupster88 Well-Known Member

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    dont eat about 10-12 hours before the blood work, that way you hdl, ldl, and tryglyceride counts will be good. i made the mistake of eating a brownie about 6 hours before the blood test i had and my try. count was 288 and they want it below 150. the lady told me to fast 10-12 hours next time to get a good count of everything. exercise and eating some good veggies and fruit will bring you hdl count up.
     
  8. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:41 AM
    #8
    EquinsuOcha

    EquinsuOcha Bourbon

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    You could always make smoothies! You'll need 7,237 raisin cores, 3 cups of ice, and a cup of seltzer water.
     
  9. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:44 AM
    #9
    TimberT

    TimberT Timberlicious

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    Omega 3's will help your HDL. Alchohol (in moderation) will actually help your HDL as well but can cause problems with your liver/kidney function indicators. I'd stay away from red meat for a few days as well (can also alter your liver/kidney function indicators).
     
  10. Oct 29, 2009 at 11:56 AM
    #10
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    Bingo! Dont forget Drugs....LOTS of drugs....pills......needles.....whtever. Ask TacoNut...Hes a Hippy, he could hook you up.
     
  11. Oct 29, 2009 at 2:10 PM
    #11
    lsocoee

    lsocoee [OP] My hair is all natural Moderator

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    yeah, I'm going to go very low carb for the next week.

    You want to come over and peel the skins for me?

    I like your method.

    That's the way it seems to me.

    OK, I'll fast for 24 hours and be really prepared.

    I'm going to use the destructive method for removing the raisin cores

    how many raisin skins should I eat hourly?

    On an ongoing basis, I agree, but I don't know if it will help in a week. Worth a shot though.

    any particular drugs I should be looking into?
     
  12. Oct 29, 2009 at 2:14 PM
    #12
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    meth or crack
     
  13. Oct 29, 2009 at 3:12 PM
    #13
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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    I dunno....Whatever you have in your cabinet. And maybe find a guy on the street. If the company finds them in your system...they will realize that, being as you already have them in you, it will save them money as they wont have to pay for them down the line. OR....they may think your gonna die in a month, therefore, give you super duper low rate...??
     
  14. Oct 29, 2009 at 3:40 PM
    #14
    Gsquare

    Gsquare The G stands for smooth

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    If you consume alcohol regularly, Milk Thistle. Pop 3 caps a day for a few days (a week is better) before the test. Helps get your liver panel numbers in order. Works and is good for you.
     
  15. Oct 29, 2009 at 4:00 PM
    #15
    Brunes

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    Eat some sponges or that oil litter to soak up the extra crap in your system.
     
  16. Oct 29, 2009 at 4:01 PM
    #16
    JimBeam

    JimBeam BECAUSE INTERNETS!! Moderator

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    im thinking that you should probably go on and chug some exlax or something too

    just in case
     
  17. Oct 29, 2009 at 4:06 PM
    #17
    01tacoprerunner

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    Tigerfan is right chug a few bottles just in case one doesnt do it
     
  18. Oct 30, 2009 at 1:10 AM
    #18
    FoxySandChick

    FoxySandChick Well-Known Member

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    hmmm.....maybe do one of those full body cleanse things over your weekend

    :poking:
     
  19. Oct 30, 2009 at 9:08 AM
    #19
    EquinsuOcha

    EquinsuOcha Bourbon

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    I'm pretty sure the machine Billy Mays invented to skin raisins is what killed him. You notice there were no pictures of his funeral released? That's because he looked like he gazed upon the Ark of the Covenant. That raisin peeler sure was revolutionary though...

    It's not hourly that you need to worry about, it's minute...ly. You need to eat 3.7 every 12 minutes.
     
  20. Oct 30, 2009 at 9:20 AM
    #20
    rutherk1

    rutherk1 ElPhantasmo&TheChickenRunBlastarama

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    I don't understand. You want the blood to reveal any problems caused by your normal lifestyle. "Cramming" for it the week before may give you results that aren't a good reflection of your health.

    Or are you on drugs and you don't want that to show up?

    Remember. Anything but THC will be out of your body in a matter of a day or hours.

    You can be drunk and on 7 hits of acid and pass a drug test.
     
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