Dick's Dank Yank Wank Tank

OP...



(not really I just wanted to use that)

 

Repost, I know because I used it.

Plus, thats false, this thread never had any direction. It is basically a super ball. You never know where it is going to go next.

 

So learned late yesterday that the contract to sell the old house fell apart over an appraisal fuck up on the buyer's behalf. After we extended the escrow period so they could unfuck themselves. Putting it back on the market today. Fucking shit.

The day was topped off by this: I threw the wall switch for the ceiling fan/light in the new houses office. Loud pops and flashes, sparks raining onto the floor, as the lights dimmed in other rooms. I guess I get to call the home warranty company for like the sixth fucking time. I'll also have them check the GFCI that keeps popping in the kitchen for no apparent reason. I hope it is just the outlet itself. I hope to god.

Oh yeah, and I need to get the drywall guy in now to fix the dryer vent contractor's fuck ups. After than I can put the garage cabinets back out of the way.

Truck? What truck? It's not broken.

Waiting on the last piece for my RAM mount, the phone holder @DVexile recommended. I am using the phone a lot on my longer commute, switching back and forth between maps and Pandora stuff to keep the kid amused and myself sane. I am actually developing a nuanced appreciation for different arrangements of "Wheels on the Bus." The console mount I got as an interim measure is nice for when you are stopped or don't need to look at the device a lot, but it is way too far down in the cockpit when cruising at 75 and you come up on some shitbird in the HOV lane crawling at 60 with 5 cars stuck behind him, and everyone passing him on the right.

Fucking people.

Fucking everything.

 

@ChadsPride why haven't you liked this yet, you shitbird?

 

OP updated ​

 

I was too busy reading your short stories for once, I feel like I know you now.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY

 

Nothing will infuriate me more than an asshat in the left lane going slower than a fucking Amish hose and carriage. Happened to me this morning. I was cruising along doing about 90 in the left lane passing mother fuckers thinking I am making great time, when the car in front of me got huge real quick. Fucker was doing 45 mph in the left god damn lane on I95. It's got a 70 mph limit!!!!! I called the state troopers, 911 said a unit was about a mile down the road so I hung back. They pulled her over FTMFW!!!

 

The @scocar on the bus goes fuckit, fuckit, fuckit... fuckit, fuckit, fuckit... fuckit, fuckit, fuckit. The @scocar on the bus goes fuckit, fuckit, fuckit, allllllllll through the town.

 

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