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Divorce Agreement

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by LonghornTaco, Mar 5, 2009.

  1. Mar 5, 2009 at 12:36 PM
    #1
    LonghornTaco

    LonghornTaco [OP] Can you pass the bailout please?

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    *DIVORCE AGREEMENT*



    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.
    I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

    Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!

    Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

    We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

    We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

    You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

    We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.

    You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

    We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

    You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.


    We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

    We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.

    Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

    Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.


    In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years..


    Sincerely,

    John J. Wall
    Law Student and an American

    P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
     
  2. Mar 5, 2009 at 12:41 PM
    #2
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    I honestly don't get why people would want health care as a luxury and not a right.
     
  3. Mar 5, 2009 at 12:43 PM
    #3
    LonghornTaco

    LonghornTaco [OP] Can you pass the bailout please?

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    Yeah... I don't know that I consider health care a luxury, but it sure's hell ain't a right!
     
  4. Mar 5, 2009 at 12:55 PM
    #4
    goofyboy

    goofyboy Longhorn.

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    it is a luxury. Not everyone gets to live forever. There are millions starving around the world. To them, food is a luxury. Medical care, especially in the US is a luxury and unless we want the level of care to go down, it needs to stay that way.
     
  5. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:02 PM
    #5
    garage_monkey

    garage_monkey You're dumber than stupid.

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    What's wrong with using Biodiesel to curb our thirst for foreign oil?


    You can have that dumb BITCH!


    I'm pretty sure that Iraq wasn't a threat to us and we still invaded that shit hole.

    WOW. Some hot ass democrat chick must have just ripped this poor kid's heart out and stomped on it, somebody give that guy a beer or a doobie to calm him down.
     
  6. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:08 PM
    #6
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    Provided you're a citizen of that country I believe it should be a right. If not here's your bill or otherwise let travelers insurance take care of it.

    I hazard to ask you to point out someone who does?
     
  7. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:12 PM
    #7
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    biodeisel is a short term problem that in the end is worse for the environment and also drives up food prices. whats the point of cheap gas if doritos cost $10 a bag. foreign countries with little or no environmental regulation are clearing out thousands of miles of rain forest to plant soy beans and other biodeisel plants, which in return means more greenhouse gas's not to mention clearing away wildlife homes. in addition, it is not as efficient as traditional fuel.
     
  8. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:16 PM
    #8
    luk8272

    luk8272 Poodoo

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    Love it! Thanks for posting.
     
  9. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:21 PM
    #9
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    It should not be a right. But here's what gets me. American citizens can get free health care. it may not be great but its better than nothing. if you are unemployed or broke, you can go to a free clinic. its not a pleasant experience but they WONT let you die and sit back and do nothing. if you go to a hospital they will hound you if you are uninsured but they legally cannot let you die and refuse treatment.

    as harsh as it sounds, medicine is a business. in order to grow, it needs money. real money, not government funding. America is responsible for a huge number of major medical advances (surgeries, pills, procedures etc...) this is because the "evil" drug companies put their profits into future research and development. as a result, they grow. then they use the profits they made for more research. then they grow. then they do it again. yes its expensive but if healthcare is nationalized cost will go down, profits will drop, research will be cut and all the amazing cures and treatments will continue to be developed, but at a slower rate.
     
  10. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:24 PM
    #10
    garage_monkey

    garage_monkey You're dumber than stupid.

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    So what if we use a non-food crop as a source for the virgin oil needed to produce Biodiesel? this will allow farmers to still grow food crops and will not drive up the price of a bag of Dorito's.
    As far as what other countries are doing we cannot regulate that, we can only take care of the country that we live in.

    And i beg to differ that biodiesel is less efficient than petroleum diesel. It is NOT if anything it has the same efficiency as petroleum and it lubes the cylinders better as well, which gives the engine a longer life.
    Now Ethanol is a whole different story, this fuel is less efficient and is also hard on your engine. That is why the auto industry backs E85 vehicles, becuase the sooner an engine wears out the sooner you have to buy a new one
     
  11. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:28 PM
    #11
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    It's funny. Free healthcare works here in moose land. Sometimes I wonder where your taxes go. We had less people to provide for but less people to tax. Could be why places with higher taxation have higher standards of living for their citizens. Not to bash the states, I'm just saying.
     
  12. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:32 PM
    #12
    OU812

    OU812 ban the term murdered out

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    Why is divorce so expensive?? Cause it's worth every penny. :D
     
  13. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:34 PM
    #13
    LonghornTaco

    LonghornTaco [OP] Can you pass the bailout please?

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    hehe... Only cost me about $250. Just had to file the paperwork... :bananadance:
     
  14. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:41 PM
    #14
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    I'm sorry you're right, i was thinking of ethanol when i brought up the efficiency point, i stand corrected about that.

    as far as non-food product crops are concerned.... its a good idea in theory to give farmers more crops, but balance is key. If whatever plant they decide to use becomes more profitable than say, corn, wheat, whatever, then farmers will naturally opt to grow the more profitable plant, meaning less farmers will grow food. this will drive up the cost of all food products.

    as for other countries, you're right, we cant dictate what they do. but from an environmental standpoint, its a bad idea to encourage poor countries to destroy their environment for a crop that will no longer be needed in teh next few decades. then they are back to being poor, no usable resources, and of no use to the rest of the world (which means they get swept under the rug)

    I think bio is a great alternative for private citizens and individuals, but i dont want to see the government step in. we all know what happens when they do that

    yeah, i wonder where our taxes go too.....

    there's no doubt that it can work. but is it best for everyone? yeah its great for those who have no insurance right now (i've been in that boat and it sucks) but overall it is less productive. like i said, look at the medical breakthroughs that come from America compared to Canada. believe it or not i'm actually not trying to bash canada right now but i'm serious. America is one of the leading countries in the world when it comes to medical technology. why? because doctors and hospitals charge out the ass for services and pill companies make you sell a kidney to get name brand pills. it sucks but thats how they pay for all the continued research.
     
  15. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:46 PM
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    OU812

    OU812 ban the term murdered out

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    Mine cost much more but was well worth it :D
     
  16. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:47 PM
    #16
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    Doesn't most of the research actually come from not paying college and university students to do the work for their thesis on pharmacology and microbiology? :p

    And have a little readie of this.

    I will consent though that America through blatant disregard of human life charges far too much for prescriptions which enable them to funnel more money into other R and D.
    But really, any company in any part of the world is like that. :(
     
  17. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:47 PM
    #17
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    it's not an "end all" solution, but if you really want to drive down healthcare costs, stop allowing everyone to sue any doctor or hospital over every little thing. if a doctor amputates a leg when he's suppose to remove your appendix, then of course, sue the shit of him. but if you 99 year old grandmother is admitted from a car accident with a pipe through her head, dont take the hospital to court for 5 million in damages. the medical insurance that doctors and hospitals have is THROUGH THE ROOF. depending on your specialty its worse for others. i knew an anesthesiologist that was self employed and was paying close to 70k a year in insurance. most complications in simple surgery is from anesthesia so insuring the guy that administers it is extremely expensive
     
  18. Mar 5, 2009 at 1:50 PM
    #18
    nd

    nd Radical Town. It's a hell of a place!

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    yes, any company in any part of the world is like that. but tahts why i said medicine is a business. most people just dont like to admit that because it sounds so cold and harsh
     
  19. Mar 5, 2009 at 2:14 PM
    #19
    Packman73

    Packman73 ^^^^ 3%er ^^^^

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  20. Mar 5, 2009 at 2:38 PM
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    bobwilson1977

    bobwilson1977 Well-Known Member

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