finding out if wife cheating on me - story

Two words:
COMMUNICATION
TRUST
Work it out before it grow too big - what if you (and the neighbor) are wrong and you mess up a good marriage because of a misunderstanding?

 

how can he mess up a marrage by not talking to her, and trying to figure out if its actually happening before he says anything to her?
if he finds out shes not cheating he goes on as normal and she has no diea. and if she is cheating boom she will get caught and get fucked. literally.....

edit: BTW i agree the 2 biggest things in a relationship is communication and trust, but this is completely different.

 

Holy moly. Unsubscribed.

 

thats why you dont get caught looking.... and dont do all those things, only enough to get evidence. (a stake out could solve the problem lol)

if he talks to her about her cheating she will hide it better and keep doing it.

i am speaking from personal experience from being in both shoes.

 

True! Oh, wait...

 

What I meant by messing up the marriage is if he suspect that she is cheating and divorce her without confirming it or working on it. I think we are on the same page - just a misunderstanding in how I stated and you understood it.

 

I said it earlier in the thread and I stand by it: the lack of trust is evident and to me that's a deal breaker, it almost doesn't matter if she's cheating or not.

So he finds out she's not cheating this time. I promise you there will be a next time, he'll be paranoid about it for years. Why would he want to live like that? He'll be paranoid and miserable and eventually whether she's doing anything wrong or not she'll get tired of it too because she'll be miserable. Or she'll decide if she's being accused she might as well actually do what she's already getting blamed for.

So to answer your question, yes. I think he should probably just move on. If he didn't think it was a big deal he wouldn't be sending hair for DNA testing and he wouldn't start a thread here for it.

 

... ^^^ ... No, No .... the "hair" was actually a "cat whisker" ...

Read the story more carefully or you won't make a good detective ...
.

 

i think your right i just read it wrong.



Jasmine, answer this- how can you break off a marrage of 11 years because of something someone told you and you dont know for sure?

 

why would he be paranoid if he proved to himself that she isnt cheating? i would be paranoid knowing someone saw something with a guy that could have gone into his house or how ever the story went and i didnt do anything about it so it could still be happening?

 

The only "real" evidence he has is the neighbor's questionable comment to him. If he finds out that there was nothing to it he does not have any reason to not trust her. He can give a deep sigh of relieve and go give her a hug and tell her he loves her and enjoy a happy trusting relationship, and live happily ever after.

(That's the scenario where the neighbor was wrong and there is nothing going on - if she is cheating, it is a whole other story)

 

He'll be paranoid because he doesn't trust her. If he did trust her we wouldn't be having the conversation.

 

who are you to say their marrage is a bad one? just because he suspects her of cheating.

 

how can he not trust her if he proved the neighbor wrong and nothing was actually going on?

you can trust someone 100% and still be suspicious.

 

Issues

 

Neighbor saw something in the dark. Neighbor could just be stirring up trouble (it happens, people are sh!tty). Neighbor could have his own agenda; neighbor could be mad about something.

People who trust their spouse don't send off hair for DNA testing, thy don't say they are suspicious. They tell their informant to f*** off and go about their business. They tell their friends what a POS the informant is for trying to cause trouble.

 

i guess that was contradicting lol. but i still stand by what i have said in this thread

he shouldnt just leave the marrage unless he is for sure. plain and simple.

 

if someone comes up to me and tells me they saw something with my woman and someone else. why the hell would i tell them to fuck off? thats retarted. a very easy to burn all your bridges. sooner or later you will need to cross one of those bridges and it wont be there.

but instead of saying fuck off and talking shit about someone cause they were trying to help you, you could say.... thanks for the information but i dont think anything is happening.

 

Okay here is the deal. I am going out of town in mid April. I leave Thurs night and come back Sunday afternoon.

I went to Cabelas and looked at their "game cams" and I also went to a store that sells secret video cams. I am going to put one cam outside and one inside the house.

If the cameras catch something then i'll confront her with the video.

If the cameras catch nothing then it could mean nothing is going on or that they just didnt do anything that weekend.

In that case i'll just mention to her what the neighbor observed and see what she says.

BTW - those "spy shops" sell some amazing stuff. You can really spy good on people if you want

 

it is because the op is seeing every view!

theres 2 different ways to look at this, your way, and mine. the difference is that if his wife actually is cheating, if he talks to her about it she will get mad at him for wondering it, and deny deny deny. and she will hide it better next time.

your way is basing it off she isnt cheating. and if she isnt and he asks her she will probably be mad but reassure him shes not and hopefully it works out...

so i guess its how you look at it.