Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

You have to shape them into dicks first.

 

Those dudes are getting way more action than most people in quarantine

 

Not quite sure that’s the action the rest of us want.

 

Two Marines were sitting in the chow hall on a Navy LHD minding their own, talking shit as we do when the ships Skipper sits down opposite them a few tables away. The Skipper starts eating his breakfast but it's obvious the sunlight from one of the portholes hitting him directly in the eyes is starting to annoy him. After a short time, the Skipper takes the Motorola radio from his hip and makes a quick call. The two Marines feel the ship begin to adjust its course to the northwest. As the ship changed course, one of the Marines pointed out that the sunlight was now drifting away from the Skipper's face and onto the wall.

The dude had the ship adjust its course to take the sun out of his eyes instead of just moving over two whole chairs.

 

The original version of the story (not mine) is better.



“I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he’s still half asleep, bleary eyed… basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-a** circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He’s squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It’s painful to watch.But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I’m-still-totally-asleep voice, he says ‘heeeey. It’s OPS. Could you… shift our barpat… yeah, one six five. Thanks.’ And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie’s face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I’ve just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship’s back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he’s changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He’s literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I’m terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he’s not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.”

 

You're right, that is a much better version.
I was just paraphrasing what a buddy told me from a MEU

 

Heh we used to do that all the time - just shift the barpat slightly so that we get the swells coming in off the bow instead off the quarter.

 

Once we had to move the big screen a few feet to left so we could fit in an extra beer fridge in the dayroom.