Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

LOL, I took 4 or 5 of those with me to the Philippines and traded them for all kinds of shit. Got a set of utilities off one of the Rock Marines. Traded for some machete made from a lawnmower blade. Everyone I knew has one of those watches. I purchased a Citizen Eco Drive before my first deployment and it didn't leave my wrist for the next 8 years. I still have it in my safe at home and it still works as long as I feed it light every once in a while.

 

It must be difficult to keep up with paygrades in Marines

 

This one feels aimed directly at me

 

LOL, I had a buddy who got selected for SSgt and was scheduled to pin it on, Monday morning. He drove back through the front gate at 2200 Sunday night after attending a cookout where he legit had a few beers. Got busted for being over the legal limit in at like .09. Instead of pinning on E6 the next morning he instead pinned on E4 about two weeks later.

The worst I ever did was go out the night before a buddy and I departed for Iraq on advanced party. We got plastered, I woke up the next morning to my buddies pulling me out of the coffin under someone's rack in a barracks that was not mine. I was hungover, was wearing a clown costume and had a pair of panties on my head and a bunch of beads around my neck. My friends in weapons company said that they were in the courtyard and heard sirens and came out to look. They see my buddy hauling ass in his civic and stuffed it between the dumpsters then we come all Dukes of Hazard out the windows dressed as clowns running to the barracks. They said my buddy climbed about 2 feet up a palm tree and stopped like he was a chameleon and I ran into a room and told them to hide me. Apparently we paused at the gate then made a run for it. We were on the flight line the next morning at 1000 and off to Iraq. When it all finally caught up with my buddy a couple of months later he told the JAG that he was deployed and had parked the car on base and it must have been stolen and they could never prove it was him and they had no idea who the fuck I was in the passenger seat I guess. I had a 1stSgt who really liked us both and pretty much knew what we had done and did ask me about it once but I denied that I knew anything about it. About 7 years ago a bunch of us met up for a weekend 10 years after that all happened. Most of us have long left the military and what do you know. The guy whos room I had taken refuge in had a picture of me that morning as I was getting pulled out of the coffin dressed as a clown. We laughed and I email that picture to my old 1stSgt who was a retired SgtMaj. He got a kick out of it.

After that deployment a bunch of people purchased motorcycles and if you just had your learners you could not ride after dark. On base you had to have hard sole shoes, helmet, gloves and a long sleeve shirt or they would not let you on. I had my license and a buddy who had his learners came back right at dusk and they would not let him ride his bike onto the base. He called me and asked me to come ride his bike from the gate to the barracks. I was in my room drinking, playing cards. Not drunk but borderline to blow under a .08 on a Sat night at the gate. More than likely well over. So I grab my helmet, put on my riding shirt and gloves and boots and walk over to the gate. I arrive and look at the gate guard and said "hey man, here is my license but I have had a few. Is it cool if I ride this bike right over to that barracks?" The guard just shrugged his shoulders and said "you can try". I stood there for a moment and was like yeah NOPE! Fuck this!!

 

I had a Radio operator in my fireteam when I was a LCpl who got busted down twice. Years later when I was a Sgt he came through Mojave Viper where I was a live fire coyote and I was a Sgt and he was a SSgt. I was like bro! How the fuck did this happen!! I never got busted down, always scored at least 290 on my PFT and did everything to get promoted and you get busted down several times and now I am supposed to call you SSgt! That's not fucking happening.

 

The modern 'zero defect' mentality does make for a lot of paralysis and is it's own selection factor. Good kids who fucked up can and should still stay in.

 

This is very true. I did two enlistments and the 2nd was a little extended due to an extension I did for my first to make a deployment. I had a Battalion Commander that wrote me a letter of recommendation to go the officer route as I almost had my degree and I was well liked when I was leaving that command. Somewhere around E5 I started to realize that a lot of my senior enlisted leadership was what would appear to have been the shit birds of there time. I will never forget being a Sgt squad leader. I had agreed to be the PSD for Navy EOD when we got to my last deployment to Iraq. We were in phase 5 of our workup and three weeks before I deployed they removed me from the line company. Said I would be going to H&S company and working directly for the BN XO for the deployment. And that I had my pick of the Marines in the S shops to make up my squad. I was outside the wire for three days, I am ground guiding my three gun trucks back into the wire and here comes the SgtMaj like a bat out of hell right towards me. We were on the big island of HI and they have this lava dust that gets on everything and someone had left the SgtMaj's tent flap open and he figured ripping me a new asshole about it was a good idea. I halted the movement. Went to parade rest and took responsibility and the ass chewing. After the SgtMaj (who was from the air wing) walked away I continued what I was doing. The entire Battalion is out there watching me get my ass chewed and when I get back in the company office (tent) my 1stSgt says "what the fuck was that about?" I said "I don't know 1stSgt, Someone left the SgtMaj's tent open and I guess I am a piece of shit". He laughed and then about 10 min later the SgtMaj walks in and said "hey the BC said need to come over here and apologize to that Sgt. I yelled from the back "it's cool SgtMaj. That Sgt does not actually give a fuck". We turned out to be friends after that.

 

For all my Infantry Brothers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgJG8QgIXOw

 

When the brass is gone and you get the duty desk.

 

I have thoughts on that but suffice to say it's tough to tell the 'good kids' from the true fuckups.

 

I'll defer to Chesty.