Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

The cappuccino never gets me but the old strawberry dairy shake was a sure thing. I used to save one when I was a scout for after coming out of the field and it ensured a clean and fast flush of the system every time.

 

Thinking back on it, my Mom must have been a bad cook. I never had an MRE I didn't like.

 

Sig material right there.

 

Having low standards is a benefit.
I'm picky as hell and hate it

 

When we were broke AF boots we would starve in the field then take our MRE's the the local military surplus and sell them after ops. LOL...

I also remember not wanting to dirty your rifle so we would toss out ammo on field ops. Now I look at what I pay for 5.56 and am like. Why in the fuck did I not just steal copious amounts of ammo!

 

Some boot lost his rifle training at 29 Palms one day. They ended up shutting the base down to find it and they were searching cars leaving the front gate. I went down the tank trails and made it home mostly offroad while traffic was all backed up. My base housing was maybe a click from the front gate so I was sitting out back watching all the backed up traffic drinking a beer and I see this dude running across the desert with an ammo can in his hand. As he gets closer I see it is my buddy who lived off base. He gets to me, out of breath says "here hide this" and runs away back towards his car. I open the can and its like 4 smoke grenades and some random ammo. I called him laughing and was like WTF dude. Why the hell do you have smoke. He was like "bro, its a long story but you know I hate my wife and when I leave I am literally going to pop smoke". I was like, fair enough bro. I shall stash it.

 

Had a buddy who "found" a smoke grenade. Used it on Halloween at a party at his house. Lots of alcohol that night, and most weekends that ended in "....day". I'm sure he wishes he would have kept it to use on his now ex wife.

 

When I was a boot we were not allowed to have hard alcohol in the barracks. We had this awesome Gunny who would do room inspections at random and he would always get us together, normally on a Friday afternoon and would be like "if you MF have anything you are not supposed to have, this is your opportunity. Go and get it now." We would come out with tons of bottles and would just drop them into his trunk. I met up with him years later when I was a Sgt and he was like. Dude, I was just having a party that night and I knew you MF's would provide all the booze. LOL...

 

When I was training at Camp Wilson one time we were getting ready to leave and my 1stSgt tosses me 2 smokes and was like. Make these go away. I walked out back and popped them and tossed them into a bucket of water. Let's just say that does not do shit. All you saw was a Marine dancing around a bucket of water being enveloped by smoke. It was pretty funny.

 

I was usually the one the armorers would come to if they were light on their inventory as I was pretty good at acquiring stuff when we were deployed. Made one of them VERY happy when I walked into his connex with a 40mm HEDP.
Best one was 12 pairs of air ride M1070 seats that were accidentally delivered to my platoons line.

 

Gentlemen we have a fuckin problem solver right here

 

Oh no you dont. Finish this fucking story. Did he pop smoke on her, details dude, WITAF!!! You can't leave us hanging on this.

 

LOL, he did but he did it in the living room and almost burnt the house down as the smoke canister burned through the carpet. It was only one before he realized his failure in the planning phase. His memorable departure was kinda looking more like attempted murder. So… he runs back in, kicks the smoke out the door. Carries her crying from the bedroom then threw another out the window of the truck as he departed. As she was in the front yard. She called my wife and was pretty confused to what had gone down. Lol. Let’s just say PMO was involved at that point.

 

he did it in base housing? dumbass

 

He was off base but the locals cops called PMO because they didn’t want to deal with him. They got him the next day when he attempted to drive through the gate. He ended up losing a stripe through an NJP but I am pretty sure he would have done it again. He was a couple months away from getting out at the time and is probably lucky the civilian police didn’t want to deal with it.