Funny military memes, B.S., and shotgun club!

Back in the early 90s we used those ships to practice ship take downs from zodiacs and helos. Such a weird sight to see them all moored together in the middle of basically nowhere. And the years of bird shit piled up was impressive.

 

be me. Sheriff deppity.

getting jocked up for my first red flag domestic raid, not thrilled but dental plan

3 a.m. roll up in surplus MRAP. painted gloss black, janky yo but whatevs

suburban cul-de-sac, really/ that house? cub scout mom minivan, it’s got garden gnomes, da fuk

Stackupfordentalplan.jpeg. Let’s go


slap down goggles, ir lasers from garden gnomes?oshit

yo sarge, gottabadfeelz.


ram, yell search_warrant.wav

living room, smart tv has fireplace screensaver going lookscozy.us

sheriffs_dept.mp3, spread out.exe, search_warrant.wav


hears the giggling from down hall, standard_response_sheriffs_department_search_warrant.wav


giggling voice from hallway “alexa, alas babylon”


somesort of high-pressure fog machine under the couch starts spitting, ir chemlights fall from the ceiling fans and start swinging superfast on fishing line, all the lights in the house start randomly alternating rgb colors to the beat of Space jam themesong from house stero #fullvolumelove


the tops of the ikea bookcases have an array of dj lasers but… infrared?srsly?

NODS useless now, yelling over jockjams useless


some kinda lego robot goes scurrying past my leg and blowsupinna doorway. screams. sargeyells pushin


Keeps moving forward, voice from hall yells fragout and we see a sofa cushion fly around the corner, then explode in a cloud of premium goose down and broken glass. The man in front of me falls, i grab his shield while sargevoice behind me yells push forward


Next room kitchen. Garbage disposal goin full blast, lights in here are flashing hard, gas stove ignitors goin nuts, fridge looks like ghostbusters with amy grant on the smart screen telling me we’re low on milk

I go left, next man moves right and i see him trip an ir beam coming from the coffee maker, i yell and dive behind the beautiful red granite breakfast island. The Williams-Sonoma pans hanging over him turn into frag, shield saves me.


I see another #Technics Lego robot shoot past me from the reading nook. roomba with a Bored ‘thrower on it zooms past and the new guy is in flames. Stabucks gift cards being kicked out from dispensers above the kitchen cabinets


Next corner, stairs going up, send inna dog? can’t, stairs blocked with baby gates and then someone in camo pajama onesie and a sparkly gas mask tosses a roll of concertina down the stairs, gonna be a long night.


fuggit, start backing out of the house to the sounds of Positive K singing “i gotta man” from the living room while Alexa dials 911.


blinking led on... family portrait? an auto deodorizer sprays me with drakkar noir. Before i can rcover i here admiral akbar yell and the bottom drawer on the breakfast island blows out shredding my leg


Shits’ getting dark yo and as i’m dragged from the house i see a single perp multicam fleece Snuggie with dump pouches everywhere, ir light up sketchers and a rhinestone covered Avon mask and doing the fortnite dance to the sounds of The Ketchup Song


Getting dragged from house to see sarge attacking garden gnomes with hooligan tool. Minivan in flames.

pass out just as dispatch voice comes over alexa “911, what is your emergency?”

 

Korea life

 

Psst, Hey gym bros. Start doing cardio again.

 

“Don’t spend too much time in that draw”.

 

We have folks at work with national defense service medal license plates.

They PAID EXTRA for those.

And the GWOT is just as lame - “I was in uniform when it all happened but I didn’t go nowhere.”

Make it the AFEM or GWOT-E and we’ll at least know you made a rotator flight.