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GF issues, suggestions?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by RoyB, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:16 PM
    #1
    RoyB

    RoyB [OP] Well-Known Member

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    A little background. I am 27, lived on my own since I was 21. She is 22, just moved out for the first time in feb to my house-yes, for those who remember, this is the "roommate" lol.

    I work construction, get up at 4:00am, work 8-10 hour days, get home around 3-6 depending on the hours. Monday-Sat. She works desk job, 9am-5:30, sometimes (most days) she gets stuck late and doesnt get home until 6-7, sometimes 8:00.

    We had a talk a couple months back that i never get to see her. we agreed that sunday would be "our" day. its working ok, but she stays by her parents on sat to see her friends and comes home early sunday. she then is tired all morning and afternoon and doesnt wanna do anything until 3:00, which the day is half over.

    I am upset because the couple hours I might see her on a week night isnt really quality time since im so tired and go to beed early. i see my parents on weds night after work so i dont get home until 10pm and I go to the neigbors on mondays for dinner so that night is pretty much gone too.

    her friends and brother work late so she said she cant see them during the week. I feel like she isnt making time for me, even though she keeps saying she sees me all the time during the week. well, seeing someone for an hour before they fall asleep isnt really worth it to me. i rather see someone for a whole weekend than an hour a night when im tired.

    this has been an issue for the past month and i dont know what to do. she keeps saying she has sacraficed by moving in since she doesnt see her family every night like she used to and she only sees her friends once a week instead of all the time as well. all my justification doesnt seem to be working to explain that she is a grown up now. i only see my friends once every couple weeks. i see my family during the week.....

    im at a loss, suggestions?
     
  2. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:17 PM
    #2
    derekabraham

    derekabraham Living vicariously through everybody

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    Fuck it dude. Kick her to the curb and move on. :D



    There's plenty of other girls out there that would love to spend time with you.



    She lives with you and you have one "day" to see her? That's just dumb.


    You can do better man! :thumbsup:
     
  3. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:19 PM
    #3
    98tacoma27

    98tacoma27 is gooder 'en chicken Moderator

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  4. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:22 PM
    #4
    Hoyal

    Hoyal Whiskey bent and hell bound.

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    I have this problem as well but me and the other half have been together for 4years so we have gotten use to it and dont really care our one day a week is plenty. I work 2 24hour shifts and do 3 12hour shifts over night as well and she works mon-fri 6-4pm. We do spend pretty much every Sunday together though but thats out of choice of us, but we live together and dont stay at our parents houses. My recomendation would be just to address your concerns with her again. If its going to work out some compromises will have to be made. Best of luck to you.
     
  5. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:28 PM
    #5
    Zombie Runner

    Zombie Runner Are these black helicopters for me?

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    get rid of her, if shes more concerned with seeing her friends all the time then it sounds like shes not that worried about your relationship
     
  6. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:29 PM
    #6
    05TacomaCO

    05TacomaCO mmmmm beer!

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    Tell her to grow up. Either she's your gf or your roommate.
     
  7. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:30 PM
    #7
    Burgman

    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    it could be the other way around and she could be with u every second of ur free time
     
  8. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:31 PM
    #8
    gouge44

    gouge44 $DO WORK$

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    can i ask y u go to ur neighbors house for dinner instead of spending the time with her??? and y dont u have her go with you
     
  9. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:35 PM
    #9
    MotoXXX

    MotoXXX Well-Known Member

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    More time for working on your stuff. Sounds like you got it made!
     
  10. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:39 PM
    #10
    j_cyrus

    j_cyrus Well-Known Member

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    The 3 f's

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  11. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:43 PM
    #11
    RoyB

    RoyB [OP] Well-Known Member

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    Well, I would like to explore other options before kicking her out for good.

    Ive been going to my neighbors since before she moved in. She is welcomed but she doesn't get home until like 7:30 on Mondays and I'm home by 8(and pretty buzzed). My neighbors are mid 60s fwiw.

    She says that I am not letting her see her friends when I ask her to come home on Saturdays and implies that I Am controlling. I tell her to have them come over but of course it's unfair for them to drive to my house (30-40 mins) and her brother doesn't like me. Nevermind he has never met me, but doesn't like the idea of her living with her bf. Ahhhh
     
  12. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:47 PM
    #12
    krimson

    krimson Nothin

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    x2
     
  13. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:50 PM
    #13
    cvillechopper

    cvillechopper Jackass to the masses

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    Dude, 5 years at that time in life is a LOT of growing up. You are at a different place in life than she is, plain and simple. My wife and I have 6 years between us but we had both gotten through the 20s crazy life that is necessary to have certain types of experiences which lead you to become who you are. Best bet is to find a way to break the relationship off amicably and let her grow up at her own pace. Possibly you'll get back together down the road, probably not. Either way you'll be better off.
     
  14. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:51 PM
    #14
    HerNameIsLucy

    HerNameIsLucy I miss Lucy. :-(

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    She's gone but not forgotten.
    All this "kick her to the curb" advice is bad. It's bad because if you were ready to do that, you'd have done it by now. Since you asked here I'm gonna assume you care for her enough to not end it just because of this issue.

    My .02...sit down with her and work out a compromise. Even agreeing to sit on the couch at a specific time (8PM Friday nights for example) just to watch a DVD and chew popcorn while hugging can work wonders. Swap turns picking what to watch. Just don't go overboard, women don't find the Three Stooges as funny as we do.

    And don't worry about her brother. It's a brother's job to worry about their sister. He may like you fine but he can't show it, has to keep you looking over your shoulder.
     
  15. Oct 4, 2009 at 4:58 PM
    #15
    JDMcQ

    JDMcQ Well-Known Member

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    Ahh, I fondly remember the "roommate" thread.


    Sounds like she is being rather immature. She needs to grow up a bit and make time for a adult relationship.
     
  16. Oct 4, 2009 at 5:24 PM
    #16
    rb11701

    rb11701 Oh yeah!

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    +1. This is it in a nutshell. No matter how talking you do, she will never she it in your light if she is not on the same page. Which she clearly isn't. Some women are at that age. Others not. Some men are not even close at your age while some are at a younger age. Maturity differs for different people.
     
  17. Oct 4, 2009 at 5:45 PM
    #17
    mpgnc64

    mpgnc64 Well-Known Member

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    She sacrificed by moving in with you??? Man that in itself sounds all kinds of FUBAR. When they start talking like that you are being set up. Sounds like she is trying to manipulate you into adjusting your schedule around hers. Dont fall into that trap and remember pussy is not a management tool.
     
  18. Oct 4, 2009 at 5:50 PM
    #18
    BigBawlzTaco

    BigBawlzTaco Wanna know how I got these scars?

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  19. Oct 4, 2009 at 5:52 PM
    #19
    chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Moderator

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  20. Oct 4, 2009 at 5:58 PM
    #20
    RoyB

    RoyB [OP] Well-Known Member

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    I told her off the bat that I don't date younger girls. I shoulda taken my own advice ;)

    She is going through the phase in her life where she needs to grow up and realize that she isn't going to see her friends and family every day or every week. I don't know how to emphasize this to her. I try telling her that even if she wasn't living with ME, but by herself that she would have the SAME issues.

    I wanted to ask around to see if I am asking more than I should in terms of a relationship. I don't think I am. She threatened to move out again, but she is still here.....

    I can understand PARTLY because if her friends don't work normal hours it could be hard to see them...but I keep asking her why I am the one that has to pay the price then. She says her friends get mad because she only sees them for a short while. I tell her it's not MY fault that they still have kiddie jobs (retail/food) while the two of use have real jobs and that our schedules don't work out with theirs. She wants to make everyone happy but I feel like I am left short in the department.

    I went through this same situation with my last gf...the single mom. She would come up with every excuse in the book to not hang out with me...but claimed she really liked me :rolleyes: I got to see her once a week if I Was lucky, and once a month alone.

    I had just the opposite before as well. She moved a good 2-3 hours from her parents and friends so I was the only source of attention she had. Man, talk about needy lol.
     
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