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Have you sharted?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by rubberduckytaco, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. Aug 29, 2013 at 11:21 AM
    #401
    bldegle2

    bldegle2 OldPhart

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    I picked up the underwear to take a sniff and they were still warm.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Canadians, LOL...
     
  2. Aug 30, 2013 at 7:13 AM
    #402
    zacharypaul89

    zacharypaul89 Eat right, be fit, die anyway

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    This happened to me about a month ago. My girlfriend and I went to Huntington Beach, CA to visit family. Well, her and her cousins' g/f and their friends went to Laguna Beach for a day to sight-see and whatnot. All the guys went to play golf for the day. As soon as we got there, I went to the bathroom in the clubhouse before we hit the driving range. While using the urinal, I farted, but liquid shit came out. It was like throwing a milk shake at a brick wall...the brick wall being the inside of my boxers. I was the only one in the bathroom, so I ran to the sit-down stall, leaving a trail of my diarrhea behind me. I got completely naked and began cleaning up the mess all over my lower extremities. I needed to wet the toilet paper, to make clean up a little easier, so I decided to make a quick dash to the sink, wet as much toilet paper as I could and run back into the stall to finish clean up...all in the nude, mind you. Well, as soon as my naked ass opens the door, a grounds keeper walks in and I froze. He froze. We locked eyes and he slowly backed out of the door, never taking his eyes off mine. I was trying to explain what had happened and why I was standing in the bathroom completely naked, but he wasn't hearing it. I finished cleaning up, threw my underwear away, and walked out of the clubhouse, keeping my eyes locked on the floor as I exited. Most awkward shit ever...no pun intended
     
  3. Aug 30, 2013 at 7:15 AM
    #403
    Blue Hooligan

    Blue Hooligan Well-Known Member

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    I'm just joking of course.









    It was in Lowe's.
     
  4. Aug 30, 2013 at 7:31 AM
    #404
    Ostrichsak

    Ostrichsak Don't taze me bro!

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    Jer
    Northern Colorado, USA
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    He means Lu's. :D
     
  5. Aug 30, 2013 at 7:35 AM
    #405
    t4r4life

    t4r4life poptard and protein farts

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    Eric
    East Bay Area
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    panty dropping mod
    this happened a couple weeks ago.
    so friday night feeling pumped to go to the gym, it was squat day. i took my usual pre workout supplements, but feeling extra good i took a double dose of my preworkout supplement Craze, HUGE mistake. (For those of you who don't know Craze tend to have the effect of a mild laxative.) i usually take my pre-workout shit at home before driving to the gym and it doesnt affect my workout. so as usual as soon as i finished craze i went and did my business and headed to the gym. i've got to say double dose of craze was awesome, i was squatting like a boss loaded the bar all the way up to 495lbs, keep in mind i've been in the gym for close to 2 hours im dead tired, plan was to finish strong and go home, but as soon as i unrack the bar i can feel that "craze shit" feeling come up, i shoulda just put the bar back but i decide to gamble and finish my set, i went down with the bar and as soon as i hit bottom and about to come up i lost control of my butt muscle and what i thought was a fart turn out to be a protein shake of my own. i had no choice but to put the weight down on the safety bar and walk to the bathroom, (everyone in the gym was looking at me, not many people in my gym can squat heavy, but i don't think they know what really happened, they just think i failed the squat because i was tired.) i walked in to the stall pray i didn't crap myself, i pull down my pants for the reveal and the undies are clean but between my cheeks is another story. moral of the story is if you feel like there is a 0.0000001% chance that you think you might shit yourself, stop whatever you are doing and go to the bathroom.
     
  6. Aug 30, 2013 at 7:54 AM
    #406
    Shetto24

    Shetto24 Well-Known Member

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    I can remember I was 8 years old and on a vacation in Japan with the family. We were staying in a hotel that was about 5 blocks to the beach. My brother and I decided to head to the beach after breakfast to scope it out and just as we got there I had the bubbles...and no effing stall to hit up. I told my Bro I''ve gotta jet back to the hotel and promptly take off like a bat outta hell. About 500ft from the entrance the bubbles got mad serious and I started prairie dogging it...the tip toe kind! Getting close to the entrance, chicken skin and all, a shart accidently happens and I'm like FUCK! Well, there was this little garden area right in front of this hotel entrance, it had just enough brush and trees to sneak in and do the do. I saw that nobody was around and so I go for it. Finished the deed and proceed to dig me a hole in the dirt to bury my drawers. Next thing I know, I see my Bro at the entrance and he peeks at me not realizing who was behind the brush. I said yo, it's me and he was like WTF you doing back there and I told him. To this day we get the biggest laughs remembering that story.
     
  7. Aug 30, 2013 at 8:20 AM
    #407
    SoCalTacos

    SoCalTacos Turd runner

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    Several years ago I had a 4th of july pool party...got wasted off multiple types of liquor. I jumped in one end of the pool got out the other and started puking everywhere. While puking, the contracting of the stomach muscles made me fart every time I blew chunks...well those farts eventually turned to sharts...in front of everyone. I passed out after about 15 minutes of this and woke up several hours later on my outdoor furniture to find the house empty, other than my g/f at the time making sure I didnt die in my sleep.
    It was a blast....I threw up on my buddies foot too...thats all I remember cuz I was laughing while doing it.
     
  8. Aug 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM
    #408
    kingrob1990

    kingrob1990 Active Member

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    i did it in the car before with my family inside
     
  9. Aug 30, 2013 at 1:57 PM
    #409
    92dlxman

    92dlxman drinking whats on sale

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    Visalia, CA
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    5100s, ome884s, wheelers aal kit, and some rustoleum
    I was given a special project to take back to the shop to modify 60-something wall brackets for sinks. I confidently said I could cut, bevel, re-weld, and grind these things, and have them all dead-nuts right on with minimal warpage, in less than 6 hours.

    I came from the shop initially so I still know most of the fabbers in there. while busting my ass trying to meet my own deadline, I noticed Gabriel standing behind me in the reflection of my hood. for old times sake, I decided to rip some ass on poor gabe.

    instead of the expected "whoomp", I let more of a "perrr-CUMP". shit. I looked at the clock. looked at the rest of my brackets. I had no choice but to do a quick field-cleaning and finish my work to beat the clock. while in the bathroom, the shop-boss strolled in just in time to thwart my underwear disposal. fucking worked another hour with the very drawers I shat in. hastily cleaned with toilet paper and stinkin something fierce.

    finished the job though. figure i'll bring that up next time I need a raise:cool:
     
  10. Sep 6, 2013 at 5:58 AM
    #410
    NC15TRD

    NC15TRD Well-Known Member

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    Happened Tuesday night. Was at my friend's house hanging out with him and his GF. It was about 10 and I decided to leave. I walked to the door to put my shoes on and felt a small gurgle in my stomach. Really soon afterwards, I felt the need to fart. I relaxed to let it fly. Whilst mid fart, I tried to stop it, knowing something was wrong.

    I couldn't stop.

    Immediately regretted farting. Felt a horrible wet blast and instant "stepped in a pile" smell. His GF yells out "You just shit yourself, didn't you?!" I yelled back "See ya later!!!", and raced home fast as I could. Got home and stripped in the yard tossing my now ass mustard plastered underwear in the trash. With a feeling of shame I made it to the bathroom to take a shower.
     
  11. Sep 25, 2013 at 6:54 AM
    #411
    guitarjamman

    guitarjamman Well-Known Member

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  12. Sep 25, 2013 at 9:04 AM
    #412
    Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    I used to feel invincible and then I sharted.

    I think it's hilarious to shart and have been fortunate to only do it in the confines of my own home. It's one of those things that I can't help but laugh about. I don't much care for cleaning up the mess.
     
  13. Sep 25, 2013 at 9:07 AM
    #413
    t4r4life

    t4r4life poptard and protein farts

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    Eric
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    drug related ones are the worst, take last week i had to take some antibiotics for a tooth infection pharmacist mentioned something about the runs. but i didn't pay much attention, since i took antibiotics before i didn't think much of it. long behold this whole week my shits have been nothing but liquid. so i take all my farts on the shitter now until my prescription is finished.
     
  14. Sep 25, 2013 at 9:14 AM
    #414
    Swank

    Swank Certified Mall Crawling Instructor™

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    LOL :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  15. Sep 25, 2013 at 1:58 PM
    #415
    Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Anyone else sweat a lot and from time to time wonder if it's sweat or something else... neither do I.
     
  16. Sep 26, 2013 at 6:28 PM
    #416
    mntbiker2008

    mntbiker2008 First I derp.. then I herp

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    Aaron
    Cincinnati, OH
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    not a shart but an almost pure shit tonight driving home on the highway.... 2 tools were racing on the their motorcycles doing triple digits easily. Didn't see them nor hear them coming until they flew by me. That alone startled me a bit but then one dude got the death wobble in the back tire and got tossed off the bike... right in front of me. I was doing about 60mph and the 50yrd distance from where i was to the point he landed came fast as hell. almost ran him over... probably got about 2-3 ft from squashing him after swerving. My ass has never been puckered so hard. Got home and took the biggest shit of my life. :eek:
     
  17. Sep 26, 2013 at 7:33 PM
    #417
    anotherreject

    anotherreject Well-Known Member

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    We need more stories in this thread, when i feel down i always read this thread.
     
  18. Sep 26, 2013 at 8:49 PM
    #418
    KenpachiZaraki

    KenpachiZaraki Its Wicked Flow BITCHES!!

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    Word!!
     
  19. Sep 26, 2013 at 8:53 PM
    #419
    302

    302 I love Taylor Swift :D

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    My shart story is no short story and I am not brave enough to share it. On another note I'm surprised there are little to no women chiming in on this thread. They pee in their panties every time they so much as sneeze.


    302
     
  20. Sep 27, 2013 at 12:19 PM
    #420
    MowTaco

    MowTaco Well-Known Member

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