Help a girl out...

AND what they said. Only use 4th whenever towing.

 

Keep your trans in 4th gear and drive 55-60mph. It is normal for truck to feel underpowered if your towing a heavy and large trailer. This is why you stay in 4th gear, it keeps your engine RPM higher for more power and cooling and keeps the trans from hunting gears and unlocking to avoid heat soaking.

 

Having a tow package only affects the amount of weight the truck is rated to tow. It does not give you any additional power or horse power. With a tow package you get things like a transmission cooler, oil cooler, heavy duty alternator and a few other goodies. No additional power.
The4.0 v6 should pull the amount of weight you stated without any problems. You are way below the max rated tow capacity (if you have the tow package.) I pull a 3500 lb boat and trailer no problem. The thing about pulling a travel trailer is at highway speeds the trailer creates a lot of wind resistance and can make it seem like your truck is gutless. If you are driving into a wind your truck will be even more gutless. Also if you have taller than stock tires on your truck your power when towing will be reduced. Be sure to check your tires.
As a reminder always tow in 4 not D (5). You may overheat your transmission towing in D. Your owner’s manual also states this. Sometimes when towing in the mountains or steep grades you may want to drop down into 3. This limits the tranny from excessive gear hunting which can over heat the tranny.
To make towing easier, safer and more pleasant/less tiring you may want to get a weight distribution hitch (wdh) and rear air bags. Getting a scan gauge so you know your transmission temperature is also a good idea.
I think your truck is just fine for towing your trailer. You may want to get some of the things mentioned. I think you just need to get a little more experience towing.
Lastly I hope your trailer has brakes. If not have some installed. Brakes are super important, they can make the difference in stopping in time or having a serious accident.

 

I would add to also drive slow, maybe 55mph where possible so that your RPMs are not too high and you save on gas.

 

I haven’t seen an OE tow package that didn’t have a seven pin connector so your’s may be aftermarket which could mean you’re missing other components that would improve towing ability. IIRC, the tow rating is 3,500 lbs without this. Any knowledgeable mechanic should be able to quickly check for transmission and oil coolers. If you don’t have these, look into having them added. As others have noted, the tow package additions increase durability but not power. Also suggest you have the trailer weighed with your normal camping gear aboard; mfrs are noted for low balling these numbers.

 

I have been towing a 2006 17 ft Spirit Deluxe Casita travel trailer for 9 yrs now, with my 2006 Tacoma TRD Offroad access cab V6, automatic. Its done well over the yrs. I tow in 4th gear per the manual which keeps the transmission temps cooler, and keeps you from blowing up your overdrive gears, and I use the gears also, downshifting, when going downhill as well if needed on curvy roads. A 3rd gen will not help with towing, your 2nd gen is geared much better than the 3rd gen allowing more use of powerband. Personally I will be going to a Tundra TRD Pro soon, since I tow quite a bit per yr, there are less mfgr issues with the Tundra as well, than the Tacoma. Mpg is the bad part of owning a Tundra, your payload of the truck is better at 1630 lbs with Tundra, Most Tacomas are around 1200 lbs payload, which is not much when your headed camping. No wiggle room for extra passengers, etc with the Tacoma where with the Tundra its no problem carrying extra two passengers and not exceeding max payload.