1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

Help

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by UpstateTacoma, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    Dont know where to post this, but hope i got it in the right place.

    Here goes...

    I am now in the process of getting seperated from my wife. We almost seperated last march, but she got better and i gave her a chance. But now i just cant see us being together much longer.

    The reason why we are seperating is because she thinks i value money more than love, she always throws back to me what i said to her to the point its like i am talking to a mirror. Another one is that i am 31 years old, and i have to pracatlly beg to get some in bed and thats ususally once a month. I am too young to not have it when i want it. last time she made the first move or anything was back in november. I worked hard and went to school the same time as working so that i could get a degree so that i could get a better job. Well i got my dream job making the money i deserve and it has putten a big drift on us. She does things all the time that she knows gets me mad. Its gotten to the point where i have no more love for her. But at the same time i feel bad because i have a 6 year old daughter and I dont want to lose her. but i gotta be happy myself. I always have to hear her supection that i like someone else because i work with alot of woman in the hospital setting, and also she always ask 2 to 5 times a day. do you love me, whats wrong with you, or if i have a converstation with her, she will tick me off by saying whoa why are you so angery why do you have alot of anger. She always thinks of herself. example she packed all her woman crap when we went to skiing, and packed my toothbrush, but didnt pack my deoderant, even though its in the same drawer as everything else is. I asked her about it and she said she couldnt pack everything. i was like its in the same drawer... and she was off all day while i worked a 8 to 5 job. To top it of shes completely deaf, and everytime i get an important phone call related to work shes like whos that whos that bothering me all the time while i am on the phone when she knows i cant talk to her and the phone at the same time.

    Sorry for a long post, but i just dont know what to do. I got an appt with the lawyer on march to discuss my options. I just dont want to get raped for child support, (cant really afford it since i have all the student loans and debts in my name)

    I am to the point where i am depressed and my co workers see it also.
     
  2. 07trd4x4

    07trd4x4 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2009
    Member:
    #18143
    Messages:
    9,958
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Greg
    Sacramento CA
    Vehicle:
    LX470
    ... Do what's in your heart!! Good luck!!!
     
  3. HondaGM

    HondaGM Roll Tide

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Member:
    #25056
    Messages:
    5,805
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    James
    South-Pole
    Vehicle:
    09 DC 4x4 Blown Honda VTEC V8
    trd exhaust,step bars,vent visors,bed lights,tailgate mod
    how long have you been married?
     
  4. Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2008
    Member:
    #9849
    Messages:
    13,486
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Power Serge
    LV-426 (Acheron)
    Vehicle:
    07 TRD Off Road 4x4
    Borla Catback Exhaust, Airaid Short Ram Intake, 285x75R16 Mickey Thompson MTZs, 16" Konig Countersteer rims, ARB Bumper, All Pro LT w/Walker Evan Shocks front and back, All Pro expedition leaf pack, 10,000lb Superwinch, Intake Manifold Spacer, Bed Rack with ARB RTT, Rotopack and Hi Lift mounted, Husky Liner mats and an air freshener from 1995.
    Sorry to hear that, fucking shitty. If it's not working for the two of you, then it's best to go separate ways and be happy, than to stick together and be batshit angry all the time. The wife and I don't always see eye to eye (She a red head, I'm fucked to begin with :p), but generally I just give it a day and we're good again. Thankfully neither of us holds a grudge. But if it got to the point where it's making day to day life unbearable, then it'd be time to mosey along. Hopefully she can find someone else to make her happy, and the same goes for you. I can't say crap for the child support I'm afraid.
     
  5. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    7 years going on 8 was with her for 2 years before we got married so its a total of almost 10 years.
     
  6. ColtsTRD

    ColtsTRD .....

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Member:
    #17177
    Messages:
    18,033
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    AZ
    Vehicle:
    2005 TRD DCSB
    Sometime 2 people just drift apart...the thing to remember is that you CAN'T put any strain on your daughter...it's not her fault mom and dad don't get along anymore. You seem like a great guy and all I can say is just do the best you can bud...thats all you can do...let the other pieces fall into place cause its outta your hands. At least at the end of everything you can say you gave it your all.
     
  7. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    Well thats one of the reason why i want to get out now while i am young. i am only 31 years old so i am still in the young enough age. I miss getting my jigs on every night and not have to beg for it once or twice a month.
     
  8. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    Yeah. I mean shes disagrees with everything i do. how i spend my money, how i punish my daughter, etc. I had to put my foot down just to get my audio stuff for my truck, and theres more stuff i want for it but i cant get it because of her. Its a consant stress for me.
     
  9. shockittillyareconizeit

    shockittillyareconizeit Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2009
    Member:
    #19405
    Messages:
    232
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Dustin
    California
    Vehicle:
    '07 Coma PreRunner
    Front - Icon Coilovers, TC UCA's Rear - Billy's 5100/1.5 AAL MB Predator wheels - 16x8 Goodyear Wrangler DuraTrac 285x75x16 Satoshi grille Blacked out badges DTRL mod
    Is she like really, for real deaf? Or are you just saying that cuz she asks you who it is all the time? Bottom line is that you guys have a kid together that needs a MOM AND DAD. Period. That is the number one priority. The you wanting your stuff and her wanting her stuff went out the window when you had your daughter. It's not about either of you now, it's about her. Of course you need to be happy, and if you aren't, you aren't. All i'm saying is that the kid is what matters here. You guys go your separate ways and such, but the child needs to be taken care of even more so now.

    And yeah, you most likely are gonna get raped with child support, but that was the decision you made having a child.

    Hope everything works out for you. If it were me, marriage counseling would have been the first choice when waters turned rough a long time ago.
     
  10. ColtsTRD

    ColtsTRD .....

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Member:
    #17177
    Messages:
    18,033
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    AZ
    Vehicle:
    2005 TRD DCSB
    She should support you and your hobbies...my girl is pulling this shit on me right now and i'm getting pretty fuckin sick of it myself! :cool:
     
  11. HondaGM

    HondaGM Roll Tide

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Member:
    #25056
    Messages:
    5,805
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    James
    South-Pole
    Vehicle:
    09 DC 4x4 Blown Honda VTEC V8
    trd exhaust,step bars,vent visors,bed lights,tailgate mod
    i've been married for 10 years, 1 or 2 times a month is normal i guess,depends on if you beg enough.
     
  12. MAXTacoma

    MAXTacoma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Member:
    #917
    Messages:
    4,341
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    Lexus GS 350
    No but I hope when I get married it is more than that... The least being like once a week...
     
  13. ColtsTRD

    ColtsTRD .....

    Joined:
    May 13, 2009
    Member:
    #17177
    Messages:
    18,033
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Scott
    AZ
    Vehicle:
    2005 TRD DCSB
    that seems to be the norm from what i've heard. I've been with my girl for 6 years and we've been engaged a year. We do the deed about 3-4 time a month...which isn't bad considering our schedules collide so bad
     
  14. MAXTacoma

    MAXTacoma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Member:
    #917
    Messages:
    4,341
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    Lexus GS 350
    That would be keep me happy... I mean more would be great but even when I lived with my ex many times schedules keep things from happening..
     
  15. 01tacoprerunner

    01tacoprerunner Lifted 'n Locked 4WD Prerunner

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2009
    Member:
    #18077
    Messages:
    3,280
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Brian
    Bluefield, WV
    Vehicle:
    01 4WD Prerunner with No-slip locker
    4WD Conversion, No-slip locker, 5100s set at 2.5" and shackles in the back. Black 2nd gen rims, and Courser M/T tires, Bull Bar,Fog lights, UWS toolbox, CB Radio, Fiberglass antenna, 2nd Gen Badges, Deck Plate Mod, Diff Breather Mod, Sockmonkey decals.
    Heard this and you might try it.

    Think of 10 things you would do for her, IF you loved her, and go home and do those things. and keep trying to do those things and see if it works out.

    The most important thing is your daughter.
     
  16. HondaGM

    HondaGM Roll Tide

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Member:
    #25056
    Messages:
    5,805
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    James
    South-Pole
    Vehicle:
    09 DC 4x4 Blown Honda VTEC V8
    trd exhaust,step bars,vent visors,bed lights,tailgate mod
    yeah,but when you get married things change,she doesnt have to impress you as much,you'll see:cool:
     
  17. chris4x4

    chris4x4 With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. Thor

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Member:
    #6497
    Messages:
    103,621
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    FlimFlubberJAM
    Tenoe, AZ
    Vehicle:
    2013 Rubicon Unlimited,
    4.10 gears, sliders, lots of buttons, and yellow flashing lights on the dash.
    Personally, If you still love her, maybe seek counceling. Both of you. Give it a shot first, before throwing in the towel.
     
  18. HondaGM

    HondaGM Roll Tide

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2009
    Member:
    #25056
    Messages:
    5,805
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    James
    South-Pole
    Vehicle:
    09 DC 4x4 Blown Honda VTEC V8
    trd exhaust,step bars,vent visors,bed lights,tailgate mod
    i agree with flim flam rubber rammer jammer
     
  19. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    Yeah but I am home every day and so is she.. we dont go out much or anything. I thought once you turn 30 it get better? then when you hit 50 it gets lagging?
     
  20. UpstateTacoma

    UpstateTacoma [OP] I'd rather be diving than working..

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Member:
    #18385
    Messages:
    276
    Gender:
    Male
    Greenville SC
    Vehicle:
    2010 PreRunner!!!
    All Stock, future mods will be audio only!!
    Thanks Chris,

    We did try but she refuses to really express her feelings because she's stubborn and shes convinced its me and not her. Its been going on for about a year.
     
To Top