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How do you deal with a loss?

Discussion in 'Prayers & Support' started by Toyota Tacoma, Aug 5, 2012.

  1. Aug 5, 2012 at 1:30 AM
    #1
    Toyota Tacoma

    Toyota Tacoma [OP] Well-Known Member

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    Hey guys, I was wondering if you guys had any tips or advise for dealing with a loss.

    These past few weeks I'v been on vacation with some family and friends at the cabin hanging out on the water and having a great time. Everyone is really close and we have all known each other since we were little. My friend came down as he does every year, we are really close and have some great memories growing up together. His friend he brought down had to work on Aug 2nd so they headed back.

    That night I got the news he was in a head on crash after dropping his friend off and died at the scene, speed and alcohol were not factors in the crash.

    I am having a really tough time with this and any advise tips or prayers would help alot. He was only 19 and had two younger sisters and a mom and dad who loved him very much. He was really the glue of the family.

    The hardest part is seeing his family. It really kills me even thinking about them and how it seems impossible to help.

    I'm having a really difficult time with this and anything helps.

    Thanks everyone.
     
  2. Aug 5, 2012 at 1:56 AM
    #2
    BrokenTusk

    BrokenTusk I support a velociraptor free workplace.

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    Sorry to hear about your loss. :(

    It's one of those things about life, the first few people you lose, you've never felt it before, your sad, angry pissed at them and at yourself, wonder all the hows and why's and what if's. After you lose someone, theres no right way, and everyone feels and does it differently.

    At this stage of my life, it's happened a fair amount of times already, usually I go to a local look out and just sit there, staring out over the valley and think. Helps clear your thoughts.

    Best advice I can give: find a beautiful view and go enjoy it. Either bring a friend or by yourself it doesn't matter.
     
  3. Aug 5, 2012 at 2:55 AM
    #3
    28Gauge

    28Gauge Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. The only advice that I can give is to try to move your mind on to other more positive things. Over time, the pain of thinking about the loss of your friend will begin to lessen. Try to think of the good times that you had with them or the funny things that they did.

    In the last four years I have lost my grandmother, my dad and my cousin (he was more like a brother). When those feelings of loss try to creep in from time to time, I try my best to think about the good times that I had with them when they were alive.

    I hope this helps.
     
  4. Aug 5, 2012 at 3:15 AM
    #4
    j83soldier

    j83soldier Well-Known Member

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    There is no right or wrong way to deal with it. I have lost dozens of friends over the last few years and every time I feel like someone took the air out of my sail. The family will grieve as the see fit, just be there. As for you, remeber the good times, when you get down find something productive to occupy yourself, gym, running video games whatever can occupy your minde. It gets easier and that is the sad part. Im sorry for your loss bro, no doubt he was a great person and will be missed
     
  5. Aug 5, 2012 at 3:18 AM
    #5
    Steves104x4

    Steves104x4 Well-Known Member

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    BUCKLE UP! It makes it harder for Aliens to pull you out of your Truck.
    Prayers sent.
     
  6. Aug 5, 2012 at 4:41 AM
    #6
    johneman

    johneman Life is good!!

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    Sorry for your loss:pray:. Everyone mourns ones loss of a loved one or friend differently. j83 says it best though..."remeber the good times, when you get down find something productive to occupy yourself, gym, running video games whatever can occupy your mind"...Time will help ease the pain.
     
  7. Aug 5, 2012 at 4:59 AM
    #7
    DEEVON911

    DEEVON911 Semi-pro

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    Sorry for your loss, and prayers sent. I had a close friend of mine die in an accident, years ago. He was 22yo on his way home from work one night and cresting a hill, at the same time 2 fucking asshole kids, drag racing, in mini fucking vans where cresting the hill also, pretty sure he never knew what hit him.

    Things like this are always hard to deal with, but what you can do is be there for the family and friends, and just remeber time heals all wounds. Not saying you will forget about the pain from you buddies death, but it will get easier to deal with as time moves on.

    I still think of him here and there, and its been 12 years now. But what I think of now is, the crazy/fun things we did, and makes me laugh, sometimes when I'm having a bad day, those memories help.
     
  8. Aug 5, 2012 at 5:05 AM
    #8
    tacoidaho

    tacoidaho Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for sharing your loss.
    About 1 year ago, my daughter who is 22, invited over her boyfriend for dinner for the first time. We enjoyed good food and getting to know this young man who treated our girl so well.
    The following week, we were on a rafting trip in hells canyon Idaho, unable to be reached by phone for 4 days. Upon coming out of the canyon, our cells phones starting beeping with voice mails and texts notifications.

    It seemed "Josh" was riding on his way home and lost control in a corner and hit a light pole, killing him instantly. Our daughter was in shock. To this day she still grieves hard.

    That story and yours, is to remind us that life is so delicate, so...temporary, like a vapor and then its gone. Some times we never know the "why", and yet that is what we search for.

    I believe there is only One who can comfort and truly help in these times with dealing with death. The God of the bible says He is near to those who mourn; I have found Him, and my prayer this morning is you will also. I encourage you to cry out in your own words to this Creator Almighty, who feels your pain and loss. He is only a breath away, there is no right words, or form, just cry out for the Author of all life, and in this death you will find him, to be full of grace, mercy, and compassion.

    John 6:29 "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent."
     
  9. Aug 5, 2012 at 5:50 AM
    #9
    tlh178

    tlh178 Well-Known Member

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    sorry for your loss, i've lost a brother and best friend in a car accident. there is no easy way to deal with losing someone. try to stay busy with family and friends. time heels all wounds. so please give it time! losing my brother was very hard on me, its been 30 years and i have tears in my eyes as i type this. this is the part of life that sucks, i send you caring and warming thoughts! be strong my friend!
     
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