How have kids changed your life?

2 y.o. now, one more on the way in about 2 months.
My son has changed my life, quite a bit.
Lots to think about.

 

I have been divorced since 35 and dated a little here and there but I have custody of both my girls and would not trade it for the world. I have had so many bikes over the years but in 2011 a moron pulled out in front of me and thank god I was going a reasonable speed and was able to land on some guys front lawn... Sold the bike after that and have not rode since. I am all my girls have. Mom is a drunk and wants to party 24/7. My dad left when I was 10 and never saw him again so I always said I would never be like him, well it's safe to say I'm not even close... My girls are 16 and 13 and they tell me everything... Sometimes to much...uggg. Dam girls haha... Great kids though, my life would be boring without them, my 16 yr old was driving my Taco last night. She loves it so now I think I might have to get another... I have the rest of my life to ride but only a few short years left with my girls so riding can wait...

 

My daughter is 14 months old now (can't believe how fast that time went). Like most, I can't wait to get home and see her everyday. When I go to Florida on business, all I think about is my little girl at home. So far, the following has changed:

1) When I found out she was on her way, I sold my 2010 Tacoma. Having a nice new(er) truck in the driveway was not something we needed as a family. I still needed to have Toyota trucks as a hobby solely cause I don't have any other hobbies, so I bought a 1990 Toyota pickup.

2) I'm much less of a work-a-holic now. I used to put in 12 hour days, go to the office on weekends, and work remotely from home in my spare time.

3) I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I have always been the one to have to have clean cars, could never leave a project unfinished, could never let that little squeak in the truck go for more than a day or so without digging in and fixing it. Now, none of it matters. It is what it is and it will get done when it gets done.

4) This is probably the most important to me and my family. I was always someone who was wrapped a little too tight. The slightest thing would aggravate me and I'd be ready to fight and throwing things and tools while working on cars was a common occurrence. Well, when our daughter came, my wife suffered a bout with depression. It lasted for about a year. During that year, most of the time, my wife wasn't able to function (she had good and bad days - but mostly bad). We got her a lot of help, but none of it would really stick. Well, that year was a true test of my patience. I was supporting the house on just my income (which was truly not enough); We were going to doctors that charged $600-$900 per visit and didn't accept insurance (they were known in the country for being the best); I was running a project management department for the largest home elevator and wheelchair lift company in the country; I was dropping our daughter off at daycare on the way to work, picking her up on the way home; and I was getting up all night with her. This was a true test and it wasn't easy. But, I knew she depended on me and it was something I had to do. Ironically, right after my wife started doing better completely, I went on a TW camping trip. The guys told me I was one of the most relaxed people they'd ever met and that nothing seemed to bother me. That's when I realized I really changed.

 

eh,

i'm not going to make it sound pretty, if there's a 17 year old on here thinking getting a kid is all shits and giggles, here's what happened to me:



When my son was 9 months old, i used to work late just so I wouldn't have to go home and take care of him.

Now he's 4 and I love being around him. I never enjoyed the baby thing but once that passes its a lot more fun.

now I have a 4 and 2.5 year old, the 2.5 finally is old enough that he's out of 90% of the baby stuff, my life is finally getting enjoyable again.

I have to admit though, my wife got seriously ill and could not take care of my first son from 9 months to 18 months old, that probably is what made me hate it. work all day, come home to a screaming crying baby, work all night on the baby. Goes to sleep for 2-4 hours at a time, screams and cries for a couple hours, get 2-4 hours of sleep, repeat for the next 9 months.

I've sold my motorcycle, ATV, and 370z. I can no longer go out with the guys spontaneously, or even half of the planned events for that matter.

Don't think I'd trade it for anything though. In a couple more years i'll probably be having the time of my life with my boys.

 

Hang in their. They seem to be getting more and more fun as time goes on.

 

My wife and I just found out we would be having our first child very soon. I had previously planned on getting out of the Air Force, but plans have changed. I am now dumping everything in my savings account to pay off my wife's suv to get rid of the payment. I am also feeling sick to my stomach because I will most likely have to sell my truck which I adore.

I'm not too chipper about the subject at the moment.

 

I am sure that is hard. My step-father came into my life when I was 9-10 and I adore the man. My sister who is 3 years older than myself could care less about him. It's a weird dynamic but one I value. He taught me everything I know about wrenching and fixing things myself. I take pride in the skills I have learned from him.

Keep your head up and enjoy a cold one, man.

 

I do like being able to play with toys again, I'll buy enough for my boys and an extra for me.

 

Trucks come and go. You'll love that kid forever. The truck will be just a distant memory.

 

Thanks

 

Congrats,

Initially, having a baby isn't that expensive. that is of course, after you've got your crib/carrier/car-seat/high-chair, etc etc. that and the dr bills pre-birth.

I hardly noticed a change in bills with my first baby other than diapers. My wife breast fed them so I'm sure that made a huge impact in that because baby milk is NOT cheap.

Once they are a year old and start eating people food, you don't even buy them their own food, just give them bits and peices of your meal, costs nothing as 90% of us have leftovers after we eat anyway.

 

Thats awesome so many of yall truely seem like good dads, I wish I was if the time came. My biggest fear in life is becoming a father.

 

I spend a lot more time at baseball fields, my son plays travel ball.

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I am active duty military so medical bills will be a non-issue which is a big bonus. The only problem will be my wife not working which will make things tight. My truck payment is around 400 per month at the moment. I am debating between throwing 6-8k at it and refinancing which would make my payment drop to about half. Or sell it and buy a beater until my wife finishes college. We plan to breast feed as well. Maybe I don't need to be so worried!

That's sage advice but a hard pill to swallow right now! haha

 

Love my kids, yes...

Love the fact I wont be having anymore, hell yes...

Yay for Vasectomy!

 

I put my wife through college while our son was an infant. I was not making a huge salary at the time. It was tight. But, the breast feeding alone is a huge savings and great for the kid. We also did cloth diapers. They have some really great ones now that are easy to maintain. Their are tons of ways to save money. One thing to look out for though is your wifes nesting instinct. Its a real thing and it really happens believe me. We spent a good amount of money on projects to the house and decorations for their room with each kid. She just goes nuts with it. It may not be as expensive as you are dreading. It wasn't for us. We made due on a pretty tight budget at the time.

 

x2

 

No vasectomy for me, unfortunately for my wife when she had our third and second c-section they insisted she have her tubes tied. So no more kids for me but I'm sure we'll have grand kids someday.

 

Things lost: sleep, some sanity, some patience...

Things gained: EVERYTHING! My 18 month old daughter, aka angel, is simply the best. No matter how bad my day is going, I'll come home and she'll come running over to me happily screaming "Daddy". The bad stuff just goes away. Funny thing is, I never wanted a daughter; I only wanted a son. Now I wouldn't ever even consider changing it for a second. Like I said, my angel is the best.

David

 

Extra spending money went out the door.....and it gets worse as they get older. I have 1 in college, 1 in HS & 2 in middle school.