1. Welcome to Tacoma World!

    You are currently viewing as a guest! To get full-access, you need to register for a FREE account.

    As a registered member, you’ll be able to:
    • Participate in all Tacoma discussion topics
    • Communicate privately with other Tacoma owners from around the world
    • Post your own photos in our Members Gallery
    • Access all special features of the site

How to spot future brother in laws potential drug use?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by jdickey03, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    So some of you may know that I let my future brother in law and his girlfriend rent a room from me.
    Little background: my parents inherited the property I live on after my grandparents death. My dad runs his business (Well Drilling) from his shop in the back of the property, they don't want to sell the house because they don't want new residents to be next to the shop, all his trucks and equipment. House is paid off so I moved in with my fiance. Since we pay nearly nothing to live here, I thought I would be nice and let my fiances younger brother(19years old) and his girlfriend move in with us to let them save some money since they were living in a apartment complex.(This was my decision fiance had no influence on it). I've known her brother for years, even before his sister and I ever got together.
    Brother background: Always was a good kid, semi-strict parents but not too bad. Great football player and wrestler up until his sophmore year in highschool. Had friends with good heads on their shoulders, was best friends with my little cousin. For some reason he decided he sucked at the sports he played and decided he was just going to learn to play the guitar and make money that way...he sucks at the guitar.. He got a job at Burger King while in highschool since he wasn't playing sports(parents rule to keep his car) At this point he started hanging out with people from work..nothing personal towards anyone here that works at fast food places, but atleast here it seems to be a tweakers dream job. He started smoking weed, while obviously his parents are against it but he continued.
    The bad experiences:
    -While still living at home, comes home late one night while his parents are watching tv, here some talking out front of their house and find him hanging passed out outside the passenger side door of his friends by his seat belt...friend was drunk.. parents called cops.. kid arrested
    -DUI on his 19th birthday..DUI or wet and wreckless(I dont even think he knows what he was charged with) either way he was under 21 and blew over .0

    Ok theres alot more but it's just more rambling. Anyways he's lived here two months now, and has some sketchy friends coming over, couple times a kid was high on some kind of downer (heroin, oxy who knows). While I've had buddies over theyve asked why my brother in law is acting weird. I just figured he was just nervous being around new people. But my buddy mentioned coke, i blew it off like yeah right. Then another day he mentioned it again. Again I said ya right. Finally on tuesday my buddy was back over and my brother in law walked in and started hawking up phlegm from his throat(does this often and pisses me off). My buddy says "he's got the drips"...(from coke) so my buddy goes and starts talking to him and again brother in law is acting weird, buddy comes back in the living room and says his eyes are super dilated. .. I was drunk one night and i could have SWORN my brother in law said that he has either tried heroin or does it. (but I have never noticed him acting lethargic) who knows i was drunk lol. But im tired of the awkwardness, something is going on, I told my fiance and she too has noticed weird shit. I dont want this shit in my house. If he's on shit (other then weed I can put up with that) then he needs to leave. His girlfriend is never really home so I dont know what she thinks but i know she doesn't like his friends. Honestly I want to piss test him for any drugs, if he refuses then he's hiding something. My fiance says her parents need to deal with it...yet he's 19 and doesn't live with them and they don't support him.

    Obviously I made the mistake of letting him live here, I don't want to ruin a relationship with this kid. Just don't want any stupid shit going on in my house.

    I've only smoked weed, and dont know the signs of any other drugs. Is there anything I should look for? And should I handle this or let his parents?

    Any input is appreciated, any input other then "your a dumbass for letting her brother move in with you" I know Im a dumbass for this decision.

    DONT LET FAMILY MOVE IN WITH YOU.

    Any ideas?
     
  2. sean266

    sean266 "The Situa-Seen" Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Member:
    #53447
    Messages:
    15,580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sean
    Denver area
    Vehicle:
    Tundra TRD Crewmax Limited
    Toytec BOSS Tundra Kit Black Tundra badges Window tint Stubby antenna Interior led's Center console mag light mod Center console gun holster mod LP leds Switched out chrome mirror caps/exterior door handles to black OEM. Nitto Terra Grappler G2's MotoMetal 971 18x9 wheels
    Ok. If you are aware that he IS on drugs you realize you're putting yourself and your future wife at risk correct? If he's dealing out of the house it's prone to be burglarized and of could get ugly if someone is home.

    Personally, I'm not ok with drugs. Weed, downers, coke etc. never done it and I don't condone it. Usually your gut feeling is right. If it were me, I'd confront him on it and toss him on his ass. Nice? No. But, saving your items from being taken to be sold or having yourself or ur future wife be harmed isn't worth it over saving a few extra bucks a month.
     
  3. t4daddy

    t4daddy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2010
    Member:
    #39041
    Messages:
    4,908
    Gender:
    Male
    North Alabama
    Vehicle:
    2008 PreRunner Double Cab
    Do you have any type of lease, or just a verbal agreement? He may have some rights, a good buddy of mine own some properties, and talks about how hard it is to evict tenants.
     
  4. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    I have friends, and my dad who has done coke and they have told me things to look for and the symptoms add up:
    -Loss of weight(he swears up and down its from having to walk to work..and working at subway according to him has made him healthy) Yet he honestly eats fastfood for every meal
    -Constant phlegm he's hacking up
    -I think one time he said something about having a deviated septum but said it was from something hitting him under his nose?
    -Constantly seems have a lot of energy. then seems like crashes maybe?

    my fiance just texted me and said she talked to her parents about it and they were going to talk to him, he isn't home so either hes at work or at his parents or getting high? Either way im sure he'll be all pissed off when he gets home. I told my fiance if he's on drugs he can't live here, no 2nd chance, 2nd chance just lets him know we know and hes just going to try and hide it. I have known him for a long time, but i guess i never really noticed a change till he moved in.

    Also I confronted him about his friends and how he should look at maybe other jobs, he got defensive and really paranoid. I came to the conclusion maybe he was on mushrooms, in which he said he hadn't done them in a while.(could have been a lie). basically it got into a bad arguement and almost got physical. I called his dad over to talk to him but nothing never really happened. I just told his dad what was going on and went to bed. The next morning he acted like nothing happend.
     
  5. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    THIS^ is what is going to save me, no there is no verbal agreement or any lease. I did this on purpose, because a guy I work with told me about a woman he was dating and when they broke up he let her stay in the other room because she didn't have anywhere to go, but he made a lease and had a tough time getting a eviction notice for her. So there is NOTHING that protects him from being kicked out.. atleast I dont think so. I mean I'm more than happy to give him this months rent back and call it good.

    EDIT:.. But I'll do some googling
     
  6. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    At this point im not trying to be a nice guy, I do have a gut feeling, and my buddies have told me it seems suspicious. Personally Im not okay with drugs. I dont do any, I guess I've become more tolerant of weed because of where I live and pretty much everyone does it...Not saying that it's a good thing
     
  7. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    Yeah the shitty thing is I dont know if he was just BSin' or what. Although why would he lie about it?
     
  8. elmo7

    elmo7 Easily Replaceable Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2011
    Member:
    #61553
    Messages:
    712
    Gender:
    Male
    SC
    Vehicle:
    07 DC TRD OR 4x4
    If you're tolerant of some, how do you draw the line for someone else who's into more?
     
  9. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    I'm still looking for "Non lease/ verbal agreement" California laws, but I think he's too stupid to know his rights. Definately locks would be changed.
     
  10. Oat

    Oat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Member:
    #61992
    Messages:
    1,205
    Gender:
    Male
    Florida
    Vehicle:
    2001 Prerunner
    Gibson Exhaust, Painted factory steel wheels, Chrome wheel caps, K&N Air intake, Tint, Regular Bilstein (yellow/blue) all around, Leveling spacer kit upfront, Partially de-badged, Westin Bullbar with skidplate, White, Double Cab Prerunner SR5
    Hes a adult, i wouldnt care if he does shit outside the house, but if he brings it in your house or comes home fried than its game over, just my opinion.
     
  11. sean266

    sean266 "The Situa-Seen" Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Member:
    #53447
    Messages:
    15,580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sean
    Denver area
    Vehicle:
    Tundra TRD Crewmax Limited
    Toytec BOSS Tundra Kit Black Tundra badges Window tint Stubby antenna Interior led's Center console mag light mod Center console gun holster mod LP leds Switched out chrome mirror caps/exterior door handles to black OEM. Nitto Terra Grappler G2's MotoMetal 971 18x9 wheels
    Have u seen "Puncture"? It's based off a true story and the main actor is a coke addict...or at least was until he suffered a heart attack and died.
     
  12. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    Unfortunately I really don't know how to answer this. I guess i've just heard about the damages these other drugs have done to people, compared to weed. I guess maybe i'm more tolerant of it because I know many people who do it and never have seen anything really changes them like other drugs do.? i dont know..
     
  13. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    I understand he's an adult and he can do whatever, but when he comes home and he's acting sketchy and brings his friends with then yeah thats my main worry. I work with his dad, and straight up told him. The days my fiance and I work late I honestly worry if I am going to come home and my tv is off the wall and shits gone..
     
  14. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    haha yeah this darn county. Fortunately he doesn't smoke here. Atleast I dont think. I told him no smoking in the house, and so far he has respected atleast one thing I ask. Although who knows if he does it while were not home.
     
  15. HomerTaco

    HomerTaco That "grill guy" Vendor

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2010
    Member:
    #34129
    Messages:
    26,801
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Craig
    Bucks County Pa.
    Vehicle:
    07' DCSB cut to pieces...
    Core-Hurst short throw shifter & T-handle / Carbon Fiber Interior / custom console light / De-badged / leather interior / Heated Front seats / Red Line Hood Struts / Painted speaker grills /one-off TRD Satoshi Grill/ Pioneer AVIC-X920BT HU / Scangauge II / Black LED Tails / Dash Mount for iPad / Safari Snorkel / Illuminated 4x4 switch / Leer 100XQ Cap / 4x Innovations sliders / Rear Diff Breather Mod / front windows tinted to 35% / Brute Force Fab Hybrid Front Bumper / BAMF Rear Diff Skid / Budbuilt Skids / CBI Trail Master 2.0 rear hybrid bumper / Fox rr coils/ TC UCA's/ TC spindle gussets/ TC Cam Tab gussets / Dakar leafs / Defined Engineering shackles / All pro U bolt flip / Timbren Rear Bumpstops / BAMF LCA skids / Exhaust Dump / Fog Light anytime Mod / LowRange Off Road extended rear brake lines / ATO Shackle Flip / sectioned Bushwhacker flares / re-geared to 4.56 / ARB Front & Rear Locking Diff / ARB CKMA12 compressor / PrInSu full rack system / 1" body lift
    /\ this /\

    good advice!

    I wish you the best of luck - these situations are always a challenge and the solutions are never the same for everyone.
     
  16. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    No I haven't seen the movie, this is obviously a concern of mine, coming home and finding him dead or one of his friends dead from an OD in MY HOUSE...wouldn't look good
     
  17. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    Yeah that was basically what i told my fiance, she didn't really notice anythign. or if she did she didn't put it together with drug use. Like I told her, yeah he may not be all fucked up on it yet and can still function BUT if we think he's starting it we need to fix it before it gets worse...and by fixing it I dont mean letting him fix it while staying at my house.
     
  18. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    thanks for the input!

    I dont think it has been mentioned yet, but should I handle this? Or let his parents? The shitty thing is I think he feels he doesn't have to give me respect because were close to the same age and he thinks since I'm dating his sister he doesn't really have to listen to me. I don't know if he'd listen to his parents about this either.
     
  19. sean266

    sean266 "The Situa-Seen" Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Member:
    #53447
    Messages:
    15,580
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Sean
    Denver area
    Vehicle:
    Tundra TRD Crewmax Limited
    Toytec BOSS Tundra Kit Black Tundra badges Window tint Stubby antenna Interior led's Center console mag light mod Center console gun holster mod LP leds Switched out chrome mirror caps/exterior door handles to black OEM. Nitto Terra Grappler G2's MotoMetal 971 18x9 wheels
  20. jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2009
    Member:
    #19141
    Messages:
    532
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    John
    Vehicle:
    (SOLD)2006 Tacoma trd offroad
    3" skyjacker Lift,Pioneer touch screen unit. Relentless Rear Bumper.
    The shitty thing is I haven't CAUGHT him doing anything. So its all just suspicion at this point
     
To Top