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How to spot future brother in laws potential drug use?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by jdickey03, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. Jan 12, 2012 at 6:58 PM
    #1
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    .
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2015
  2. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:15 PM
    #2
    sean266

    sean266 #ThinBlueLine Moderator

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    Ok. If you are aware that he IS on drugs you realize you're putting yourself and your future wife at risk correct? If he's dealing out of the house it's prone to be burglarized and of could get ugly if someone is home.

    Personally, I'm not ok with drugs. Weed, downers, coke etc. never done it and I don't condone it. Usually your gut feeling is right. If it were me, I'd confront him on it and toss him on his ass. Nice? No. But, saving your items from being taken to be sold or having yourself or ur future wife be harmed isn't worth it over saving a few extra bucks a month.
     
  3. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:21 PM
    #3
    t4daddy

    t4daddy Well-Known Member

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    Do you have any type of lease, or just a verbal agreement? He may have some rights, a good buddy of mine own some properties, and talks about how hard it is to evict tenants.
     
  4. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:24 PM
    #4
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    I have friends, and my dad who has done coke and they have told me things to look for and the symptoms add up:
    -Loss of weight(he swears up and down its from having to walk to work..and working at subway according to him has made him healthy) Yet he honestly eats fastfood for every meal
    -Constant phlegm he's hacking up
    -I think one time he said something about having a deviated septum but said it was from something hitting him under his nose?
    -Constantly seems have a lot of energy. then seems like crashes maybe?

    my fiance just texted me and said she talked to her parents about it and they were going to talk to him, he isn't home so either hes at work or at his parents or getting high? Either way im sure he'll be all pissed off when he gets home. I told my fiance if he's on drugs he can't live here, no 2nd chance, 2nd chance just lets him know we know and hes just going to try and hide it. I have known him for a long time, but i guess i never really noticed a change till he moved in.

    Also I confronted him about his friends and how he should look at maybe other jobs, he got defensive and really paranoid. I came to the conclusion maybe he was on mushrooms, in which he said he hadn't done them in a while.(could have been a lie). basically it got into a bad arguement and almost got physical. I called his dad over to talk to him but nothing never really happened. I just told his dad what was going on and went to bed. The next morning he acted like nothing happend.
     
  5. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:26 PM
    #5
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    THIS^ is what is going to save me, no there is no verbal agreement or any lease. I did this on purpose, because a guy I work with told me about a woman he was dating and when they broke up he let her stay in the other room because she didn't have anywhere to go, but he made a lease and had a tough time getting a eviction notice for her. So there is NOTHING that protects him from being kicked out.. atleast I dont think so. I mean I'm more than happy to give him this months rent back and call it good.

    EDIT:.. But I'll do some googling
     
  6. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:28 PM
    #6
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    At this point im not trying to be a nice guy, I do have a gut feeling, and my buddies have told me it seems suspicious. Personally Im not okay with drugs. I dont do any, I guess I've become more tolerant of weed because of where I live and pretty much everyone does it...Not saying that it's a good thing
     
  7. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:37 PM
    #7
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    Yeah the shitty thing is I dont know if he was just BSin' or what. Although why would he lie about it?
     
  8. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:38 PM
    #8
    elmo7

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    If you're tolerant of some, how do you draw the line for someone else who's into more?
     
  9. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:41 PM
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    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    I'm still looking for "Non lease/ verbal agreement" California laws, but I think he's too stupid to know his rights. Definately locks would be changed.
     
  10. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:42 PM
    #10
    Oat

    Oat Well-Known Member

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    Hes a adult, i wouldnt care if he does shit outside the house, but if he brings it in your house or comes home fried than its game over, just my opinion.
     
  11. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:43 PM
    #11
    sean266

    sean266 #ThinBlueLine Moderator

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    Have u seen "Puncture"? It's based off a true story and the main actor is a coke addict...or at least was until he suffered a heart attack and died.
     
  12. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:45 PM
    #12
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    Unfortunately I really don't know how to answer this. I guess i've just heard about the damages these other drugs have done to people, compared to weed. I guess maybe i'm more tolerant of it because I know many people who do it and never have seen anything really changes them like other drugs do.? i dont know..
     
  13. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:47 PM
    #13
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    I understand he's an adult and he can do whatever, but when he comes home and he's acting sketchy and brings his friends with then yeah thats my main worry. I work with his dad, and straight up told him. The days my fiance and I work late I honestly worry if I am going to come home and my tv is off the wall and shits gone..
     
  14. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:49 PM
    #14
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    haha yeah this darn county. Fortunately he doesn't smoke here. Atleast I dont think. I told him no smoking in the house, and so far he has respected atleast one thing I ask. Although who knows if he does it while were not home.
     
  15. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:50 PM
    #15
    HomerTaco

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    good advice!

    I wish you the best of luck - these situations are always a challenge and the solutions are never the same for everyone.
     
  16. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:50 PM
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    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    No I haven't seen the movie, this is obviously a concern of mine, coming home and finding him dead or one of his friends dead from an OD in MY HOUSE...wouldn't look good
     
  17. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:52 PM
    #17
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    Yeah that was basically what i told my fiance, she didn't really notice anythign. or if she did she didn't put it together with drug use. Like I told her, yeah he may not be all fucked up on it yet and can still function BUT if we think he's starting it we need to fix it before it gets worse...and by fixing it I dont mean letting him fix it while staying at my house.
     
  18. Jan 12, 2012 at 7:58 PM
    #18
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    thanks for the input!

    I dont think it has been mentioned yet, but should I handle this? Or let his parents? The shitty thing is I think he feels he doesn't have to give me respect because were close to the same age and he thinks since I'm dating his sister he doesn't really have to listen to me. I don't know if he'd listen to his parents about this either.
     
  19. Jan 12, 2012 at 8:08 PM
    #19
    sean266

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  20. Jan 12, 2012 at 8:08 PM
    #20
    jdickey03

    jdickey03 [OP] $enior M3MB3R

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    The shitty thing is I haven't CAUGHT him doing anything. So its all just suspicion at this point
     
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