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Humor: Texts From Last Night

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Agent475, Sep 24, 2009.

  1. Sep 24, 2009 at 1:02 PM
    #1
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Member:
    #8829
    Messages:
    2,876
    Gender:
    Male
    Waldorf, MD
    Vehicle:
    2006 Red TRD Sport
    Hood Struts, 3" Tuff Country Lift, Shortie Antenna, WeatherTechs, Tinted front windows, custom TRD seat covers, custom pedals, debadged, custom USMC badging, quasi-functional hoodscoop (i.e. I cut it open), black front Yota emblem, Tailgate Theft-Prevention mod, Horn Relocation mod, Old Man Emu Carrier Bearing Drop, Brighter Backup Lights Mod, Smittybilt Reciever Hitch Tow Point, currently working on Satoshi Grill Mod
    This site is hilarious: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

    Some sample texts:

    (215): saw you walking with that piece of shit
    (267): and that piece of shit just read that

    --------------

    (515): Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.

    --------------

    (972): It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

    --------------

    (949): if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.

    --------------

    (803): I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".

    --------------

    (433): There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

    --------------

    (931): so today I found out that she used to be a he....
    (1-931): are you gonna get a divorce?

    --------------

    (915): so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
    (1-915): who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me

    --------------

    (972): I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
    (1-972): More like "Chia Pet"
     
  2. Sep 24, 2009 at 1:34 PM
    #2
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Member:
    #8829
    Messages:
    2,876
    Gender:
    Male
    Waldorf, MD
    Vehicle:
    2006 Red TRD Sport
    Hood Struts, 3" Tuff Country Lift, Shortie Antenna, WeatherTechs, Tinted front windows, custom TRD seat covers, custom pedals, debadged, custom USMC badging, quasi-functional hoodscoop (i.e. I cut it open), black front Yota emblem, Tailgate Theft-Prevention mod, Horn Relocation mod, Old Man Emu Carrier Bearing Drop, Brighter Backup Lights Mod, Smittybilt Reciever Hitch Tow Point, currently working on Satoshi Grill Mod
    Hahah:

    (617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
    (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
     
  3. Sep 24, 2009 at 1:36 PM
    #3
    neslerrah

    neslerrah Taco lovin'

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2008
    Member:
    #4803
    Messages:
    6,743
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Harrelsen
    Tucson
    Vehicle:
    5 lug BEAST!
    Secondary air filter removed, elbow mod, BFG T/A KO (31x10.5R15), 15" American Racing Mojaves, BHLM, Dome Light MOD (Blue), Pioneer headunit, Sockmonkey 'TACOMA' Decals, Readylift 5-lug SST, Rear Shocks - Bilstein TRD, Dynomax Super Turbo #17748, DDM Slim Ballast HID Kit H4 Hi/Lo -35W 6000K in headlights, Apexcone Raptor HID Kit H3 - 35W 6000K in Hella 500s, aFe CAI #51-10762, WeatherTech Floorliner, 200W Smart AC Inverter
  4. Sep 24, 2009 at 1:37 PM
    #4
    thebigk

    thebigk 6 Double 5 3 2 1

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2008
    Member:
    #8770
    Messages:
    3,330
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Ken....
    Odessa, TX
    I LOVE that site....I visit it all the time at work when I'm bored.

    Funny shit on there!
     
  5. Sep 24, 2009 at 1:38 PM
    #5
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Member:
    #8829
    Messages:
    2,876
    Gender:
    Male
    Waldorf, MD
    Vehicle:
    2006 Red TRD Sport
    Hood Struts, 3" Tuff Country Lift, Shortie Antenna, WeatherTechs, Tinted front windows, custom TRD seat covers, custom pedals, debadged, custom USMC badging, quasi-functional hoodscoop (i.e. I cut it open), black front Yota emblem, Tailgate Theft-Prevention mod, Horn Relocation mod, Old Man Emu Carrier Bearing Drop, Brighter Backup Lights Mod, Smittybilt Reciever Hitch Tow Point, currently working on Satoshi Grill Mod
    This one is hilarious!!

    (970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
    (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
     
  6. Sep 24, 2009 at 2:06 PM
    #6
    IndigoTaco

    IndigoTaco Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Member:
    #18579
    Messages:
    252
    Gender:
    Male
    Vehicle:
    07 Access Cab Sport 4x4
  7. Sep 24, 2009 at 2:14 PM
    #7
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Member:
    #8829
    Messages:
    2,876
    Gender:
    Male
    Waldorf, MD
    Vehicle:
    2006 Red TRD Sport
    Hood Struts, 3" Tuff Country Lift, Shortie Antenna, WeatherTechs, Tinted front windows, custom TRD seat covers, custom pedals, debadged, custom USMC badging, quasi-functional hoodscoop (i.e. I cut it open), black front Yota emblem, Tailgate Theft-Prevention mod, Horn Relocation mod, Old Man Emu Carrier Bearing Drop, Brighter Backup Lights Mod, Smittybilt Reciever Hitch Tow Point, currently working on Satoshi Grill Mod

    FYI - the site is blocked where I work... So it might be NSFW.
     
  8. Nov 25, 2009 at 12:53 PM
    #8
    311offroad

    311offroad Stock Taco For Now

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2008
    Member:
    #9161
    Messages:
    1,283
    Gender:
    Male
    Milledgeville, GA
    Vehicle:
    2005 TRD OffRoad SR5 4x4 Short Bed Debadged
    20% tint, Debadged, Pioneer AVIC-Z110BT, Infinity component door speakers, MagLite mod
    textsfromlastnight is the best website for work
     
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