I knew it was a trap, but I did it anyway.

Years ago I asked a friend of mine how he went racing each year and his wife didn’t kill him. He brought in 70% of the family income so he paid 70% of the mortgage, 70% of the bills, 70%...... you get the idea. So both of them pay exactly the same amounts proportionate to their income and therefore have the same percentage of discretionary income at the end. His just happens to be larger due to his higher income.

My wife and I have been doing the same almost the whole time we have been together. No hiding money or secret bank accounts or skimming. We are honest to each other and even though “my money” is mine I still discuss larger purchases before making them. We plan bigger house reno’s and repairs together and treat each other like partners in this relationship. Our incomes have ebbed and flowed throughout our relationship. Right now I am the bread winner. At one point my wife’s income was double mine with bonuses and such.

I get it some people look at their other half as a speed bump or even a barrier to their fun and enjoyment but IMO that has more to do with their choice of a mate. Choose wisely. Funny how many complain that after the wedding their partner changed. Ask their friends and family and they will tell you they have been like that from day one. You wouldn’t listen when we told you so.

 

Trying to talk my wife in to going this route.

We've always had separate accounts which has served us well, but I'd like us to compound savings for vacation/travel & larger expenses. The idea is to direct-deposit an equivalent amount (either a % of paycheck or an equal flat-rate) into a 'house/bills account' and auto-draft our bills from there. Then, do the same with a joint savings, reserving the rest as respective 'play funds'

 

That's a good idea!

 

What you hear: “Honey you’ve worked hard all year take your bonus and reward yourself and do whatever you want with it”.
What she meant: “Honey I need _________ (fill in the blank) and with the rest you can buy yourself a six pack of Pilsner Urquell instead of Pabst Blue Ribbon you’ve been drinking”.

 

Dryfly has it right. Be open and up front from the jump like an adult with some respect as well as self respect.

 

What kind of relationships y'all in?

Separate bank accounts, separate credit cards, shared bills (mortage, utilities, not the credit cards obv). After the bills, what you do is your business.

Maybe it's cause we don't have kids.

 

probably would have been a good idea.

honey are you sure? cause im about to spend 3/4 of it on my truck and the hell with you, if you know what im saying honey dear.

 

with kids its alittle more complicated but still doable.

 

The wife and I have separate accounts. I pay all of the household bills and credit cards. She pays for all the property insurances (cars/property) & education. As long as our financial obligations are met each month, she doesn't care what I spend on. When she uses the credit cards for something other than family/groceries, she writes me a check. It works for us.

She doesn't care what I do to the truck as long as I don't get into the motor.

 

I think if she had ZERO idea you were gonna drop thousands on suspensions then that would be reasonable to be like WTF husband?

If she bought some outrageous woman stuff with her bonus item for thousands you'd be pissed too,but if she explained why its "cool" to her, albeit it sound likke shit to you, then at least SOME communication has happened.

BUT- question is did OP say something along the lines of "hey muffin, I was thinking about this set up because it's the shit. And we can have fun with family etc etc. Done some research and this is the way to go" @taco largo

Or were you secretly dreaming of this set up and then pulled the trigger ???

 

wait you mean act like an adult and take someone elses feelings into consideration????

TRD BRO TRD BRO TRD BRO TRD BRO TRD BRO TRD BRO

 

so other than your wife being entitled to half your shit, what's the purpose of marriage.

 

depression

 

ahh sounds like a fair trade off

 

You're entitled to half of hers, so don't act like you're the one hard done by.

 

you give up half your things and give up ALL your time.

I think youre also supposed to get sex but I keep getting a bunch of IOU's

 

My fiancé says when we get married we have to have separate accounts due to my truck spending habits

 

So you gave her the other 1/3 to spend on herself, right?

Married 46 years (6 of them happily, LOL), always a joint account. That's the way it was done back then.