i needed TP and Hand Sanitizer before it was a 'thing' nowadays...

Cheers, Teeco!

 

Fuck it, Ima post one story. Here's the link from T4R to validate it's old and there's no one upmanship intended:
Haha!

This isn't 4R related but your story reminded me of a story... I used to work part time EMS, overnight shift a few days a week. On my way in to work I would get Chipotle for me and my partner and we'd eat right as we came on shift, then have 12 hours of work / sleep, and get off in the morning. I almost always rode my motorcycle in.

Chipotle has a way of working its way through my system, often explosively, in almost exactly 12 hours. Most days when I was getting off, I started feeling the gurgling on my way home and I'd arrive home and dookie like a grown up, no problems.

One day, we had a late call and on that call I was already feeling the gurgling. After getting back to the station, I made a command decision to go ahead and head home, because who wouldn't rather shit in their own bathroom than at the station? I was confident that I had the anal toning to make it.

I start riding home on the the motorcycle and I got about three miles when the gurgling got worse. Way worse. Like a fool, I still thought I could make it, so I didn't turn around and go back. A few miles later, worse still. I stood up while riding because I could clench my ass cheeks together better that way, and I rode the next 15 miles standing up, clenching. By the time I was getting close to the house I was spasming from the clenching required to keep the Carnitas on the clean side of my shorts. I successfully navigated several stop signs and red lights without having to sit down, and I thought there was a chance I could make it...

I pulled in my driveway, and for the first time, I had to move from my standing position to avoid toppling over as I came to a complete stop. Doing that meant I had to swing one leg down to contact the ground... and as I did my sphincter gave up the ghost and I shit myself massively. It was reminiscent of the Dumb and Dumber scene with Jeff Bridges, actually. Sweet relief, yet utter disgust. And I was so close, too...

Maybe we can be poop pals.

 

I see the start of something beautiful

 

You and I write the same. May I suggest another thread for you. Funny shit.

https://www.com/threads/what-is-you...cheating-story-psycho-ex-horror-story.588759/

 

Link doesn't work

 

He would have posted it yesterday but he was in line for TP.

 

dude. Way worse than mine. That is terrible. Cheers to you!

Maybe i should change the thread title to “shit-talking”?

 

https://www.tacomaworld.com/threads...cheating-story-psycho-ex-horror-story.588759/