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I want my wife to stay at home....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by NraFan, May 5, 2010.

  1. May 5, 2010 at 10:31 AM
    #1
    NraFan

    NraFan [OP] Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!

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    As some of you may know, my wife and I are expecting twins. Our fist children. Right now, we both work full time, great benefits, and good pay. We get by every month with enough to buy what we want for the most part. But now I want her to be a stay at home mom. She does too. We can't get by on just one check. ( Stupid car payments ) I have no problem getting a second job, but finding one that pays $20/hr isnt gonna be easy. Cutting our spending will only do so much, the obligatory bills every month are still too much. We really dont want to move in with the folks.

    What have some of you done to get by?

    Anyone have any work at home experience?

    I really want this to work, but I have no idea what to do. Any help would be great. Oh, and I know there are gonna be the smart ass comments, but can we try to be serious? I really do need some help. Thanks everyone.
     
  2. May 5, 2010 at 10:36 AM
    #2
    colinb17

    colinb17 If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving

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    I'm only a college student with a aummer internship, so I don't have nearly the life experience to make any qualified recomendations, but here it goes anyways.....

    would your wife be able to find a "work from home" job of some sort. sounds to me like that would sortof be the best of both worlds, she gets to stay at home with the twins (congrats by the way :) ), but you still have two paychecks to live off of. the pay might not be much compared to a traditional job, but every bit helps.

    Everything will work out, Enjoy your growing family :)
     
  3. May 5, 2010 at 10:36 AM
    #3
    Jigzor

    Jigzor Well-Known Member

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    Will you need both vehicles? Refinance things? Day shift, night shift rotation with wife? Depending on jobs, are you able to ask for a promotion?
     
  4. May 5, 2010 at 10:38 AM
    #4
    eordonez

    eordonez Living vicariously through mjp2

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    I was in your situation last november, with the wife working, and me self employed/unemployed (because it was and still is a tough year) I wanted the same but my wife got laid off and now we are both sitting in home all day....

    We rent an apartment, and have both her car and my truck payments, we tried to get rid of her car since she wasn't using it, but it stood for 2 months on the parking lot, and only got two offers on it, luckily some money came by and we managed to pay half her car debt.

    Hope it works out for you bro, these times are difficult...
     
  5. May 5, 2010 at 10:38 AM
    #5
    Koov

    Koov MonStar

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    I understand you completely. When we had our first child, my wife did stay home and we just got by on what I made. After our child turned 3, my wife worked 3 days a week so was still able to be home with the little one. Can your wife cut back her hours? To say working part time?

    Ideally it would be great to have mom home with the twins, but if you working only is not an option financially, there really isn't any advice I can give you.

    Can you possibly get rid of some payments? Maybe trade in one of your cars to cut down on a payment, etc. Do you own a home or do you rent? Maybe move to a cheaper apt complex?

    If you and your wife work, who will watch the twins when you are at work? Child care is very expensive, here in WA, two kids in childcare would be over 3K a month in expenses. Hopefully you can have family help with that or it may not make sense for your wife to go to work.

    Good luck!
     
  6. May 5, 2010 at 10:39 AM
    #6
    01tacoprerunner

    01tacoprerunner Lifted 'n Locked 4WD Prerunner

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    My youth pastor had the same problem when he had a child, but he just kept giving his 10% tithe to the church and he trusted that God would provide.

    If you are religous.
     
  7. May 5, 2010 at 10:40 AM
    #7
    pittim

    pittim mittip

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    Time to stop buying whatever you want, and start buying what you need.
     
  8. May 5, 2010 at 10:42 AM
    #8
    Doc.SS

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    lose a car
    modify her hours to part time

    you'll need to change something....two newborns are going to require a lot of $$
    you can't just get one thing, you'll have to buy two of everything
     
  9. May 5, 2010 at 10:50 AM
    #9
    docbrown

    docbrown Well-Known Member

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    As far as work at home opportunities, have you and your wife looked into being a medical transcriptionist or coder? Both of those are work at home with fairly flexible hours and decent money. If you have high-speed internet access at home, this might be a possibility. Just a suggestion. Also, I heard recently that Hilton Hotels was looking for reservations CSR's, which is a work at home thing as well. A friend of mine who is a single mom does this.
     
  10. May 5, 2010 at 10:50 AM
    #10
    Rich Beauregard

    Rich Beauregard Well-Known Member

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    JT, Are you still military? If so, is there a chance of Base type Housing for your family? I know VHA (Variable Housing Allowance) & BAQ (Basic Allowance for Quarters) is nice in the paycheck, but sometimes using on/off base housing offered by military is an advantage. Way back in my day (83-90 US Navy)they covered some basics like electric, water/sewer etc... Not sure if military still does this or not, but only a quick thought. I'll try to think of some others ideas. Can you post a little more info? Area in which you live, how long at present job, anything non-identifing your willing to share so we can get some ideas to help out. God Bless, Rich Beauregard Johnstown, Pa (814) 535-1899
     
  11. May 5, 2010 at 10:51 AM
    #11
    jammdogg

    jammdogg Well-Known Member

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    Congrats on the new bundles of joy! We had the same situation, but my wife was able to get a job at a daycare facility where she made some extra $$, got a good discount on childcare, and was able to watch our boy.

    Our son is now 7, and my wife still works in the childcare industry. Money is not great, but it is extra.

    Best of luck.

    James
     
  12. May 5, 2010 at 10:57 AM
    #12
    NraFan

    NraFan [OP] Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!

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    Thanks for all the help guys. Here is a little more info:

    We live in the "Greater" Los Angeles area ( yeah, really great, ha! ) So everything is expensive as hell.

    We both have government jobs. One shift, full time. No possibility of hour reduction or shift changes.

    We both need our cars.

    We are looking into the whole work at home thing.

    We thought, and it still may work, that her mom could watch the kids. That still needs to be figured out. I wouldn't want her working full time just to be able to pay for child care, doesn't make sense.

    We have very affordable rent, no way could we find anything cheaper.

    Nope, not in the Corps any more, so no help from them. Base housing sure would be nice right about now though.

    Thanks for all the support. I know one way or another things will work out. I was just hoping to get a few tips.
     
  13. May 5, 2010 at 10:58 AM
    #13
    Richman21

    Richman21 I think therefore I'm a Democrat

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    Have you calculated your tax on your take home pay with the increased dependants?
     
  14. May 5, 2010 at 11:00 AM
    #14
    NraFan

    NraFan [OP] Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!

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    Not yet, but I know it's not going to be double what I make.
     
  15. May 5, 2010 at 11:04 AM
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    dogbite

    dogbite Well-Known Member

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    With twins, your wife won't really have time for work from home systems.

    Most of what I have to say boils down to prioritization, communication and planning ahead.

    First recognize you have an 18 year committment ahead of you. This is generally a good thing but realize it. Everything changes. You will have much less free time. Your evenings belong to your kids. Your wife will NEED the break. Your kids NEED your time and attention to get their best shot at life. Give your wife the time she needs and man up for your kids. Yes,, you need guy time too, but recognize they will be less.

    Your friendships will change. You won't have time to hang with the guys. Those with kids will understand. Those without, who knows. Eventually, you'll make new friendships with people with kids who can do things at your new level.

    Start tracking every penny you guys make and where it goes. You must know this before you can even begin crafting a smaller budget. Yes, it's a pain. Set aside a SMALL amount of "mad money" you each can spend/save without accounting for it to the other person. You do need some freedom and discretionary spending for sanity but keep it small.

    Sell a car, buy a CHEAP used one you can pay cash for. Keep the car that works best for the whole FAMILY, not the one you like. It may take some months after the twins are here for that all to workout. You may have to put the twins in day care for a time. It will hurt.

    But learn to be a one car family. In that time, on those days she has doctors appointments, she'll load the twins in the car and drive you to work and pick you up. Otherwise, she's AT HOMe. This takes planning so she doesn't come up short on diapers or whatever but you MUST cut costs.

    Take your lunch to work.

    Dump cable/satellite.

    Quit eating out except as special celebrations.

    Re-examine your phone use CLOSELY. It's a big monthly bill and the big costs are a luxury. Pay as you go phones can give you lots of bang for little buck. Look at Tracfone and Net10.

    Buy only with cash/check debit. No credit card or check overdraft account except for EMERGENCIES[ You can't afford the high cost of revolving credit.

    Read Your Money or your Life by Joe Dominguez. And Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. Your wife needs to read these too.

    A parent at home wtih the kids is a wonderful thing and quite often the income of the working parent goes up. Paradoxical yes. Recognize that you might need to be the at home parent if your wife has a better career path than you. That's what happened to me.

    Whoever stays home should talk to their employer about options for continuing a light schedule of work from home. With twins, it will be some weeks before she is ready to even think about work from home and it might not ever work out for a few more years to come until they're in school.

    Sending kids to day care for after school is about as problematic as day care for the whole day.
     
  16. May 5, 2010 at 11:08 AM
    #16
    NraFan

    NraFan [OP] Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!

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    ^^^ Great info! Thanks!
     
  17. May 5, 2010 at 11:09 AM
    #17
    Doc.SS

    Doc.SS ︻╦╤─

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    This is the last thing I'd be concerned with, it would be a minimal amount, what would help is the child credit when filing.
     
  18. May 5, 2010 at 11:10 AM
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    Doc.SS

    Doc.SS ︻╦╤─

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    yes it is
     
  19. May 5, 2010 at 11:14 AM
    #19
    Rich Beauregard

    Rich Beauregard Well-Known Member

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    Glad to see you have a double cab. That's what I have. My wife, 2 sons and I fit just fine in it and the boys are 13 & 15 so it should be good for quite a while. If you can afford to keep the Tacoma. I have been paying $505 a month on my 06 DBL CAB, plus $650 a year INS. That and $272 mo on my house. Bought the house cheap back in 2001 and still working on it, but it's mine (ok, maybe the banks for a while) and I only have 2 more years of paying on both the house and truck. No credit cards! Stay clear unless it's a bank type card where you can only spend what you have in the bank. Other than that, I pay phone bills, water & sewer bills, Tax bills, and cable/internet. 2 more years and things should improve a lot! Yeah!
     
  20. May 5, 2010 at 11:21 AM
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    Drewboto

    Drewboto Well-Known Member

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    My mom would babysit for people she knew and for friends of friends. She didn't have a license (you can babysit up to 4? Kids in this state without a license). She paid income tax and kept the house clean, the kids happy and healthy while my dad worked full time at factory. Everything seemed to work out.
     
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