I want stories of lunatic neighbors

Yeah, we're going to need more.

 

This guy was my neighbor for 10 years and I had heard rumors of him having a record and being a general dirtball. Never had much contact with him, but last summer I had reason to suspect that someone had been in my place when I was out cutting the grass. (I live alone). Didn’t think much of it until I noticed that my coin jar was considerably lighter than it should be. So, I get me a security cam, motion-activated, infra red, etc... Set it up and wait........Fast forward two weeks. Time to cut the grass again, finish up come back in and check the camera. Fuck me. Call the cops and show them the footage and they are laughing. “Wait till we show this at roll call tomorrow!” So they go next door and arrest the guy, hearing set for a month later or so but about a week after this he’s dead of an overdose. I like to think he used my money to off himself, it comforts me to know the money went to a good cause. Anyway, that’s the thumbnail version.

Hand in the proverbial cookie jar.... checking out the back window to make sure I’m still outside.... and returns to grab some more change and spots the cam.

 

Wow...

 

My sentiments as well.

 

At least he didn't steal the Trilene.

 

Or any of the 15 or so custom surf rods. He wouldn’t have got off so easy.

 

Holy shit .some of these are good stories .I'm Canadian.
At my cottage I like to make blowout bombs . Fill a piece of pipe with used gas seal it off throw in the woodpile.
I'm the redneck, but I check the neighbors aren't home.
If I'm the worst anyone has to deal with, then the world ain't that bad. (But I don't want to deal what you others deal with.)
Good luck, have fun, but be respectful, eh?

 

So... my 4th grade English teacher is my next door neighbor. He's been miserable his whole life, and I'll admit I was an ass in his class lol. He had the habit of kicking or throwing anything of ours that rolled onto his lawn back onto ours. Well, I let my cat out at night for his routine neighborhood inspection, and decide to follow him to see what this assholes does... my neighbor kicked my cat and hit his ribs. I yell out to him, and he just looks at me, and goes back into his house. Next day in class, he acted like nothing happened, but I decide to tell my peers what a huge asshole he is lol. I usually park my truck in the street when I use the driveway to wash a car or now the lawn, and I've noticed nails behind my tires once I go to move it back onto the driveway.

 

lol

 

Both are things you should be calling the cops about. Aside from that if I saw someone kick my cat they’d be getting a beating.

 

Guy "tripped on the sidewalk" running back to his house before the cops arrived.

 

Poor guy ended up with broken ribs and a face full of nails. Oh well, accidents happen.

 

I love that the only things u seem to keep in ur house are fishing and alcohol related

 

I mean... I was 9 years old lmao.

 

Technically not true, but one sees where someone could get that impression.

 

Don’t go making excuses now j/k sorry missed the time jump. Go kick his ass now now for the nails, kick him in the ribs and remind him you’ve never forgotten the cat incident.

 

I've done things for revenge

 

I grew up with the family business of very low rent rental houses. Back when I was maybe 16 or 17 in the mid 1980s, there was this neighbor of one of our rental houses that would drink beer all day and toss the beer cans out his window into one of our rental house's yard. I had this rigged up lawn mower where I had stuck a riding mower engine on top of an old push mower deck. I was an expert in hitting beer cans so they would fling really far out the side of the mower. I was mowing along hitting beer cans so they would fling in chunks through the air and smack the side of this guy's house. I was going along with this crazy loud mower smacking beer cans into the side this guy's house one right after the other. Smack! Thud! Smack! Thud! Smack! Thud!

I stop the mower and start cutting weeds with an old Army machete. I hear from that house this really loud yelling. Like more yelling than usual plus crazy screaming. I don't think too much of it because it is, you know, just a typical Tuesday afternoon in low rent housing. Unknown to me at the time was a beer can had gone through one of the guy's bedroom glass window panes. Glass and a crushed beer can had come raining down directly on this guy's face as he lied there sleeping in his waterbed at two in afternoon. Basically he awoke to glass shards, beer, and crumpled beer can all over his face and his purple crushed velvet waterbed sheets. My brother witnessed the whole affair and did not find the need to worry much about it, let alone let me know.

As I am cutting weeds with the machete the yelling and screaming starts to get really loud from inside that house. All of the sudden this wild, tangled long haired, bearded, shirtless, muscular, caveman guy comes out of that house. He starts right at me in one big slurred cussing charge. I go into a Roman Legion soldier fighting stance with my machete held raised back and up gladius style. The guy sees my machete, stops dead in his tracks and goes totally silent. His eyes fixed on the raised machete. A few seconds of silence goes by. I smile and say; "These weeds sure grow fast!" The guy says; "Yeah they sure the do! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" And he walks back into his house.

My brother walks over and tells me about the beer can and the glass raining down all over the guy's face.

Shrug, life with rental property.

 

Well done! Sounds like you could have more stories.