If each car company were a personality, what would they be doing at a party?

I am finding that just using the car companies is bit limiting.

Imagine each car model instead.

 

With your Mom waiting her turn.

 

Maybe not if your girlfriend is a Buick

 

Awesome! I hate Dodge.

Toyota would be sitting in the corner with paperwork, a calculator, a big pair of glasses on, crunching numbers and figuring out maximum efficiency for chugging a beer.

 

Pontiac showed up looking classy, had a few drinks while chatting, then was arrested for public intox and never seen again

 

Fiat (after Mercedes leaves) spends 20 minutes in the bathroom fixing her hair and eye liner before heading back to party and tells stories of her high school glory days. Like that time she and her friend, like, changed into their prom dresses in, like, the backseat. That was like hysterical and so wild.

 

Because it's true

 

Audi shows up with his fake tan, spiked hair, tap out shirt and diamond earings

 

Subaru Forester and her girlfriend showed up a bit ago, politely removed her Birkenstocks and set up her guitar in the corner for a round of Kumbaya.

 

Honda Accord:



Nerd hanging out in the corner too nervous to ask Ford Taurus to dance.

 

Saleen has to keep introducing himself because no one remembers him.

 

Honda was sipping virgin strawberry daiquiri's just to get out and have a good time, then land rover sold dodge a roofie, dodge roofied honda, honda passed out shortly after and dodge fucked the shit out of honda. Honda woke up in the morning with no memory and a sore exhuast pipe.

 

Where is Corvette? He show up yet?

 

Volvo is holding a drunk Mazda Miatas hair back while she pukes in the toilet, then make sure she has a safe ride home.

 

Yes

But he quietly works hard, saves and invests wisely, and retires early a multimillionaire in his 40's

 

Kia Soul, sitting just inside the door wearing argile socks and a fedora hat, waiting for other Kia Souls to come by and talk about jazz music 'cuz it's soooooo cool...