If my truck could talk...

-Driving down extremely dark country road-
Truck: Hey bro, I think that's a mailbox 100 yards up there on the right, lemme dim these brights for you.
Me: Ok....

-Driving down a 4 lane highway-
Truck: Gotta couple 18 wheelers coming up, imma bright light their ass, lol!
Me: What? No, dim pls...
Truck: Gotta establish dominance bro! Lmao
Me: Please don't....
Truck: WTF was their problem? Can't take a joke?

-Driving on flat interstate, no headwind-
Me: Ok buddy, I'm gonna set the cruise...
Truck: I got you fam! >Downshifts<
Me: Uh, we've been cruising in 6th for 20 miles, what's up?
Truck: I like to keep that little bit extra on tap, if you know what I mean..... >Winks<
Me: >sighs<

 

If my truck could talk, I'd have to kill it.

 

If my truck could talk ...

Truck: Why me? Why?

 

If my truck could talk... it would cuss me daily.

 

If my truck could talk it would say please stop farting in my damn seats.

 

Tacos auto dim their lights now? Glad I got the non-tech package I guess.

 

You can turn that off you know.

My truck would say, Hey, I'm a truck quit babying me.

 

Me: Come on, Shift already!

My Truck: Nope.

Me: All right, Manual Mode- 6th gear

My Truck: Nope, Go F$%^ yourself, I shift when I want just to piss you off.

Me: Well that figures...

 

My truck would thank me every day for not pulling any more 6500 lb trailers. It did not like that one bit.

 

Ive got the same auto dim feature in my Corolla and it sucks balls.. I do like the Cruise that will pace the cars ahead of you. Long road trips in the corolla are epic because it literally will drive itself.

 

If my truck could talk this morning: “weeeee! I love this white stuff called snow, weeeeee!”

 

Mine would say,
Welcome, ECT is engaged, S4 is set, we are ready. Hey driver, I like the way you press the pedal down all the way and make my RPMs go up. I may not be doing much for your gas mileage, but it sure does make for a nice drive.

 

"If that little mutt of his digs her nails into my console vinyl one more time, I'm gonna lockdown the brakes and send her yappy ass through the windshield"

 

if my truck could talk it would say Dude your such an awesome owner and handsome and witty

 

Me: Go Truck
Truck: Thank you for pushing the pedal. I shall go.

Truck: PS - thanks for the new magnetic grey raised letters on the glove box. I shall go a little faster today.

It’s a good relationship...

 

My truck does talk. It told me “hey fella....how ‘bout a little 5W30 next time?”

 

Too funny and true!!

 

Truck: "Damn bro! Save some pussy for other guys. You cant have it all!"

Me:

 

I still find it funny when you go into the towing threads and some of these guys are pulling 24 ft campers that weight around that dry and are claiming their Taco’s are pulling and stopping with 0 hesitation at all.

 

Truck: Holy shit that's some big heavy balls I'm holding up in the driver's seat.

Me: Yeah