If the zombies attacked....

Better take your Absorball just in case!

 

I just watched 28 weeks later the other night and when those zombies were breaking thru the wood over the windows and thru the door, all I could think of was how would I have enough time to open the gunsafe and get something, anything out quick enough to stop them. My hands would be shaking so much I'd have trouble getting the barrel key in the lock.

They'd get me for sure.

 

Joedirt's plan:

1.
1.1
1.2
2. Run upstairs, 'cause I'll be on the computer surfing TW.
3. Look for gunsafe keys. (I thought I put them in the nightstand! Medicine cabinet! )
4. Try to get barrel key in lock. (Sounds of hell unleashing downstairs and in living room making my hands shake way too much. )
5. Finally get safe open. Grab first thing hands touch. ( I can't see, 'cause the sh*t would happen at night and I didn't flip the lightswitch in the closet on when I ran into the bedroom. ( Doh!!) It would probably be the M1 Garand. Which isn't loaded. (Doh!! Doh!!) Toss it aside.
6. Grab the next thing to it. M1A. It is loaded. With a five round clip. (Thanks to all gun ban proponents, during which time this rifle was purchased. Doh!! )
7. Bring rifle up to shoulder just as bedroom door crashes down. There's six of them coming thru the doorway. Sh*t.
8. Fire rifle five times, take out five of the six, throw rifle at sixth zombie.
9. When thrown rifle fails to stop zombie, dash across the room and burst thru the window (2nd floor) and fall to the ground, breaking leg.
10. Kiss ass goodbye.

 

I think I would find a big loader or bulldozer. For two reason: zombies would be no match for the hunk of metal and two I would be able to move those cars in the way.

Something even better would be one of these Shredders Can you say zombie mulch.

Problems would be fuel supply, about only enough for a day of zombie work. Need bigger tanks.

 

ok i've actually been thinking about this let me know if i'm on to something. what are zombies? tehy are dead people that walk around, which means they are in a constant state of decay....kinda like old people. where do old people go when they're sick cause the climate is better? dry arid places like AZ. AZ may be hotter than SC but we do hit triple digits here in the summer. Now combine that with our 300% humidity and human flesh will rot way faster in SC than AZ. i'm starting to think that SC is moist enough to rot any zombies after just a few days in the sun. seems like a dry heat would actually turn them into a mummified state. have you ever fucked with a zombie mummy? No, you haven't, because anyone that has never survived to talk about it

 

ok, i'm not questioning your zombie wisdom here but.... how did we come to the conclusion that zombies dont like heat? is there some kind of scientific basis for that assumption? was it in a movie? i'm just curious, i need all the info i can get for when hell's gates overflow and the undead walk the earth.

 

nah..........you drink enuff of my moonshine...........zombies wont fuck with ya man!!!

its our zombie antidote!!!

 

Its all in the Zombie Survival Guide.

 

I think you just inspired me to move to AZ.

 

yeah no shit, AZ sounds pretty bad ass...