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I'm livid...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Agent475, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. Sep 28, 2009 at 11:55 AM
    #1
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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  2. Sep 28, 2009 at 11:57 AM
    #2
    NraFan

    NraFan Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!

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    Do what you need to do talk things through. Money kills relationships. She might just be asking to make sure its not a fraudulant charge. Talk to her. Explain your frustration and work it out. Its not worth losing a good thing. Good luck and remember...

    dont sweat the petty things, and dont pet the sweaty things.
     
  3. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:00 PM
    #3
    lookylookitzadam

    lookylookitzadam Retrofit Club!

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    Just kidding, definitely talk it out with her. Dont go into the fact that you make more money than her, that will push her over if she seems that involved with the finances.

    Why dont you do that to her? Interrogate her with everything. She will see it getting old real fast.
     
  4. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:00 PM
    #4
    PrezidentRedz

    PrezidentRedz Uncivilized Creations Prez

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    Ouch bro, I knw what you mean. thats tough, you just need to put your foot down and stand your ground. but at the same time, we all need to compromise. hope things get better.

    You should come down one weekend and hang out with me and Coil. Or come to RC with us in Nov.
     
  5. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:03 PM
    #5
    SManZ

    SManZ el tráfico más lento se queda derecha

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    I'd be just like you...pretty pissed. Is this something that started recently or has it been that way forever? If its something recent maybe she has a reason? How did she react when you told her you woudn't respond to the interrogations?
     
  6. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:09 PM
    #6
    fasn8dave

    fasn8dave Hey guys watch THIS!

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    My wife does the finances and she's a stay-at-hom mom.

    She knows I go out to lunch and stuff, and once in a while I'll PayPal something LOL

    We EACH have an agreed to amount of "play money" each time I get paid. She keeps track of the expenses and lets me know how close I am, or if we've hit our limit (at that point the one that HASN'T hit the limit will let the other borrow)

    Money comes and goes but our marriage is forever. She has a full understanding of our bills and we split what's left 50/50. We also save a good bit every month for unforeseen emergencies.

    Talk to her about it and let her know this is makign you... well... livid. Either that or to go the ATM on payday and get out on lump "allowance" and leave the debit card alone.

    Only YOU will know what will work best for you and the lady. The important thing is to communicate this in a tactful way so you can live happier.

    Good luck my friend.
     
  7. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:10 PM
    #7
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    P.S. I'd love to hang again sometime - soon as I'm done with this issue. I want to avoid any problems.... I've worked too hard in life... Marines, Iraq, what I do now and I shouldn't have to be grilled when I get home. It should be easier than this.
     
  8. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:11 PM
    #8
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    I've held off on mods so we could pay off all of our CCs and such... I should just go get my rims and tires today and be like "what now biatch!!!??"
     
  9. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:12 PM
    #9
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    +1 Also good advice.
     
  10. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:17 PM
    #10
    thestrangebrew

    thestrangebrew AlphaPlanner

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    Ouch. This is scary considering I just opened a joint account with my wife last week, so there hasn't been much activity on it by either of us. All I can say, based on reading other's responses and a complete lack of experience is that communication is key. If it's bugging you then it's good you put your foot down and told her. But you can't just leave it at that. You have to tell her exactly how it makes you feel (yes you'll have to get in touch with your emotions...) and that you'd like to know why it's ok for her to do things and not for you.

    I don't know about doing what she does to you back at her will accomplish. From what I understand doing the thing that pisses you off to your partner always backfires. It's your marriage and money's a bitch, don't let this ruin it. Seems too trivial... Good luck.
     
  11. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:19 PM
    #11
    nad

    nad mmmm tacos!

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    get separate bank accounts
     
  12. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:36 PM
    #12
    Krazie Sj

    Krazie Sj Resident Jackass

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    Take out $150 bucks every two week and pay cash for all your frivolous crap.

    You can't win against a red head. You can just delay your inevitable losing.

    Trust me, I'm with one myself.


    Honestly though, it just sounds like she's making sure you guys aren't getting scammed by some gas station clerk double swiping your debit card. Take it easy, buy a bottle of your favorite hooch and have a swig.
     
  13. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:39 PM
    #13
    Hoyal

    Hoyal Whiskey bent and hell bound.

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    I didnt read all the responses cuz im lazy, but it seems kinda weird that she would do that as long as the bills are getting paid and like you said its not an outragious amount. I will say this and not to mean anything really about it in your relation ship but in my past the 1st go around with a chick once she started questioning me she was actually cheating on me so I thought that was kind of weird. My current situation we have agreed not to aruge over money because it can do some damage on a relationship.
     
  14. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:43 PM
    #14
    nad

    nad mmmm tacos!

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    not trying to start shit but most of the time when someone is not trust worthy of their partner its because they know what they have done behind their partners back and they gets curious as to if you are doing the same as they did. In other words if your mate is accusing you of cheating, its usually because they have cheated or got damn close to it. I never used to think my gf would do anything behind my back then I cheated on her and now I cant trust her at all cause I think that if I fucked up she can too.
     
  15. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:50 PM
    #15
    schiz94

    schiz94 Thread Jacker

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    spend more money on the taco.. and tell her you need to for when zombies overtake the world
     
  16. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:52 PM
    #16
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    Wise words from experienced... Establish Do's and Don'ts from the beginning - lest you will be in my situation. Let her know that it's not cool... use me as an example if you have to.

    We had them and it was a PITA to manage money that way. But not a bad idea if it keeps going.

    Oh, beer is on the to do list tonight for sure. I should just set up an allotment from work for like 200 bones a week - OR maybe when I get a raise, I'll redirect that money into a seperate account. Hmmm...

    No worries - I don't always read all responses for a thread (this one I did though because I started it). You bring up a good point. For some reason she doesn't trust me and I cannot put my finger on why. Lack of trust in a relationship is like cancer... it'll spread and spread until it finally gets you.

    I dunno - I hate to be a dick and ask her if she's messing around(but that is not the first time I've heard that about women not trusting men); I'd prefer not to get to her level.... so, I'll save that one for the future.



    You guys are probably right. Time will tell and I'll catch her if she is. I just hope that if she is, that I don't end up with the Herps or something nasty like that...
     
  17. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:52 PM
    #17
    PrezidentRedz

    PrezidentRedz Uncivilized Creations Prez

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    yeah I feel yeah, well we dont live that Far apart, come come over one weekend, you could bring her if you wanted.

    just take it with a grain of salt, im a Red head my self. and me and my Grl have been together for almost 4yrs. and we always fit over stupid shit. and let me ask a question, does anyone think after 3yrs I should knw if I want to get married.?
     
  18. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:52 PM
    #18
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    LOL - That is funny.
     
  19. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:55 PM
    #19
    Agent475

    Agent475 [OP] "Mark It Zero"

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    Yea, I will NEVER bring her to a Taco event. She'll take offense to EVERYTHING. I got blasted for wanting to go to Hooters with you guys last time. We don't even do anything that bad... except for some language. It's not like we took a bunch of strippers off-roading with us and had them playing in the mud. It's not like we had topless Taco washes... Damn. Un-fucking-fair man.

    She is part of the reason I haven't been on TW in a while (that and I was at school for a long time). She'll search the threads for my name just to see what I am saying. That's why I changed my SN.

    And to answer your question - IF you have ANY doubt - even 1 little one... don't do it.
     
  20. Sep 28, 2009 at 12:55 PM
    #20
    PrezidentRedz

    PrezidentRedz Uncivilized Creations Prez

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