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INTERNATIONAL ALERTS TO TERROR THREATS IN 2011

Discussion in 'Military' started by MT Madman, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. Apr 23, 2011 at 6:58 AM
    #1
    MT Madman

    MT Madman [OP] Senior Citizen

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    By John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

    The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.


    The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
    Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have
    been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.


    The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.


    Italy
    has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."


    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.


    The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.


    Australia
    , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
     
  2. Apr 23, 2011 at 6:23 PM
    #2
    CoalMedic

    CoalMedic Molon Labe

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  3. Jun 2, 2011 at 8:11 PM
    #3
    scocar

    scocar being weird again....still

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    Damn, it has already been posted! Apparently it was making the rounds again. As the son of immigrant parents (English) and fan of all things Pythonian and Cleesian, I approve.
     
  4. Jun 2, 2011 at 8:12 PM
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    OZ-T

    OZ-T All of those moments....will be lost.....in time

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    Tell em we already got wan
     
  5. Jun 2, 2011 at 11:01 PM
    #5
    scocar

    scocar being weird again....still

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    You've already got one? Show it to us!
     
  6. Jun 3, 2011 at 2:33 PM
    #6
    river rat 69

    river rat 69 Well-Known Member

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    x 10
     
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