issues installing oem tow hitch harness 4 prong (Oh where, oh where is my converter plug)

i installed a used OEM class iv Tacoma trailer hitch without issue. I then got my hands on the 4 pin oem tow harness and installed it on the bush icon with no issues, EXCEPT I was unable to locate this special magical plug or clip supposedly already in my wire harness sitting empty. Directions show this clip behind the main drivers side fuse box, laid in the main wire harness on that side. Directions read that it is high up in the dash, but can be found new the wire harness clip(drivers side under dash). This plug simply plugs into the converter from the kit I purchased. The converter then gets bolted to the sheet metal by drivers side kick panel area.
I was able to find all other necessary ends on my stock harness that plugs into the kit's provided wiring that goes all the way to the back bumper/4 prong plug.
I even plugged in the new oem fuse and relay in the fuse box under hood that are provided by the kit. I have checked the 4 prong electrical trailer connector and it has power but no signal lights are working because of this missing converter.
I Have searched and found others who had this same problem, BUT THEY LOCATED THE MISSING PLUG. I spent many many days looking myself, then took it to the dealer for help. The spent all day searching by a tech who has installed these harnesses before--he was not able to
Help. Instead, I Was told my 2013 2.7l 5speed Access cab non-tow package did not have this plug....But if that's the case, why does it have the more important plug/connection for the harness out to my 4 prong plug? Why is the relay and fuse spot there and everything works to send power to 4 prong? It
Makes not sense...my search
Showed people did have problems finding the plug initially, yet they All succeeded in the End.
Please help...cant find the missing oem plug so I can't connect the "converter" from oem 4 prof tow harness....

 

I Am still looking for mine ....AFTER 2 DAYS at least I now Im not alone in this issue or Im not the first one... found the 4 pin as directed by the manual that came with my oem towing wire harness, I had read multiple threads here most people seems to find it at end always saying something like
(is way up there in the dash) or (that the connector is wrap up with electrical tape mix with a bunch of wires). or they just simply don't say were exactly is or show a picture which say more then 1000 words.. I had remove most of the electrical tape of my wires found 2 connectors white with black caps wayyy up there in the dash by driver side kit panel non of does fit on my converter box which is a 9 pin or 9P denso brand if you did found this 9 pin connector PLEASE let me know or send a pic