joint or seperate checking account

HA! If we helped the OP with anything, it was to realize how glad he should be that he's not married to any of us!
WE'RE all opinionated jerks who'll argue at the drop of a hat!

 

There's a difference between committing to someone to cease having financial independence and calling your wife to tell her you're taking a dump. Surely that's understandable. Marriage is exactly a commitment to cease independent action. If not that, then what is it?

 

Baby, I want to cease independent actions with you all night long.

I want to revel in our lack of fiduciary autonomy until it hurts so much I can revel no longer.

 

I'm taking a dump. You sir are not my wife. And furthermore my partner does not know I'm taking a dump. Does she not know what's in the bank?

 

Marriage is a collaboration and a commitment to share your lives with each other. I've never heard a single wedding speech about giving up your independence or closing down your personal bank account.
Just because you maintain some financial autonomy doesn't make you less committed to your significant other. If it keeps you from arguing about money (A HUGE cause of divorce, statistically), then maybe it makes you MORE committed to that other person.

 

This is us... We fight less now about money now that we dont have any lmao... but in all seriousness.. we talked about it before we got engaged and this just seemed like the right thing to do for us...

She spends what she wants on herself but asks me if we have the money (i do the books) We have a budget every month that if she wants to spend she can, recently not so much but thats because we dont have any to spend between truck payment, Trip, her school, ect. Plus having to save for her a new car next year...

 

We each have our own. And then we have the house account (checking and savings). Each paycheck we put in our equal amount into the joint account and pay the bills accordingly.

I get to spend my money how I want to, she gets to do the same. No questions. No asking permission. No explaining yourself

 

Bump!!!

 

My Wife and I lived together for three years and have been married for another thirty-five (most of the time happily) and from the first day we moved in together we have had both joint checking and savings accounts. nothing has ever been separate. Has that caused some tension and arguments occasionally ... of course it has ... but this is what works for "us". I don't know of any couple (married or otherwise) who doesn't squabble about something from time to time.

Our Daughter and her Husband both maintain completely separate accounts and each of them pays specific bills in their household and both chip in for the mortgage payment ... and sometimes they squabble over money ... but that is what works for "them".

I tend to disagree with the posters who think this indicates a lack of commitment as I know my daughter and Son-In-Law are as commited to each other as any couple I know. Each individual person is raised differently and is comfortable with what they grew up learning and knowing ... and each married couple or set of significant others also have their own set of rules, agreements and situations they are comfortable with.

How each different couple handle their finances isn't wrong for them ... it is simply different from how other couples handle "their" finances.

Different doesn't mean wrong ... it just means different.

If this offends or angers anyone ... sorry, not my intent. Just my nickles worth.

 

Not married, been together 7 years. Joint as well as separate. Works for us. She needs money, it's there, I need money, it's there.

 

We have several of each.

Since I make the lions share of the income, my checking account is the 'main' one. She runs day to day ops, but I have access if I want it. I choose not to, most times.

She's insane, but she has a good bill-paying system down pat, and at around a decade together I stopped worrying much about it. I check into things regularly, but just because rather than out of any real concern.

My 'side' money, however, is up to my discretion as you may imagine. Usually I give most of it to her anyhow, as it'll go towards bills/food/beer/savings/whatever, but I usually keep out a couple hundred to a couple thousand a year in what I call 'fuckoff money' and just play with it.

That's the fund I normally build my computers out of, for instance, or get craft beer with. Titty bar money, as we used to call it.

 

26 years 1 account.. a family member has a separate account all they do is bitch if one has more money then the other.. Fvck that.

 

Just pop a cap in their socialist ass.

 

SOME financial autonomy, not complete financial autonomy. Of course there needs to be some autonomy. I'm arguing against COMPLETE financial autonomy in marriage. I completely agree with everything you said in the above quote. But, if we are comparing complete separation of spousal finances vs zero autonomy, I argue for zero autonomy.

 

Not really related. Just a Vladimir pic for the clandestine.

 

There isn't any one correct way to be married , you clowns are all just spewing opinions

 

Nonsense.

Just keep being wrong 100% of the time, and...well, you're there!

 

No five or anything. But I would have separate and a joint. joint account for paying bills or all around house things. Separate accounts so you can get things you want/like that the other may not agree with getting(like truck mods or other toys/mods, guns,. and she can spend her own money on shoes every 2 or 3 weeks.


I also think either way(if you do 3 accounts or one joint) have another account for vacations or unexpected emergencies. that account can be a joint account and just take a small % from both your pay checks, every pay check or every other. That way if something bad happens you have some extra money aside from the joint account that pays bills and or your separate accounts.

for instance, say you have separate accounts and both by something thats kinda pricy, that may make you kinda close on the next bills that come in and a few weeks later one of you is in a car wreck, or something happens to family out of state. You have some money that you can use to help with insurance or travel frees to see family.

 

Seperate

 

*separate