Justifying it to the wife...

So, I'm planning to get an OME lift and an ARB bumper sometime after Christmas. While the wife is "mostly" okay with it, she's a little dubious of the price tag for that setup. So far I've justified it by saying that I need the bumper because I drive a lot of deer-infested roads, and of course I can't get the bumper without a better suspension system (886 coils). And for the rear, every time I tow anything those rear springs are just toast, so obviously I NEED the Dakars. I realize some of you don't bother trying to justify stuff, but for those that do, what are some of your tactics? Humorous justifications for all mods welcome here, not just for lifts. Post'em all...

 

I have lurked this forum on and off for years and just bought a Tacoma...

That said, I joined just so I could reply to this. I FEEL your pain. My fiancee and I have lived together for about 4 years now and share accounts (basically, we're married). So when I purchase stuff, I always have to justify it. Although, usually most of my justifications are really weak and include that I WANT it and I'll be a much happier person to be around. LOL!

Anyway, I had laugh (a little at your expense) because I can empathize!

 

That's good. I'll have to use that

 

Just remember......

When she wants a few pairs of shoes, a really expensive purse, some kitchen items, spa treatment, get her nails done....

You're gonna have to say YES HONEY!!

 

I will let my wife get whatever she wants because compared to taco parts I'm always playing with and the snowmobile and trailer I just bought she can get a lot of nail treatments, spa visits and about 50 ( insert famous brand ) purses. I always run stuff by her and sometimes have to make justifications but we try not to ride each other's asses about it much. She knows what kind of hours I put in at work and what I make so we know our level of spending comfort......

 

The wife and I have been together for almost a decade. We STILL have separate checking, savings and retirement accounts. We each pay our own vehicle notes and insurance. If SHE wants a new wheels and tires for the Wrangler, I do the research, she writes the check. If I want new billies all the way around on the TACO, it is fully up to me. While we might discuss in terms of joint expenses coming up, like yearly property taxes, it is really our own decision. Sometimes, since I have the expertise in mechanical work, I will spec out repairs, last year it was new tie rods and drag links for the jeep. Since I spend a few hours selecting key components, it was just easier for me to order them/install ($200 got us the two piece tie rods with ends, and two piece drag link, with ends) and she will pick up one of my expenses.

On the other hand, we put a fancy RockHard Plate winch bumper on the wrangler, and it is a maintenance nightmare. In five years, we had to strip it once, derust and repaint. Now it needs to come off again, this time for complete sandblasting. I think they used remelted scrap for plate, since neither the powder coat from the factory or the aftermarket primer/paint have worked very well. But next step is Sherwin-Williams Kem-Kromic primer, followed by black industrial enamel, after sandblasting until metal is white.

The bumper will be expensive and a PITA to install, but the suspension is far more reasonably priced and easier to put on in my opinion. BTW, even a good bumper/grill guard won't do much to eliminate damage from a deer strike, it will just funnel the damage to hood, windshield and roof. Just get a decent spring compressor.

 

we also have all our own accounts and expenses minus the shared house stuff, insurances etc....takes a lot of headache out of things!

 

Just do what 99% of us do on here and lie about the price.

 

If you have to justify anything you aren't budgeting correctly. (same goes for her).

Both of you should have your own discretionary funds to spend as you wish.

That way you aren't making purchase choices that impacts the household.

When your $ is spent, you wait till your funds are replenished.

 

Nailed it!

I'm divorced after a 20 year marriage, so now I have the tough job of justification to me. I can afford it, but I tend to get bored with my rides right at about the 18 month point. I've done it a few times and skipped it a few.

But what Jan said rang true in my marriage. I'd have to justify buying a new lawnmower to mow the lawn on our nice house and she'd go to the salon, the spa, mani/pedi, and on and on without even a blink. She had 20 purses easily and I had 1 wallet from Walmart for our entire 20 year marriage.

Every time I even think of wanting anything to do with a relationship with another woman I think of Jeff Garlin's wife on Curb your Enthusiasm.

Wow, Cathartic.

 

I've only been married 3 years, but I can say this mans advice is both true as it is rare. He nailed it. If you follow his advice you might be disappointed sometimes, and have to wait to purchase something, or completely cancel the purchase. Even so your marriage will be strengthened by your leadership and self-control as a man.

 

It's kinda interesting how different people are....Sorry to hear about your marriage (or maybe it was a blessing in disguise?)

In our house....the money is lumped together into joint accounts. I grew up with a penny pinching stubborn father, so I really don't need things. I'll have the same pair of jeans for 20 years because they're still good and fit me. LOL
My husband is the spender..... but, he also keeps track of our finances and is the bread winner (makes a shit-ton more than I do). I don't ever complain.

He's always telling me to go to the mall and buy clothes and get my nails done (I don't have any nails). I just Poo-poo him and say, I don't need anything. But, when or if I want something.....he never argues.

Wait....did we veer off topic? To the OP..... There's a big difference between WANT & NEED and CAN WE AFFORD IT? Are you better off paying some extra $$ towards debt? Or are you financially secure enough that you can justify it ? Chances are....if you are financially secure enough, she won't care (and still, she'll want some new shoes lol)

 

If you keep having to justify things like this to your wife she might not be your wife much longer. just saying
Just be up front with it and no BS, good luck.

 

That's got to top the "Worst advice given on TW" list. I'm hoping it was meant as a joke.

OP, tell her the truth - why you want the bumper and suspension, the real costs, and the benefits of the upgrades. Simple, really. Then you only have one story to remember - the truth.

 

Interesting mix of good/bad advice here, although I didn't really mean for my op to be taken so seriously! My arguments in favor of a lift are pretty see-through...my wife's too smart for that. It's all in good fun. My favorite quote I've seen on somebody's signature in this forum is "My biggest fear in life is that after I'm dead, my wife will sell my guns and truck for what I told her I paid for them."

 

I was joking. The truth world be more like: "run the idea by her, get shot down, and save the money." Happy wife = happy life

 

I just order what I need and install parts when she's out of the house. Usually months later a buddy will notice said parts and say something like "sweet, you got a new axle!". Then the wife gives me that look. It's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

 

Are you poor or something? Not trying to be a dick but Im tired of seeing so many pussies on her having to kiss ass to their wife to get a suspension upgrade.

Either you can afford it or you cant, so if you can then why do you need to justify it?

 

I'm going to guess you've been married three times and the current girl has severe daddy issues and is named Tiffany?

 

Lolololololol

Tacobrah.. Maybe in the guido world of the jersey shore that shit works.. But not anywhere else