Key not working, manual not helping

The battery (in my key) died two days ago. Went to the store and bought myself a pallet of toilet paper, 30lbs of rice, and two duracell replacement batteries, because that's what you do these days. Installed the new battery yesterday, and..... nothing.

I have scoured the manual. It seems to imply that replacing the battery should be enough, but I'm not getting anything. Can't lock/unlock, start the truck with it, nothing.

I have sat with the key next to the PTS button for 2+ minutes, still nothing.

Looking for suggestions on next steps. Gonna try swapping out the battery again, doubting that the new one was already dead when I put it in, but who knows.

 

What brand rice?

I have a peasant key, so I can’t help you. But I am concerned about the quality of rice.

 

not trying to be a smart ass but are you sure you put the battery in the right way? I did this with my Cadillac a few years ago and almost headed towards the dealer. I checked the orientation and had it in upside down.

 

Did you remove the safety sticker from the battery....

 

Rice? I'm wondering how he got ahold of a whole pallet of tp

 

Gotta go with the Kroger store brand, I feel like you can't really mess up rice.

I like to cruise around with a forklift loaded in the back, beats the hell out of using maxtrax.

 

Well I'm ready to delete my account, legally change my name, and come back claiming to own a 2nd gen.

No. I didn't.

Thank you.

 

Shit happens bro, at least it was a small problem and not one of those "I modified something small and now my truck won't start"

 

my gf bought a 30lb bag of this dog shit. It’s an insult to trashcans, I can’t even throw it away

 

The bag or the gf?

 

Possibly the best part is I pointed the sticker out to my wife yesterday when I opened the package. I believe I said something along the lines of, "If there's a sticker, it means some idiot let their baby eat a battery and probably sued... mumble something about dumb people mumble."

 

Is "Grano Extra Largo" proper Spanish? It sounds like someone translating with Google from ten years ago.

 

When I first glanced at the brand and thought "I didn't know Nilla was moving from wafers to rice"

 

But, but...... how can that be??? Goya’s slogan has always been: “If it's Goya, it has to be good".
LMAO

 

They’d probably be good tho


Damnit Ho, now I want some banana pudding

 

I think I’ve got everything to make it, but bananas are too ripe right now.

 

Dude, that's a lot of TP. Hope you also bought a plunger.