Life improvement thread

This is true, but unfortunately with an addictive personality.. that only goes so far.


I speak from experience, I have dealt with this all my life.... alcohol, pills, meth, cocaine...etc.
Currently it's been alcohol, I drink way too much. About 750 ml per day of tequila, there are circumstances in the past year that have overwhelmed me to cause this. Unfortunately, the devil on your shoulder wins a lot of the time. You know its destructive behavior, yet you think you have control. "Control " is an illusion.

 

Please read this. It is from the other side of this stuff. It will help.

https://americandigest.org/the-man-who-carried-a-dark-lantern/

 

@Oreo Cat

Music has always been a release for me "personally". I've played guitar since I was 14 (thank you David Gilmour for that). But I find so many songs that have just the right lyrics that touch just the right cord. I find comfort in that. This song is a pretty good representation of that.

"Push it down and it comes out sideways".

The lyrics in this song are pretty powerful. Great song and Travis Meadows is amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNwdZif1q9A

 

I quit fighting my demons long ago. I found out that if I made friends with them they have less reasons to fuck with me.

 

Before I had 20 years sober, my cousin quit drinking before me and stayed sober for a long time and improved his life greatly. He was kind of an inspiration to me. After I fell off for a couple of years then abruptly quit, he asked me how was it so easy for you. I told him that I had a good memory of sober life and how much better I felt all the time.
That cousin is still struggling. I think I've been 4-5 years now.
Addictive personality, this is so true too.
I wish you the best and overcome that demon if you need to.
I messed with other stuff too.
Life is so much better now.

 

I don't know how I'm sober but I know I can't afford to take only one drink.

 

I've only read the OP so forgive me if I repeat anything someone else has already mentioned.

As expected I wouldn't have posted if I didn't also have issues in my past. Generally, when there's something we don't like about our lives we push it to the side and resort to numerous forms of escapism; some play video games, some like sex, for others it's alcohol. I had a "come to Jesus" moment a long time ago and realized I was doing bad things with bad people and going nowhere fast. If I may, my general advise would be, stay sober long enough to figure out what it is you are not content with. Once you address the root cause(s) it'll be a lot safer to readdress/create a new "relationship" with alcohol.

Otherwise you can try Alcoholics Anonymous (https://www.12step-online.com/meetings/online-aa-zoom-meetings/) or SMART Recovery (https://www.smartrecovery.org/community/calendar.php) if you don't care for religious platitudes.

If you ever feel out of control and/or there is no point of continuing please reach out to someone, anyone. And as always keep your head up champ!

 

I smoked weed daily for the past 10+ years. Also drank a little. Recently broke my elbow and was prescribed opiates for pain. I made the decision to quit drinking and smoking cold turkey. I figured my body couldn't handle all 3, pills, smoke, drink. Haven't smoked weed in 3 months. I'm actually repulsed by it now. Didn't even finish the pills, I hate pills. Now I just have a beer or seltzer once in a while. No more 6 beers a night.

I also started working doordash at night time to make extra money. I truly believe spending your free time doing something productive, will help you forget about the urges. If you have a lot of free time, the mind gets bored.

 

You're in good company here..you never have to drink again if you don't want to. Been doing this for a little bit myself.

 

Routines are good if they are good routines..yup. I never was a trigger drinker. I drank Tuesday because it's league night, Friday because it's Friday, Saturday because it's Saturday, Sunday because I'm watching football..insert random other day here and there. I still play league, I just drink soda or water and don't play on the same squad as the drinking buddies.

My wife (social drinker and very rare marijuana smoking) recently had to be on opiates for a few days. Not her choice but had major surgery. She couldn't wait to stop them.

Free time..perhaps rediscover old passions as well. I lift weights now (never did that until I turned 40)..and started working on bikes again, preference to old BMX.

 

I hope the OP is doing well. I hope that he is still following this thread since we all care. But I also know that it is not "our" timeframe that anyone can hold someone to. Once someone makes up their mind to tackle this issue is when the healing begins.

Hope we hear from you soon @Oreo Cat

 

TW stopped sending notifications for this thread. Still here, just trying to stay with it and find a school to get into. Thank you all for checking up. Been a weird week with jobs, and school related stuff

 

How’s the sobriety going? Have you been able to handle not drinking? We all stumble, it’s how we respond and act after falling that shows how important sobriety really is to us and those who love us.

 

I found that keeping myself busy helps. Too easy to just sit around and drink when you have idle time. Good luck brother.

 

Hey man, keeping you in my thoughts. Sending support your way, no matter where you are on your journey.

Something I've been thinking about:
Don't forget to be a good friend to yourself. It may take practice. We're taught how to be good to other people growing up, but if there was a class on how to have a healthy relationship with yourself I must have been sick that day. I'm in a pretty good place now, but I def have had (and still do sometimes) moments where I realize I've been thinking/talking about myself badly. And if someone was talking about a buddy the way I talk to myself?! Oh it would be instant hands. So try to be a good friend to yourself.

 

Find a routine and treatment that works for you. My current routine is working out and seeing a therapist once a week and generally just keeping myself occupied/staying busy. Dont be ashamed to seek out therapy. I regret not doing this in my early 20s but as I approach my mid 30s I realize its better late then never. I just hit my 100th day of sobriety yesterday 10/13. Not going to lie it has been very tough but it is doable. There is life on the other side and for me it has opened up alot and forced me to face things I was trying to run from. Good luck bro. My DM's are open if needed.

 

100 days!!!! Good for you sir. Keep up the good work.