Life improvement thread

You can do it , it’s hard but you can do it ,don’t let your mind win,it’s much better on the sober side of the fence

 

The other side of the fence has lawyers DUI s expenses etc

 

Keep rockin' it, minute by minute. You got this!

 

Something that occurred to me, there are apps for everything, including sobriety. Track your sobriety in an app, many apps also offer built-in community support from others doing the same. I don’t think there is one magic tool or method for success, but more likely a series of tools that can each play a part into contributing toward success. The more tools you have at your disposal the better. Try searching sobriety in your App Store platform and see if any of them look appealing. If you were successful today, you can be successful tomorrow. You can do this.

 

In time you might find people you work with are on the same path. My brother in law has 3 other folks in his shop and says they have a lunchtime meeting every day.

2 people is all it takes. Keep in touch with your buddy or another loved one who understands. My inbox here is onpen.

Lifelong disciple of Henry. Even when those 2 weren't my thing, I'd find other things to do like video games or work on my truck. Without even thinking about it the problems got pushed out of my head as the current task needed full concentration.

Routines are good if they are good routines. What you mention here is normal. I never drank because I had a shitty day or something. Tuesday because it's league night, Friday bc it's Friday, Saturday because it's Saturday, Sunday because it's football day, etc.

 

You might read The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. Small things that you do every day, including established routines are what bring great success as they build upon each other. Highly recommend for everyone actually.

 

i be drunk every night almost

 

Not any way to go through life

If you are young you will pay mightily as you age.

 

Recognizing a problem is the first step in a long journey. Are you needing motivation to kick the habit?

 

Grew up with a wonderful dad who didn’t recognize his problem until years after the rest of us did. Ruined our relationship for a time. He does his best now, goes to meetings, remembers his time with us more.

While in college, and in the couple years after college, I noticed I was going down the path he went down. I was lucky. I noticed early and had a best friend who out of the blue one day looked at me and while we sat at the ski lodge bar and said “I think I want to take a break from drinking”. I remember feeling so damn excited, which I hadn’t expected! I joined him in the challenge. That was 5 years ago. We both still don’t drink. I turned 29 this week, he turns 29 tomorrow. Happiest and healthiest we’ve ever been.

I found that hobbies and interests saved me. I spent more time working on my mountain bikes and race prepping, working out more, I even took a pottery class just for something to take my mind off things. Pottery ended up being so relaxing and enjoyable that 5 years down the road and I’m now a high school pottery teacher on the side.

Probably never would’ve happened if my friend hadn’t made a decision that helped both of us.

stay strong, speak up when you’re hurting, help your mind and body to stay busy. And find something to work at and find slow progression in. Having something else to work towards and distract you is incredibly helpful.

 

I used to be a drunk and a stoner. Started in the 10th grade in high school and ended 3 years after graduation. I drank so much beer that I switched to whisky because it was cheaper. When I wasn't drunk I was getting high. I did avoid drugs for the most part but when I indulged in them it never went well. I pretty much lived on the street or with friends.
I grew up in a violent home. I was 6 when I was nearly killed in one beating that I still have the scars from 57 years later. I am getting ready to have surgery on my nose in April to repair damage that causes me problems now. It will be my third procedure since 2004 from that assault. That happened in 1965. Anyways this is why I drank. School was my escape so I did exceptionally well there but when school let out I got drunk and didn't go home until everyone went to bed, If I did go home.
What sobered me up? I had a friend "Crispy" who was as bad off as me that ripped me off $400 and stole my car one night and dumped me in a cemetery before he took off. We had just started partying and he pulled out a joint and said he had some" killer weed". He had me light it up and hit it a few times and a few minutes later I was so wasted that I went down pretty quick. Later other friends told me he had "dusted" me.
After he dumped me in the cemetery he took off and I never saw him again. They did find my car over in Akron involved in a hit and run. Crispy went to prison for armed robbery a few years later that I read in the newspaper. I guess Crispy saw me as a way out with my car and money.
In the cemetery I woke up to a voice that kept saying "Your a fool" over and over again. When I opened my eyes there were these glowing orbs bouncing in the air all around me. I realized the voice was a friend of mine who committed suicide about 6 months earlier. It was in the middle of the winter and brutal cold and I would have died in that cemetery if it wasn't for that voice. When I got to my feet it all went away. A passing car turned out to be a friend who then took me to his house.
After that drinking wasn't any fun anymore and I wanted to quit but couldn't. To quit I had to do something extreme. I had to be away from what made me drink which was family and friends. I packed up and moved to Kentucky for 3 years and went cold turkey down there. Everything changed after that and I actually moved back to Ohio and have been sober since 1982. I needed to change my life or I was going to die. That was my motivation to stop. Who we are comes from the lives we live. When I look back I probably lived and died more than most people ever will.

 

I was motivated once. Dont see the point now. At the point where i dont even see the point of trying. All i do is just give myself to others and all the only one who seems to give is shit it my dog

 

Coffee and lots of it.

 

I think you could find answers to those challenges in AA. I’ve learned a lot about myself and continue to learn every day in AA. It really works wonders for a lot of people, myself included. Not saying it’s the only solution at all. But it helps identify problem ways of thinking and gives a road map for successful living. PM me if I can be of any help to you.

 

I know someone that has done the same, from the same town even. Bail to the west coast and start over, leaving all that behind forever. To this day he still credits the move as the best life choice he has ever made to leave the super toxic environment he was immersed in. Years later his daughter started down that same path in Ohio, and he yanked her out of there to the West coast likely saving her life. He said the same thing, he had to do something extreme. Move as far away as possible, where he knew no-one and leave everything behind. And it paid off.

 

They call that the geographic cure. That’s great it worked for them but it doesn’t for most. Like they say the problem with running away is that no matter where you go you bring yourself along.

 

A sad note to what I said earlier is having to see other family go through things like what I went through and they don't listen.
I have a niece whos parents were either drunk all the time or on meth. They let her run wild even when she was little. She lived with us off and on and I constantly tried to get family to turn her parents in but nobody wanted to intervene and I didn't because of all the flack I was getting. I blame myself as well now. I should have turned them in anyways. My wife kept hoping she would listen to us but she didn't. She got into everything, dropped out of school and got pregnant and had 4 kids she didn't take care of and lost one of them. Basically she disappeared from our lives. I know its because nobody was ever there for her either.

 

Don’t beat yourself up

 

Crap man, that feeling sucks. The best description I have found,

Is standing on the street in Chicago, with the ice cold wind blowing thru the giant hole in my guts.

Alcohol filled that hole for me, untill it didn't. Then it felt like it turned on me. It didn't work, but I couldn't stop. The terrible emptiness was there no matter how much I drank.

That was a bad situation.

I found a way out in AA.

This might help you. The only requirement is that you can be honest with yourself.