Mall Rated as F**K!

Noble preamble:

My kid is 17 and works as a dishwasher part time. He has $216 to his name after buying parts to fix broken car which is still broke down but we will wrench on that tomorrow. He wants a PS4 but is broke AF. It's Thanksf**kingGiving but Walmart has 1TB PS4s at $200 while supplies last*. I hate the consumer whore culture that created this disaster but... $150 off is $150 off. So, softie that I am I agree to drive him there.

The drama unfolds:
HOLY FU*K! It's a sh1t show of epic proportions. Crazy people running with big screen TVs. All we need is a car burning and it would look like Detroit 1 minute after the Pistons got robbed of a championship. Cars stacked up and up in every isle, no spots, no way in or out. But wait... is there? I mean, there is no "approved" way but... Taco Supreme to the rescue.

Exciting conclusion:
Like Baby Driver I go into improv mode. Over the curbing, angled across the drainage ditch full of .... ? SPLASH, up the 40' embankment to the back of the lot... a quick retail strike from the boy via the automotive section register and back out again. A $200 smash and grab. Then we bomb back down the grassy knoll! SPLASH! thru the ditch... and bound back out onto Mall Blvd over the curb into traffic with a PS4 and mighty Taco covered in mud!

I am mall rated as fuck! Like a boss.

I might need a lift for Target or Kohls though. Maybe some sliders.

 

wut

 

What the heck did I just read about exactly?

 

You go girl. Show those curbs who's boss!

 

Typical 4x4 action on a Black Friday sale event. Been doing that for years. Along with making my own parking spots. Nothing to see here. Nice score on the PS4 though.

 

Papa said, "Let that boy boogie woogie"!

 

Out of focus blurry Walmart security cameras or it didn't happen.

 

Hold yer phone vertically

 

So...a typical day at Wal-Mart then.

 

This is why i shop cyber monday, last year a lady stabbed someone in walmart because they took the last flate screen she wanted. WHAT HAVE PEOPLE BECOME THESE DAYS?!? INSANE!

 

I looked in my manual but can’t find the button for improv mode. Is that aftermarket?

 

It's a driver mod. Works for all vehicles.

 

That’s genetic engineered AF bruh.

 

Have to have lift and sliders to mall crawl bro

 

'cmon now bruh... we got to take a break from complaining about diff whine and low end torque every once in a while. Can't a guy start a thread where a Taco does something useful for once? Total win. Like beating the hooker to get your money back in GTA.

 

Where are the pictures?